Hi Miss Mimi,

I hope you had a spectacular day with your H and enjoyed your dinner out.

I was personally out for the entire day and it was nice. I felt a little guilty being away from my boys, but they were occupied for most of the day, so it was ok....

Your hand feels safe and warm. Thank you for the journey.

I talked with the A today. I was correct in imagining why WH is witholding the money. I don't know whether to be glad or whatever. Anyways, he was counting on the money from the sale of the house, got behind on his bills and used his paycheck to pay off the bills knowing that the money was coming in. He didn't learn about the sale of the house falling through until it was too late and he already used up the money and was going to pay me back. Problem is another two weeks went by and he didn't give me money again. I mentioned to my A that I didn't think it was MY PROBLEM to tell WH that the sale hadn't gone through. It's his life and he has to be responsible in it. A agreed.

So, A is going to call him and shake him up. He already has mentioned to him that he will garnish his wages. He isn't opposed to doing that, and I explained that I felt like I was being reasonable in all this, but that it didn't seem fair that I was suffering the consequences of his choices and that I didn't want to have to worry about money every two weeks. My A agreed. I reiterated how WH has not ONCE taken the children, I have done all that I have done to walk through this year and that this on top of everything was too much for me. His kids still needed to eat. Blah... Blah....

I also explained to the A that I loved my husband and wanted him to come home and build a new M and that it was my WH who wouldn't even give me a chance.

One thing that the A said was the WH doesn't seem like a man in charge of his life, in fact that he is in complete reaction rather than action. He said that he really didn't think that WH even knew where to go to the bathroom next.

So, A is going to call him, demand payment or take him to court to garnish his wages. It's weird... I'm very calm.

You know I want to ask, what could be happening? But I'm trying not to.

Queenie,

I'm actually on vacation, but since it's raining and cold outside, I decided to stop in and catch up on things here.

You are handling things amaziningly well. Your strength is an inspiration to many that might never post a word to you. Keep up the good work and go do something for yourself when you get the chance.

Hang in there, Queenie. You will one day be able to look back on this day and see how far you have come. And then, you will be able to smile knowing that you fought a good fight and remained faithful to your own values and to God in spite of all that has gone on.

Let the lawyers handle the legal stuff and you take care of yourself and the boys.

Mark

Hey Mark,

Where's vacation? Must be the PNW with rain and all. I sure hope you are having a good time.

Thank you Mark, it really means a lot to me what you are saying. I am working so hard to make G-d proud and have FAITH in me.

Any strength I have comes from G-d who worked through you and so many others and I don't take that for granted one bit. Without a doubt this journey has been a rollercoaster that I don't want to ride anymore, but I keep seeking G-d and telling him Heinini, here I am G-d.

And for this control freak, sometimes fighting is just being still. UGH.. But a good lesson nonetheless.

So, WH deposited 32.00 out of 1400.00. How's that working for all of you? What's more unbelievable is I just refuse to get into the drama. My spirits are good today, because G-d is being gracious on my soul today.

(((((Queenie))))))

I am so incrediably glad to hear this. Now, whenever you get down about yourself, re-read this post of yours. Look and see how much you have changed and how well you are handling things.

I absolutely LOVED your post on finding the goals you had set for yourself last year. What a neat idea. I bet it was even more fun to see how much you HAVE grown. Girl, I haven't known you that long, but I am so proud of you...... .

Your A's quote on WS beign reaction instead of action....that is so true. Something everyone could learn from. If anything, between your A and WS BF, it sounds like he is having trouble dealing with the life he has built for himself. So you know what that means?/??

Keep up with your changes and making yourself and your home a safe place for WS to return to. You are doing great so far.....the inner GODDESS in you is shining (in fact, if I look out my window, I think I can see you from here..... ;)).

Anyway, sorry I haven't been around or in touch these last few days, just trying to keep on that "narrow" path of recovery......

((((queenie))))

love ya honey......

not2fun

No, I don't know what that means. He is doing whatever he is doing. I have no clue.

He told the A he would deposit money and it was 32.00. So I called the A today and asked him when I can be done with this. It's been over a month now, three paychecks and I'm tired of his games. A told me he feels that WH is sincere, but now I have to wonder, which I am not willing to go to. So, I asked him to go after him legally if this doesn't get resolved. I'm so done. I think I have been reasonable enough, but it's not my problem that he spent money he didn't have. It's not my problem he is having bill trouble. His kids still want to eat, I still need to take them to the dr.

BUT I WON'T BREAK PLAN B.....

Hey Not, I really miss you, but I'm glad that things are going good for you and you are keeping on the narrow path of recovery.

GOOD FOR YOU, QUEENIE!! I love your STRENGTH, now!!

You go, girl!

I am so proud of you, Queenie. You truly are a beautiful woman, a woman of strength, confidence, and character.

You may not be able to admit that yet. But it is the truth.

I just have been afraid to let my anger out for fear it will override all my hard work.

But geez, this is ridiculous. A woman can be pushed so far before it's just WRONG, and this MONEY stuff is just not cool. He CHOSE. He LEFT. HE ABANDONED. I have been gracious, taking more than my fair share of the blame, made changes that I wanted to make, secretly hoping it would make a difference and he would come home.

I have had to learn I am NOT GARBAGE and worthy of a life that isn't GUTTER. And all the while I have raised HIS CHILDREN all by myself.

I truly love my H, but enough really is enough. 32.00 won't even fill up the gas to get the boys two and from the drs, school, etc.

And him saying he is taking care of it.. That's what he always says and didn't. That's what frustrated me so in our M....

So, yes, I'm mad and trying to be reasonable and fight for my children.

I set him free to live his life of happiness with the woman he loves. But I am here raising those children we MADE TOGETHER. And he is going to help pay for it.

He has pushed me too far on this one.

I'm sorry for ranting....

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Queenie, you are an inspiration to many.

You know, a woman is like a teabag!!!

Queenie is woman hear her ROAR

Well it's about DING DANG TIME! Good rant, BTW.

Try to capture this and remember who you are dealing with TODAY; not who you WISH you were dealing with, or who WH SHOULD be. He is who he is.

$32! I can't fill up the tank in my car with that these days. It's financially tough going for me WITH the payments. I only have the one kid, too. Whew.

Carry on Queenie...

Teabag eh? I guess it would have to be cinnamon today....

Wow Pep, I don't think you ever have posted to me before. And to think it took me getting MAD......

Alright.... I'm roaring... But I'm PROTECTING my CHILDREN...

Don't be SORRY!! WE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!! I surely do!!

mad? - no - that's not it at all

I think you are flexing your womanly muscles - it's very attractive and I like seeing it

Pep

I concur.

Anger is natural and good and can guide you in the right direction. Venting and letting it go is healthy. Taking action is good. Nobody is mad at you. NO way.

And MINE our 18 1/2 and 15. They EAT ALOT.. They need BIG SHOES... What a slap in my face. I might take mental abuse, but not physical. At least I feel that one once it hits.

Thanks Mimi and Pep,

I'm flexing my SPIRIT, the one G-d gave me when I came into this world and twisted it to make everyone ELSE happy and let it almost die. I don't know if I would say attractive, but it's full of life and hope for a bright new future.

I love my H, I so want him to come home and build a new marriage; however, he is making HIS choices and I am ACTING on them, not reacting. I WILL NOT LET HIM HURT MY BABIES or take ANYTHING from them..... Not so HE CAN BE HAPPY.

Queenie

Sing it baby!! I'm doing the happy dance.

GO GET 'EM GIRL!!!!

Smartie

I love you Smartie, Are you at work? I would LOVE to call you.

[quote=QueeniesNewLife
I have had to learn I am NOT GARBAGE and worthy of a life that isn't GUTTER. And all the while I have raised HIS CHILDREN all by myself.

I'm sorry for ranting.... [/quote]


(((((QUEENIE))))))


OH HONEY.....(and yes I called YOU HONEY.... ;))....that's what we've been telling you all along....

And honey RANT AND RAVE all you want.....your confidence and strength are showing....and honey, its BEAUTIFUL.....

Your are on a totally different path than last week. GOOD. I am so happy for you.

Hang in there, and yes, remember YOU DID NOT CHOOSE this....WS put you in this position WITHOUT asking if you wanted it.....

love ya honey.....

not2fun