(((((Queenie)))))

Hang in there girl...you are doing so well. Hopefully I can do as well as you. Heck, I haven't been in Plan B a day yet, haven't talked to WS in 48 hrs. and I miss him terribly. It is so hard....and I know, gotta get him outta my mind.....but that is SO much easier said than done. So now I will be looking to YOU for guidence....

Anyway, now that I am the one with some sleeping problems....lol..

anyway, you are doing great...adn I am with you..gotta think of something to do during those weekends...

not2fun

Hey there Not,

We can just hold each others hands through this time. It was hard at first. Actually not seeing him or talking to him wasn't as bad, but the NOT looking at his phone logs or the emails between him and YS really were the hardest. I still have a twinge, but not nearly as bad.

I spoke with the A today. Told him that WW didn't deposit the money again. He asked me if I had any idea what has set him off. I said, I might. And then went on to explain that I haven't had contact with him since March 17th at all. Therefore I am not keeping him abreast of what is going on in the children's lives. I told him about senior night and him seeing a family that is moving on and not just moving on, but healing and being happy and I think he is mad and taking it out on me.

He pretty much poopoo'd that. He took the liberty of drawing up another letter that went out today demanding he deposit the money by Wednesday or he would be summoned to court. I asked him about the cell phone and gym membership. He said wait until Wednesday and see then. To keep him posted.

Not, these are hard times for you and me and so many others. My spirit was pretty broken this weekend. But, so many on here kept with me, hit me with 2 x 4's and then let me wallow in it for a little while. I HATE this. I HATE who he has BECOME.

This is BEYOND just a M breaking up when someone completely abandons his children for a crack ho with hepatitis C. I am glad that the year of firsts is almost up. I made it.

I'm working hard to build a life without him. You can do this too. I know you don't want to, but you want your M. What if Plan B really is the only way to get them back home?

I'm here for you girl... I promise...

Hi Queenie,

Glad to see your 'spirit' is back on track....

It's OK to feel sad... because it IS a sad situation.... numerous needs are not being met.... how much more normal can you be?

....so the question is: what is it that you need?.... and what can YOU do about it, that is within YOUR CONTROL, given the boundaries you have set?

...to have WS wake up and come back is not an option, you see, because it's NOT up to YOU!

My spirit is back because G-d lives inside me and works through you all. And you all helped me through this or at the very least just walked with me. And sometimes that's just what we need, someone to hold our hand and keep putting that baby toe in front of the other.

NUMBEROUS NEEDS weren't met by WH for MANY MANY years. SF was my biggest one and I have to say that throughout our ENTIRE M he CONTROLLED it, WITHHELD it, and made me feel dirty in one fashion or another.

It was the lack of this needs that drove me to volunteer and figure out how to survive and feel like a human being.

I KNOW, but I don't know what I need. Can you help me figure it out?

I do nice things for myself, I take care of myself by getting a pedicure when there is money or my nails, I exercise, eat healthy, spoil myself by tanning. My goodness I get admiration and appreciation in my regular life way too much. I have my children and have independent time and recrational time.

My biggest EN is SF and I haven't had it for over 2 years NOW.... Any ideas.

Queenie,

I have been reading your posts to others for the past couple of days. All I can say is I am SO proud of you. You have learned SO much and come SO far and now you are sharing what you have learned to help others.

That is what I always thought this place was all about and though there have been a few tense and intimidating moments around here in recent months, you, Dear Queenie, have restored my faith in these forums.

You are going to not only be fine, Queenie; you will be great!

And others will be better for your experience and wisdom and compassion...

I am honored to know you, Queenie.

Mark

You sir, have truly touched my heart and soul with these words. But you and I both know, it's not me, it's G-d and his untiring patience in working in me and through all of you. What I give is only what was given so freely to me. This forum saved my life, and it's because of you and SO MANY OTHERS, who just kept walking with me along side G-d.

This is G-d's glory and G-ds work. How awesome for him is this. He must be smiling down right now on us.

Thank you for this gift of words....

And the honor of knowing you and walking with you through this is all mine. You are an inspiration and someone who has become very important to seek out for the wisdom. I love your words...

AMEN

Oh Mimi,

I am SO GRATEFUL to G-d for you. I remember the terror that one day when you told me to CALL him. I didn't think I could do it, and you HELPED me to do it anyway.

You touch lives that very few people take the time to do. Thank you....

I hope I get to meet you one day, face to face and truly hug you with all my love and respect for how you stuck with me.

And I'll say...

Amen

to this.

You know we might come here for the very worst thing in life. But like JT said so often, He will turn it into good. And he has. Because we get to glorify him by helping others and learning and growing as He wants us to.

Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. But the promises always happen if you work for them.

Hi Queenie
I read your stitch daily although I do not post often.You have such wonderful people helping you through this awful time.I REALLY admire the way you have stuck to plan B...I know how hard it is in the beginning...
Whatever happens at the end of all this,you can be very proud of yourself with everything you have accomplished..

Your self discipline is astounding..
I have been thinking about the positives in my life since this has happened and have realised its up to us to be in control of how this time affects us.I now make a conscious effort daily to not let WH get me down..very hard I know..
I won't let WH have that POWER or influence over my life...
WH is not the be all and end all of my life..won't allow it even if he came back!!

A quick question: Is a Plan B advised even if there was no actual 'affair'? There was pornography involved, and lied about, and to me (A Christian) it's almost the same thing.

Thank you

April Showers:

It is best to begin your own thread.

Hi Mimi, I have my own thread, but was just wondering if you all still talk about MB here at all, or not. Thanks!

((((Queenie)))))

hey girlfriend....I'm gonna T/J ya for a minute to call out our dear friend Mimi....

Mimi....I have started a new thread....got some comments for you on there...check it out....

jillyju

Gotcha....

It's OK for the WS to KNOW the PURPOSE OF PLAN B. That should have been clearly spelled out in the PLAN B LETTER...

Well D-day one year is here. So, the last of the first today. Whew... I'm glad that's over. I am actually doing great today, yesterday not so good. But it was a good day for G-d I think.

I tell ya, you certainly find out who your friends are through this time. And the ones I thought were my closest turn out to be the ones who have done me a great deal of damage. I know not intentionally, but in their world they hate seeing me hurt and don't understand what I am caught up in.

Which brings me to the days' thought. For some, you may think I am totally off the mark and for others maybe not so. One common theme throughout my journey since "my talk with G-d", was that this is a spiritual war that both WH and myself are involved in. I choose to live in G-ds world and fight for what is right and WH chooses to live in evil and sink lower.

I'm scared, I have to be honest. I am really beginning to grasp the depth of evil that my WH is caught up in. But I know there is NOTHING I can do, but pray and keep walking in G-ds path and will. I'm scared for me as well, because I'm tired and I am one who has such a dark past myself and I know Satan is just waiting around the corner for me.

I was given this book called Lord, Is it warfare, teach me to stand. I'm not sure where this is taking me, but today I feel strong to walk through today and fight evil as G-d needs me to.

Who else understands this and can offer their words to help make this more clear. I think that's what I am missing, clarity. I have to learn to seek the truth from G-d and I'm reaching out to you as one way because I trust you all so much.

Hi Queenie!

Sweetie, I know today is probably much more difficult than you have let on. I know,,,I think I did pretty much the same thing as you. Stood where I needed to stand for me, knowing it was the right thing for me even though it didn't make sense to anyone outside of a few on MB.

The pain is there, but we learn to deal with it. By God's Grace and our own determination, we stand for our marriages and for our husbands when they can not or will not. It matters not which, because our stance is about ourselves more than anything.

I 'get it".

Have you remembered recently to acknowledge what an amazing, wonderful woman you are? Don't forget to do that!!

Sorry I'm not posting much these days, but it's just no conducive to where I am in my life right now. I try to read a couple of times a week to keep up with threads/posters from my most active times here. I don't do much with newbies, as I don't know that I have a whole lot to offer them. To be totally honest, the pain of reading about new pain is often too much for me. That's incredibly selfish of me, as so many people here have helped me so so much. Someday I hope to be stronger so that I can hopefully be more help to others.

Keep up that Goddess attitude!!

Hang in there Queenie and rebuke Satan.

One of my favorite books is "This Present Darkness". It is a Christian book, and gives you a great picture of Satan and his demons. Whenever someone was depressed or tempted, the author would describe the demon hovering near, with slimey lips, grunting and waiting for the person to give in.

It gave me a wonderful word picture, and for YEARS afterward, when I was feeling down for whatever reason, I would envision the demon on my shoulder.

Just remember to feed your spirit and starve out the world.