I've attempted to call her but she never answers my calls. I've texted her asking why she is doing this, why she called and lied to me about her relationship with my WH. I told her that my children cry for their dad and should I have my oldest DD call her with all the questions as she was only 7 years younger. Of course, I've had no reply. Am I just making things worse by texting her these things?

It's usually a waste of time to contact the OW unless she doesn't know WS is married. The point is, she doesn't CARE about you or your children. Otherwise she would not have gotten involved with a married man with children and a baby on the way.

She is young and stupid. Better not to give her a moment of your time.

Your OW is a 19 yr old ho who knows your H is married and does not care. Don't speak to ppl like that, hon. Instead, expose the affair to her parents.

I have no way of finding out who her parents are. I wish I could, but they don't live around here. I wish I could find out.

You always tell me the right things. In my head I know that you are right, then I think....why the hell would he leave me to assumably (spelling?) start something with someone who could give a crap about his kids! Then, I think about the abducted by aliens thing....lol.

What have you tried so far?

I've tried speaking with her boss and coworkers but of course no one can tell me anything. I'm getting ready to contact her ex boyfriend (the one that just broke up with her) on myspace and see if I can get any information from him. Any other suggestions?

Go to wwww.peoplefinder.com and www.zabasearch.com and do a search to see if her parents name comes up when you type in her name. If so, check directory assistance and get their phone #s. Call them up, disguising your # with *67, and ask if they are her parents. If they say no, ask if they are related. Tell them you are trying to get ahold of OW and need her parents #.

You know her last name, right? Did you check the phone book to see if you could find her parents?

I know her last name, but I'm not sure of the spelling. Her boss (or I should say ex boss) is my best friends mom, so I need to get that from her.

Does she have a cell phone or a landline? You might be able to get her name from doing a reverse lookup on www.anywho.com by putting in her #.

Ugh they just give me the location of where her parents live...which I already knew. *sigh* Unless I want to pay for the info, which I don't.

What do you mean? That should be all you need to get their phone # and address. Did you get that?

No, they just give the city that they live in.

ok............... Did you look up the phone # and address?

Are you saying the phone # and address are unlisted in the phone book? Which places did you check?

Well I just had a horrible blow out with my H who called because of the texts I sent to the OW. He says that I'm crazy and not emotionally ready to be in a relationship with anyone. The OW makes him feel good about himself and he enjoys spending time with her. He still insists that he is not sleeping with her and blah, blah, blah. I just feel like crap now. Nothing gets through to him and all he can say about how I feel is "I'm sorry". And he has re-written our marital history. It just seems hopeless. I really don't think that we are going to reconcile.

Why are you putting yourself through this?

You really need to stop talking to him until you are starting to feel better. OF COURSE he is calling you crazy - you are interfering with his AFFAIR. He is going according to the WS manual.

Hi, I am compelled to reply to your latest post!

Of course your WH is going to defend her...sickening, yes I know. Been there. I had a similar conversation with my WH except the OW was the one to try to call me then text me..it was all a set up. A set up that I fell for.

Don't text OW. I am only 27 and the OW just turned 20...and yes while I may be only 7 yrs older, her mind-set is very fresh. Don't call her, don't text her. I kept the text messages my WH and OW sent to me and now that I read them I felt like all of that was just a waste of my time.

The best thing in my opinion, which I have also done, is to contact her parents and tell them. That's what I did. Boy was I scared, but I did it and now they know, I believe almost everyone knows! Don't let them know you are going to do it or about to do it, JUST DO IT.

Of course he's going to say things like you're crazy and all that...he is trying to justify the fact that what he is doing is right.

IT IS NOT HOPELESS.

Be still, my friend. There's a reason for everything...the answers will come in time. Believe you will reconcile.

BUT...

right now I know it is hard to take the focus off of him, but you've gotta take care of yourself and your babies. I have been there...pregnant and taking care of my toddler. Have you gotten checked out for any STDs you may have? It's for the benefit of you and your child.

Keep your head up. Don't reason with your WH and the OW.

He called me again when he was out of her hearing (going to pick up something to eat for them) and was so nice saying that he didn't want to cold and heartless, but he doesn't feel that way for me anymore and never could again unless we were away from each other a looong loong time. See, we've had other issues. This isn't the first time he cheated and I cheated in hurt and retaliation (horrible I know!). I brought that up tonight too (my cheating). Because I had an emotional affair with a man on the internet and really thought I was in love with him and not in love with my husband. And my husband got angry when I brought this up! He said, "well that was physical and this isn't". Whatever. (Blah after I read that I feel like a total slut). Anyway, I told him that I woke up one day and was like WTH am I doing? I told him that I hope he wakes up before it's too late and he loses the best things in his life.

Your right I've got to stop talking to him, but I just want to hear his voice...it's awful. I'm a glutton for punishment.

Well I only found one number for a family with the same last name as hers in the town. I called, but it wasn't them. I need to find out if she lives with her mom and stepdad and maybe they have a different number.