Ok, sleep well. Talk to you tomorrow.

Mimi,

Are you here?

SL, they took away the Calling Mimi thread?

That's it for me, Queenie!

I made a vow to myself to no longer be disrespected.

I was going to stay but that was the last straw.

WE WILL DEFINITELY KEEP IN TOUCH.

EMAIL me as often as you like and I will be sure to respond to ya..

{{{{{{{{{{{{Mimi}}}}}}}} I know we will be in touch and in each others lives. For that I am certain, because we fight the same fight and understand. You still have much to teach me girl... So you aren't out of the woods yet.

I don't know what's going on, but it is weird and unsettling.

But we are stronger together and Marriagebuilding is why we are here. I for one won't let them lose my focus.....

And now my dark Plan B.....

I think you all will be very proud of me for not freakin out and staying in G-d over the money deal. I'm a little nervous, but as Mimi taught me, have FAITH....

Well, poop! YEah, I saw the calling Mimi thread disappear. I was the final poster to that thread and think I said something to close it, about respect and tone. Don't want to get your thread erased, Queenie, so I won't post it here. Let's just say I didn't agree with how this has been handled.

Hey Mimi,

Let's talk weight loss. You stand by Weight Watchers. For someone who is broke and needing to eat cheap, real cheap. What options do you think I could do?

Hey Queenie!

What's happening?

For me, I never tried Weight Watchers or any of the 'programs'. The only big success I've had with weight loss was called Protein Power - which is an Atkins-like diet. I lost 20 pounds. When I went off it, I only gained 5 back. Shortly after I got pregnant with DD and gained again,,,,,but it was worth it!

I know it will sound like an FDA add, but I've found that a low fat, balanced diet with lots of fresh produce with daily exercise to be the best long term solution for me. It's not always easy to do,,,,and I often fail for weeks/months at a time, but it does work for me.

Plus, I find when I take the time to exercise, it also gives me some good quiet time mentally & emotionally. I use that time to read, or pray, or just to go blank on the mental front. THAT refreshes me sometimes more than the physical exercise.

What have you tried?

i don't know anything about it but, at my last ww meeting, someone mentioned a site called sparkpeople dot com

wanna check it out and report?

This is a GREAT SITE!

Dotti's Weight Loss Zone

Thanks Mimi and Cinder... I will check them both out tonight when I get home from my AA meeting.

Well Bugs,

I have lost 87 lbs, and gained almost 10 back and I can't seem to get on the path to losing again. I'm not willing to give up, because I feel so much better. So I am looking at options of how to establish a eating plan, but understanding that with my new money problems, I have to be careful what I choose.

It really is about eating less and exercising more, but my body lost it all so fast I am trying to jump start it a little.

I did the WW core program online (no meeting, but weekly tallies of weight loss to track you), which consisted mostly of lean meats in servings the size of your fist and as much fruit and veggies you can eat. I ate lots of eggs, avacado, baked potato, some bread, lots of fruit, cut out processed foods and sugars. The CORE program allowed raw sugar/unprocesed sugar in small doses. With CORE you were allowed 'points' for EXTRAS. I used mine for a nice glass or two of wine or pie/cake/sweets. If you saved up all your points, you could enjoy takeout or a nice dinner out every week. OH, and one big thing was cutting down on sodium, which I still do. Using Sea salt or Kosher salt in small doses, and cutting out high sodium in cooking.

I didn't do any exercise due to the neck issues and weakness I was having. If I had, I probably would have incorporated a bit more protein in the diet, so that I wasn't ravenous after a workout.

I did pretty well. I lost about 20 lbs in 2.5 months. I stopped mostly due to surgery. I've hovered around 2-5 pounds heavier since I quit dieting. I eat small bits of everything that I want, keeping portions to a more normal scale.

I don't know if I'll go back on a structured plan to lose more weight. I think adding exercise to build the lean muscle would go a long way to helping me find the shape that I want.

Anyway, that was my experience with WW.

Be patient! That's a lot to have lost and your body needs time to adjust.

It is TOTALLY normal to plateau during any amount of weight loss.

You didn't gain weight overnight, it's not going to keep coming off overnight. The infidelity diet only carries us so far. And, remember that the mental/emotional part of what's been happening plays a HUGH part in our physical well being.

I fluxuate about 8 pounds from my low on the infidelity diet. Up and down, Up and down. I know if I'd get back to eating better and exercising, I'd get over that hurdle and back on the losing side of it. But, I'm not there right now.

I feel good that I enjoy food again! It's hard for me, in that I cook for myself and a 7 year old! I don't know how to do that very well, so I find myself taking the EASY route more often than the HEALTHY route. I'll get back there soon.

I love summer with all of the better FRESH food choices,,,because they are more fresh and they are much less expensive 'in season'.

I'm headed off to my bubble bath.

Night!

Thanks SL and Bugs,

One of the things that I had done since D-day was make take sugar almost entirely out of my diet. I seemed to almost drop weight and my food was much easier.

I don't know what seems to be shifting, but food is tasting better to me as well and I need to be careful. I enjoy being thinner and really want to lose the rest.

Your right Bugs, my body needs to adjust to this and I have to remember it's a lifetime eating plan, not a diet. So that's where looking at all options and praying on the best choice for me.


I have to admit, I sure did like the infidelity diet. I dropped almost 60 lbs.... Not really, but you get what I mean.

I find myself hungrier lately and not being satisfied like before, but part of that is I am not feeing me and the kids as well because of finances and I have to be extra careful about that.

Ah.... off to my meeting... Praying for a good topic tonight.

WH deposited 200.00 into my account today. Certainly not what I need, but I can at least by groceries and gas for the kids....

And get my tabs renewed.

Yay, It's about time!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm grateful for what he gave me, but it's not enough. I am just leaving it in G-ds hands.

G-ds hands, I remember last year at this time driving around aimlessly devastated, in shock and have no idea what to do or what had been happening.

The man I trusted with every part of my being, not only had been having an affair for over a year, but he was leaving because he wanted something more than his best friend. How you all know that feeling of what is going on here, am I crazy, please make this stop and go away. How about if I just go away.

Our M had so many ups and downs, but it didn't deserve this ending, not so many years of comittment and love because above all else, I knew that we loved each other so much.

I have learned so much in this year, about myself, about affairs and about life. But what I have learned most is that no matter how alone I feel, and I really feel alone today, G-d is there with me, holding me up, pushing me forward or tugging me along.

Obviously after a year, the intial shock has worn off, I have made remarkable and wonderful changes in myself and have held together my family as best as possible. I have recovered myself as a person and yet there are days when I start thinking about that year of his affair and it literally drives me insane right now.

So I shake my head and pray for the stinkin thinkin to go away and then the drove of deep sadness takes over because of all that is destroyed and lost and there isn't a darn thing I can do to fix it or make it better.

They say that grief comes in waves and you just have to ride it. But you know, I would just like for it to take me out to sea and stop the sadness inside of me. In Judaism, my H stepped on glass when we renewed our vows under the chupah, shattering it into hundreds of pieces. The good luck to that is that may that be basically be the only thing broken in your M. Actually I really don't think that is the correct analogy, I think it has to do with may that glass be the only beyond repair in our M. Well, it wasn't, my heart has been shattered into thousands of pieces and I'm trying so hard to put them back together, but time just takes time and I'm so just there today.

I'll recover because you have all taught me I can and will someday, and maybe one day I'll even really be happy inside and truly be healed, but for today, when I can only try and dig out the memories of the betrayal of him taking her on a weekend away from home, or lying to me that he couldn't trust me and I'm not safe to him, just simply hurt and I'll ride the wave because it's sunny outside, but my heart is broken and I want the pain and sadness to just go away.

I'm not special, I am a woman of G-d, but those of you on here, know this deep pain and feel it just like me and right now my heart and soul is praying for your healing as I do mine.

I hope you are having a very blessed day.

Me too, Queenie..not DAYS..but MOMENTS...

It's a MAJOR TRAUMA..I don't know if those HORRIFIC MEMORIES will ever go away...

I keep trying to BUILD zillions of POSITIVE memories to make the HORRORS fade away..


GOOD STUFF!! GREAT GROWTH!! Yes...WE are POWERLESS..


Yes you are SPECIAL, Queenie...You touch my heart when I read your words...

Try to start BUILDING NEW SPECIAL MEMORIES for YOURSELF...

Places you want to go..things you want to learn how to do...books you want to read..KWIM??

Hi Queenie,

In the Books of the Kings (2 Kings 4) we read about a widow of one of the company of the prophets. There were those who worked with the prophets and actually studied to be a mouthpiece for God. One of these men had a wife and since he had died, she was in now debt and her creditor was coming to take her sons away as slaves.

The prophet (Elisha) asked her what she had in the house. She said.."There is nothing there at all..except for a little oil."

Elisha told her to go ask the neighbors for containers and not just a few and then to go inside and pour oil from her little jar into each one and when they were each filled to set it aside and move on to the next one.

The widow did as she was told and filled many jars with oil. As the last jar filled she told her son to give her another and when he said it was the last, the oil stopped flowing.

In order to act on our behalf, the first thing God asks is "What do you have?" He doesn't ask for something special or unique only for what we have. But the thing is, He expects us to give it all to Him for His use. We can't hold any of it back from Him. We are to give it all.

Then, God only begins to work and do those things we can't do after we have done what we can. He sent the woman and her sons to ask the neighbors for empty jars. The more they gathered, the greater the blessing, but they didn't know that the jars would be related to the blessing at first. It wasn't until they were all filled with enough oil to sell to pay off the debts and have enough left to live on that she and her sons knew that the jars were directly related to what God had in store for them.

But still, God only does what we cannot. He expects us to do what we can and then to let Him do the part we cannot do on our own. The trick is to know the difference.

A third lesson is that while none of her neighbors had enough money to give to this woman to pay off her debts, each of them gave only a few empty jars and yet God was able to use what they could give, empty jars, to use for His purpose to save the widow's sons from slavery.

Each of us gives what we can to help others. God can and does use that to help you and many others here on MB. He expects each of us to do what we can and He does what we cannot. And when he asks what we have, it isn't to take it away from us, but to use it to bless us if we will let Him have it to use as He wants it used.

All He is asking from you Queenie is to give over to Him what you have. You don't need anything special or expensive, but He wants you to just let Him take charge of it.

Then, He expects you to do the best you can and do what you can. But He doesn't expect you to do more than that, only what you can do. Then He will do what you cannot.

And just keep asking for help from all your neighbors. No one can give you all you need, but by taking what each of us can offer and turning it over to God to use, He will create a blessing that will not only take care of today's problems, but the future as well.


And remember that you too, Queenie, have much to give. Continue to give to others what you can give and let God do the miracle with what seems so small.

That we all could be empty jars...

Shalom!

Mark

Queenie,

You said exactly what I would have said today. (((Queenie))))

Why does the depression take hold of us? It comes from out of the blue. Last week I hated my WH, this week I'm depressed again and the pain of the broken heart rears its ugly head again. The depth of the betrayal by someone that we trusted with our hearts and our life is just too much some days. There are days where I wonder if Plan B was a mistake. My WH looked at it as punishment and it drove him to OP I believe.

I too wish the pain would go away. I keep talking to God like you told me to do, but I just haven't gotten an answer yet. Maybe I just don't know how to interpret it or just don't recognize it. Sometimes I don't think I'll ever heal.

Anyway, my thoughts are with you Queenie, and we'll walk this together.