HI everyone! Life is still pretty good around these parts! I have been having to deal with POWS alot of late! I had lunch with him today to discuss OS's failing of the state test which now requires him to attend summer school...if he passes summer school on to 4th grade, if not, Oh well...it's an immaturity thing and an "I don't want to attitude!"

This weekend both boys will be on garbage detail while at POWS...we're going back to shelter, food, and clothing for a while with them...YS is doing well in school, but at home has the "I can't, I don't want too, and it's not fair!" What else can you expect from a five year old...

POWS and I are doing well on the home front with the kids...standing firm and making decisions where they are concerned...we go to court on the 23th for the final D...

I dropped the BF, too much drama that I refuse to deal with...or should I say baggage...just decided to remove myself completely from that one...

New job is going well...been really busy...not as much stress as there once was...even with a huge audit going on...

All in all, life is good, peaceful...and I continue to focus on myself and take care of me...

I have my second trip planned to fly to South Carolina the day after court to visit a friend and I'm looking forward to that!

Well, i'm super tired today, heading to bed early...take care...

Rin,

I am doing a fly by.

I really have been crazy busy lately and haven't had a chance to check in on anyone. I am happy you are so close to your D you have handled the whole sitch with pride and dignity.

Remember part of the whole journey is fixing our picker. Glad you decided to check out on the new guy with all the drama.

sorry to hear about OS. This is a very tough time for them and the D will effect them.

Keep moving in the right direction!

I now have a new Son he is almost 4 months old. My M is actually better then ever.

The FWW tells me all the time how lucky she is to have me.

The other two kids are great too. I don't know when I will have time to check in again.

You take care of yourself and those two boys!!!

HI Frog! GREAT to hear from you! So happy that things are going so great! I would love to see that new son of yours!


Little update!
Well, tomorrow is the big day and my plate is full!

POWS filed a contempt on me about claiming the kids on my taxes, and well, I have the contempt on him for CS...so they wash out!

POWS's Attoney wants me to amend me taxes but there maybe a way around that, we have a few options...POWS gets to claim the kids every year but to remind everyone he was behind on CS, so I claimed them, which I had asked about several times and heard that it was okay...what they didn't tell me was that I had to have a court ruling to say that I could! Meanwhile, POWS has agreed to the garnishment from his check...and he's endanger of losing his job from what I heard...got demoted from his office position to his tools and he's not spending as much time as he should doing his work...missing a lot of time and "visiting" with other workers...

But tomorrow everything except community property should be done with....I have a full plate and an feeling nervous and anxious right now...OS with summer school, work (we just finished getting audited and there's a lot to do there!), my trip this weekend, POWS and I going 7 and 7 with the kids tomorrow also...

It just seems like I have a whole lot to do right now! Well, I'll check in later today!

Well, tomorrow's the big day and it's been a rough day for me...

I really do not like my lawyer...and once this is over, I will more than likely find another one for anything that I have to do in the future, considering that POWS and I's lawyer are right next door to each other and more than likely from what we hear they are best friends...

I'm not really up for explaining what has happened in detail with me claiming the kids on my taxes, and the court order, the contempts, and the IRS...long story but I caught POWS in another lie and that's just more evidence that I can only identify him as a deceitful, lying P.O.W.S. (piece of wayward $h)t) for you newbies reading....

It's been a rough two years, two months...I was changing my sig line a few minutes ago and noticed the time line...two years, two months from the time he confessed to the final D...

The great news is that D-day came and went this year and I didn't even notice it, that was until a few days later when I was reading my calendar with all of my appts. I had wrote it down...I had to call my best Friend and celebrate that I wasn't even sad, didn't notice it at all...

Tomorrow really just the show in front of the judge...yes, we've been separated the year, etc...two witnesses...okay it's done...all that time down the drain...not for nothing...but the end of one story and the beginning of something new...or at least that's what I keep telling myself...

On a note on POWS life, OW and him has been off an on since I left...and I ran across his MySpace...and it's private which it great as far as I'm concerned, but his message was "in love with someone who knows and will not let it move forward!"...well, come to find out if was her that he was talking about...

All that time I fought for my M, and was telling him what she was really like, it didn't matter...so take note...WS will believe whatever they want to believe...YOU are the problem, not what they are doing...they can't see it, won't see it...that's what Plan B is for...and it works...it really does...in my case, recovery was GREAT for me...I have a better life now in a lot of ways...

Of course, no one wants there M to end...I certainly didn't and sometimes, just sometimes...I wish things ended differently...but I have to believe that God has something better in store for me and the boys...

Well, I have to try to get some sleep...I hope that I can do exactly that...

I certainly appreciate all of the help that I have gotten here over the pass few years...especailly my personal growth...

Rin:

I hope that is goes well for you today.

The gavel drops and this chapter ends.

About the tax return filing....

Unfortunately, most lawyers know even less about the tax ramifications of divorce and who should claim what then they do about the law in general. What seems "fair" and "equitable" in divorce discussions, does not always translate into fair and equitable in the long run. Most attorneys just write up the document to state who claims what exemption each year. It is SO MUCH more complicated than that now.

POWS doesn't pay his CS? Oh well. You have to get a court injunction and have him served and many other steps. However, if you claim the boys and file your return, such a stink can be made with the IRS, etc. And with some of the credits available now, the credits can be worth more than the awarded child support on an annual basis. So, you can get screwed twice.

Sad really.

If its a year that your allowed to claim the boys, then make sure you file on January 15th, electronically. The IRS goes with who files first. They reject the second return that claims the same children. Then you two have to sort it out. It's a game of "Gotcha!" Propose to resolve this past year, but calculating the difference in your return with or without the boys, and then he does the same. Refund the difference in the taxes, either by reducing his back child support debt or a credit for a month or so. No reason to file amended returns, it just clutters the system.

You sound good.

LG

Rinderful...

Today is that day.

You were wondering what it would be like.

A symbol day.

All the love and support and connection brought you to here.

Actually, that's true for all of us.

And the journey continues.

LA

{{{{{{{{{RIN}}}}}}}}}

My prayers and thoughts are with you today.

I know how fine you will be......

HI ALL! WEll, It's done! And I feel great...I was going to say fine but I'm better than fine!

I actually woke up late and had 15 minutes to get the kids and I dressed and out the door and I did it DIVA style! Was actually at my attorney's office a few minutes early and had to wait on my lawyer...

I think we were in court 20 minutes and out of there...POWS has an income assignment now...his employer pays the state and the state pays me, regardless of whether he loses his job, I still get paid...as far me and the IRS...I'll wait for them to contact me and will deal with that when that bridge needs to be crossed...POWS could have gotten into more trouble for not paying me CS than me filing them on my taxes...so, he agreed really easy to the income assignment...all went smooth...even had more witnesses than we needed...

All we have is community property now...I had planned to go into work after court, but I'm doing a ME day...POWS is picking up the kids and they will be with him for the next 7 days...I may have to help get them to the sitter and school this coming week but that's no big deal...I can handle the morning and part of the co-parenting that POWS and I have been working on and that has been going better than expected of late!

I really didn't think that I would feel this good...perhaps I got it all out last night...I was a little sad...

I fly out tomorrow for a wonderful weekend...will be hitting two new states for me...I'm excited...have to be on the plane at 6am...

Thank you all for all of the support! I'm going to relax the rest of the day...I have a massage scheduled for 1pm today...and I will be taking advantage maybe even get my nails done...I've been wanting them for a while...

I'll check back in later...

(((((Rin))))))


Go treat yourself well today!

You deserve it. You sound VERY good and VERY strong.

My prayers with you and yours.

Thanks James! I appreciate you stopping by! I need to make the time to read up on some of you guys!

I usually just drop in and I'm out...my work hours have changed and I'm not really liking that but it does have it's benefits in other ways...

Every day is Diva day since the new job! I get to dress really nice and I get a massage AT least once a week! usually twice...for nothing at that! Got to love my job just for that perk! It is stressful dealing with federal money all the time and the deadlines, but I'm getting the hang of it...heck, I've only been there a almost two months and everyday is a learning day...I'm sure that will get better too! We're having that audit and having to backtrack and keep up...

Take care Rin!

Hey Rin,

You sound remarkable. Hope the DIVA day was awesome. Let's talk soon and catch up on things. Have a great week if you don't pop in.

Love, Queenie

HI, LG...I missed your reply early...and I hope that you read this...

I filed with the boys, early...from what I hear POWS filed and the IRS accepted his return only with a copy of the court order...he gets the dependence EVERY YEAR b/c of the law and what he provides in support, I didn't have a choice in the matter from what I was told...WELL...SUPPOSEDLY...the IRS will be contacting me...I'm just going to wait b/c from what I heard that could be six months to year(S)...that gives me plenty of time to save what I need...

I was pretty blown away when I heard about it, but after pulling one of the teachers out of class at our school and talking to her about it I felt better and like I said if and when I have to cross that bridge I'll do it then...it's all hearsay right now...

I really would like to tell you about it off MB...through an email or something...so that I can understand better what you are speaking about and tell a true picture...of course, with Flamingo's knowledge...nothing more intended...strictly this tax issue and the IRS...it does make me nervous...I've been saving up since POWS and I separated and as everyone knows I didn't have a dime until my next paycheck...I've busted my butt to get where I am today and that could be wiped out quickly with them...of course, I know that they will work with you and I could make payments if it comes down to it...

From what I understand he's not entitled to the EIC or the day care costs...so that makes a huge differnce in itself...

Thank you, I do feel good...I thought that today would be difficult but it hasn't been... I'll write a little more when I erply to Queen about how my day has gone...

HI Queen! Great to hear from you again so soon! Your support has been wonderful...perhaps I can remember to call you next week when I come back from my trip...LOL


I had a wonderful day! my massage therapist gave me some extra TLC today instead of an hour I got an hour and 40 minutes! I was in heaven, fell asleep, and was so happy when I got up! THen, I came home for a few minutes, then went to get my nails done...they are beautiful!!! I haven't had them done in a year or so...stopped an got a cup of coffee, my supper tonight! LOL...I know BAD BAD BAD! LOL...

Talked to POWS...he am the kids are off to visit his mom, six hours away...we are still trying to work out OS's summer school schedule with the 7 and 7...phone has rang a few more times...I've worked on my car a little bit...and I'm washing some clothes for my trip...phones still ringing...HUGE DIFFERENCE in life...too be cared about SOOOO much...to feel loved by so many people including you all here...WHEN I SAY THAT LIFE HAS GOTTEN BETTER, LIFE HAS GOTTEN BETTER!!!

Personally recovery for me has been amazing...I could joke about how I should have done this years ago...but not all of it was bad and there are things in my M that I will always treasure...I've grown up and learned a wealth of knowledge...it's been applying it that has been the struggle, but well worth it!

I was telling several of my friends today that the difference between being M'ed to POWS and now, it that I don't have to confront POWS when I know that he's lying today, I simply write it off...knowing that he does it and I'm done with it....verses having to prove that he lied all those years before...it simply doesn't matter...he is the way he is...I accept that and as far as a relationship with him in the same capacity that that we had is unacceptable to me...my standards have been raised and I don't believe everything that he says as my truth anymore...

I treat myself as a DIVA...take care of myself first...respect and honor myself...hold firm to my beliefs...can people change? ABSOLUTELY!!! I did, BUT you have to want to want it! You ahve to want it SO bad that you can taste it! A WS who doesn't want it that bad will only fence sit for as long as you will allow him too! So, when someone talks about NC letters, and actions speaking louder than words, you can certainly tell the difference in respect to them being remorseful!

Wishing everyone who reads this the best...in whatever sitch you are in!

Hey Rin,

I'm thinking about ya girl. How are you doing? How's the new job going?

{{{{{{{Rin}}}}}}

I'm doing fairly okay! Work has been interesting and ome life well interesting too!

POWS has to have surgery and will be finding that out tomorrow when that will be....

It's been pretty stressful to be honest...I came to check on something here tonight and saw that you posted...

I'm not really up for talking about myself here! I'll have to call you! LOL...perhaps you have gained enough knowledge an wisdom to advice me....

LOL...no, I just need to take a little better care of myself and relax and rest a little...I have a horrible sunburn, well, I'm starting to peel now...but I have a lot on my plate and I know that this too shall pass and everything that I need to do to make things better it's the doing part that, the follow through that needs to happen...

Hi, MEDC if you are out there...I miss you, hope that things are going well for you and same to you James...

I miss all of you...I wish things would slow down a little in my life! LOL

Take care and best wishes to all! Hi, SL! ANd BC, if you two are still around...

I'm looking forward to catching up with you and life.

My middle one graduates one week from tonight. How flipping cool is that....

((((((Rin))))))

Glad to see you're still around.

Life being a bit busy isn't all bad, keeps us occupied and at the very least we can go to bed feeling like we've accomplished something at the end of a busy day.. even if tomorrow looks like more of the same.

Been missin you around here, but believe me I totally understand the need to get away from the reminders and sometimes our personal struggles are enough that we really don't have the capacity to take on others' as well for periods of time.

Been keeping you in my prayers, and continuing to hope all is well.

Hi guys! Queen that's awesome...James I hear you man...

I'm actually feeling pretty low today and last ngith...I have had a lot of interaction with POWS the last two weeks with the 7 and 7, surgery, OS with summer school, court, etc...and it really hit me last night...

OW called when he was in my presence and I just wanted to lash out at him, I did speak my mind and the look on his face was so sad and all he did was apologize, offered to stay away, and out of my life, which I gladly accepted...left like a dog with his tail between his legs...saying he sorry he is and that he never wanted to hurt me, etc...I got to say that I felt she was the main reason for the breakup of the M in my eyes...which of course, he doesn't see and I told him that everything that he has done to me will happen to him...it already has and he will not admit to it...OW has cheated on him and his heart has been broken but he will not admit that to me! Then, he would have to say that I was right...I don't have to hear it from his mouth...I got to read it in his handwriting, which he doesn't know about and that actually gave me some peace...that was last week...

I was going to help him out with the surgery...drive him to it and back home b/c he has no other family here, but I told him last night that I CAN'T...he will have to find someone else to help him out, which he said that was fine...I said just to let me know what I could do for him in regards to keeping the kids...

My heart is hurting today...I'm off balance and very teary eyed...trying to make it through the day...focus on work and what "I" need to do...a guess it's a more of the grieving process still...

We have spent a lot of time together in the past few weeks trying to clear things up...the truck will be out of my name soon, paperwork all complete and ONE phone call from HER and it screwed up that peaceful relationship we were developing to get things done...trying to settle things with the community property may be easier then it once was...

So I still have to communicate with him about some stuff, but I think that I'm just going to do it less often then the past few weeks...make a list and then call, instead of calling per item...that will give me more distance than I had before and less chance to be where I am today...

I'll be okay, perhaps it was exactly what I needed, the opportunity to speak my peace to him instead of holding it inside...more letting go because i know that he can't give me what I need...can't love me the way that I have loved him...and I deserve the best and he has nothing but less than that to offer...tiny little reminders along the way to keep me with the goal of expecting nothing but the best...

Well, i have to get back to work...tonight I have to go pick up my new cell phone...I am excited about that and I did almost finish the yard, which I'm happy about too...some things on my to do list are being knocked off, that is a plus...

have a great day from the teary eyed bayou gal...

Must be the week (or two) for triggers.

((((Rin))))

FWIW I think you're handling your situation remarkably well all things considered.

I can only hope I will handle things so well in the future.

Not too much to add, other than I'm very sorry you're hurting, but also very glad to see that you are applying the 'hurt' in a way that will help you heal. More of the old concept of what man intended to harm, God has used for good.

Thinkin 'bout ya.

I hear ya, Rin.

With DS's birthday, and illness, and daycare info and such being passed around left and right between me and PWC, I am ready for a break in the emailing. I get what you are saying, except I only SAW PWC on DS's birthday for about 2 hours. it was good to get thru that.

Onward and upward, Rin. This will pass. I think it is a really good idea to build up info to talk about, line item by line item, instead of piecing it out over phone calls, emails, texts, etc.

(((Rin)))