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I think that most affairs end and the real spouse (whatever that was) comes back. But when they had the affair, they took the chance that their spouse would no longer be interested.
It is unfortunate that many leave MB and don't report back when the affair ends. They have moved on with their life.
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To say that people can't change would undermine a great deal of what is said on MB. Throughout most of our lives, events happen that have a major impact on us - death of a loved one, affairs, natural disasters. I believe it is possible to change. But you've got to want it.
Hopefully, you'll see the man you fell in love with some time in the future. Regardless of your feelings for him now, it's always a good thing to see remorse IMO.
Take care, TT
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Queen: Another One Bites The Dust Steve walks warily down the street, With the brim pulled way down low Ain’t no sound but the sound of his feet, Machine guns ready to go Are you ready, are you ready for this Are you hanging on the edge of your seat Out of the doorway the bullets rip To the sound of the beat Another one bites the dust Another one bites the dust And another one gone, and another one gone Another one bites the dust Hey, I’m gonna get you too Another one bites the dust How do you think I’m going to get along, Without you, when you’re gone You took me for everything that I had, And kicked me out on my own Are you happy, are you satisfied How long can you stand the heat Out of the doorway the bullets rip To the sound of the beat Chorus - Another one bites the dust Another one bites the dust Another one bites the dust Another one bites the dust There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man And bring him to the ground You can beat him You can cheat him You can treat him bad and leave him When he’s down But I’m ready, yes I’m ready for you I’m standing on my own two feet Out of the doorway the bullets rip Repeating the sound of the beat
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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mlhb, The good old vicarious Southern Fried, smothered in mushroom milk gravy..... G L O A T ! ! !I know, it's crude to eat by yourself, so I just put a large helping out there for all to nibble on if they're the teensie bit hungry or raveonous for rate gloat. Anybody know where I can shoot another rare mountain gloat?  Ima gonna break out some suthern rednekkedness... Ya see...My wounds are still fresh... and I'd have to say GLOAT ! SMILE LIKE A [censored] EATING BRIARS THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM... Don't say anything... just smile alot... If I were you ... I'd go out of my way to make sure he knew how much he threw away for that POS woman... You should make sure you look like an absolute goddess the next time he sees you.... As a matter of fact ... everytime he sees you... Make sure you wear some of that perfume that you can smell for a mile... (I call it sl*t juice) you know... the kind that lingers in the elevator for an hour after you use it... Then about the time he's salivating real good for you... Introduce him to your new boyfriend.... LOL.... I'm a mean b*stard like that... MLHB... I'm just trying to lighten your mood... I know you're angry that he wasted everything that was good in his life for a POS Wh*re. Maybe just thinking of new ways to gloat will be good for ya.... You don't really have to carry them out though.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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he threw it away over MANY piece of sh*t wh*res.
she was not the only one.
she was just the longest and the one he lived with and the love of his life yea know?
so, do i expect him to change? no i don't. shortly after he and i married i saw things about him, beyond just the affairs, that i believe are truly who he is. he has ALWAYS been a very angry man. this stems from childhood. he has some very deep seeded issues that need to be addressed in therapy that he would never do. i lived with his verbal anger for years before he ever screwed another woman. the man i fell in love with was not real in my opinion. and i only knew him a short time before we married (my stupidity).
now, i do hope that maybe we can get along better for the sake of the kids because ow made doing that very difficult. she was extremely jealous of me still being in his life because of the kids. he will always have that tie with me. i always said, "then you shouldn't have gotten involved with a married man with kids because i am always going to be a part of his life in that way".
she was CONSTANTLY interfering and it made it very hard for ex and i to get along at all. maybe, just maybe, we can a little better now.
what makes me mad is that my kids were involved with this woman. my son saw her with this new guy while my ex was down south for military training. what does this teach them? my dd and i talked about it last night and she said "well, now daddy knows how it feels". i said yes, and we also talked about how NOT worth it it was for daddy to have that affair, or any at all for that matter, because now he has nothing.
i am sure he is doing some thinking, and i am sure his parents, who were always good to me, have been talking to him as well.
will i ever get remorse from him? i doubt it, but maybe. it will take a TRUE intervention from GOD for that to happen though. i have always prayed for ex and will continue to do so for the sake of my children. i have prayed that god's will would be done in his life no matter what that took. it would be nice to see him turn back to god.
i will be interested to see what transpires in the days ahead.
pariah, i'll let you do the gloating for me.. knew i could count on you for that!
*** i felt like i should have my head examined yesterday because i actually felt bad when i was told he had no where to stay. i actually said that if he and i had a better relationship i would let him sleep on the couch here until he does. that's messed up***
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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it will take a TRUE intervention from GOD for that to happen though. i have always prayed for ex and will continue to do so for the sake of my children. i have prayed that god's will would be done in his life no matter what that took. it would be nice to see him turn back to god. That may be exactly what needs to happen. He may need to be touched by God... Miricles do happen.... leave it in God's hands....
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Michelle... funny thing is no sooner than this relationship is over he will probably move onto the next one and the next one and the next one....That seems to be my ex's pattern... he said when he left he wasn't happy I didn't treat him right - he didn't want to be married and tied down he wanted to have fun - blah blah blah - this all after being together for close to 20 years and well being married for 15 years and having two beautiful daughters -he wanted to be a kid again - party no responsibilities... whatever.. he was with the other woman for a couple of years.. I pretty much consider her the demise of my marriage but you know what if not for her than I am sure it would have been someone else - because since they broke up there have been numerous other woman - now he is with this lady who is a nurse - very stable hardly drinks etc... polar opposite of him...and he tells me maybe he is looking for stability - ummm I think you had it with the wife - two kids - house - life - then he threw it all away..... sad but true... but I guess what I am trying to say is - you can feel upset - sad or whatever but it boils down to he is not worth your emotions.... I still five years later tend to get caught up in it - and believe me it isn't worth it...... he chose his life - let him live it.... Your kids will adjust to anything - they have you....
Trying to Let myself find a life after four years of being divorced - Great at the mom thing.. Just not good at the "ME" thing....
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i now understand truly that the majority of affairs do end ...and also that we BS at times tend to share the same feelings......sadness.
It took awhile though to understand why, then i think i figured it out..... it has to do with latent love. the care and concern you have developed over the years from a GENUINE love. TRUE love.
We may never go back to them (unless it is God's will) but we can never hate them (well probably for what they put our kids thru).
It also means we have matured.....
Nuff Luv, God bless....
oh yes.....GREETINGS FROM SUNNY JAMAICA, have a cool drink and some jerk chicken on the house! ... then take a walk on the beach. (Now where exactly did i park the Honda?)
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hmmm.. I don't know if MOST affairs do end. Some do, some don't. Especially LTA's... But, this one apparently did. She is young and foolish so why he thought she would be any different with him then she was with her own husband, who knows?
I guess I just figured he was willing to risk and awful lot for her. He was willing to DEVASTATE her brand new husband. He was willing to give up his kids, etc, for her. I figured that meant something.
I don't know that I had true love with him. I think I was very young and so was he and we hardly knew each other. I can remember times of feeling love for him, some good and happy times. But the majority of the time was not fun and nice.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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It's his loss MLHB...and what a loss! He's not gonna find another hottie like you! 
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oh, such a flirt you are MEDC! so, when do i get a ride on that boat of yours huh? mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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mlhb.....
What a waste and such a shame.....but YOU can look up because you came through all of this better than before. You recovered. And while, yes, all was for nothing, you shouldn't waste any more energy over spilt milk.....
not2fun
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and you never did tell me where the bat key was either!  hehe bet it's on your boat somewhere...... mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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nope, he spilled the milk, let HIM clean it up!
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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nope, he spilled the milk, let HIM clean it up!
mlhb ROTFLMAO.....YOU said it sista...... 
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I'm not telling until...yet. As for my boat...you have a standing invitation. I would bet the key is on board somewhere.
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Make him come pick you up in the Batmobile mlhb! We want a full report on the batcave too!  Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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***note to self: standing boat ride invitation... hottest month of the year: AUGUST... could work on my tan, find the bat key, etc etc etc... *** hehehe Mr. Extremely Darn Cute!  mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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maybe it's a "batboat" Mrs. W. LOL
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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maybe it's a "batboat" Mrs. W. LOL
mlhb DREAM BIG: The BatYACHT! Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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