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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 25
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 25 |
my wife was already 4 mnths pregnant and ended at 8 mnths (long story, several D days, huge withdrawal, same foggy alien overtaking my wife's body, a complete cookie cutter episode and characterisitics..etc.) when the affair started. I have proof which makes this so screwed up. My wife can not believe how she did what she did. We have been in recovery for the last 4 mnths and our baby girl who we both adore more than anything is about 5 mnths old.
Now my question is whether pregnancy had anything to do with her dumb actions?....I have heard of women going nuts during this time, some have severe depression, crazy acting hormones where the whole world feels nasty. Would the ladies on this site have any insight whether this could be a part (ofcourse she did it and is responsible for this devastating act)of the problem?
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 2,531 |
Sorry, no advise to offer but what kind of SICKO would have an A with a married PREGNANT woman???!!!! Just when I thought I'd heard everything  !
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,164
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,164 |
Suggest you get the baby DNA tested to make sure she's yours. The affair may have been going on longer than your WW has admitted to.
Also, has your WW had an STD screen? She may have had unprotected sex on the (faulty) reasoning that she's already pregnant.
Do you have other children?
Me - 44
DW - 39
Married 16 years
DS10
DS6
DD4
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 514
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 514 |
Sorry the only craziness that my pregnancy hormones induced did the opposite of having an A. All I wanted to do was prepare my home and my life for my new baby. I stayed home a lot more and was a mommy to my baby months before she was born. It would have repulsed me to have another man touching me while I had my husbands baby growing inside me.
I really am sorry you are in this situation, but I would not let your wife get away with excusing it as crazy pregnancy hormones and if she even hints at that then go get a vasectomy so you don't have to go through that again. I think her being pregnant makes it even worse if that is possible.
BW 38 (me)
FWH 42
Married 7 years
DD 6
SD 15
11-2006 H said he wanted a divorce and walked out
3-2007 I told H I wanted him back
3-2007 to 4-2007 D-day's
4-2007 H moved back in for good
Today-In recovery, but a long way to recovered
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 25
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 25 |
i actually already got the baby tested. It is mine. And my wife did have unprotected sex and she did get tested for STD as well. It was all clear.
How i am sure abt the timeline is becoz I found emails and chats in which she is talking to the OM telling him how silly she felt telling him the first time how she has feelings for him "last week" and how scared she was as to what his reaction would be knowing and whether he would ahve any feeling for her or not....that was 4 mnths into pregnancy (the EA had been going on for atleast 2 mnths before that..i.e. getting too friendly).. thats how i know it started 4 mnths into her pregnancy.
THats what makes all this so mind boggling. SHe hasnt used this as an excuse but she just cant explain anything like all the WS out here. SO i was just wondering.
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 25
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 25 |
the sicko turned out to be my best friend. He had sex with her till she was 8 mnths pregnant. In the end thats all he wanted to do. My story makes most of the stories out here look like peasants.
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 514
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 514 |
Well I am glad you cleared that up. It freaked me out to think that she used being pregnant as an excuse.
As for her being able to explain like all the WS out here, I have a completely different take on that. I think early in recovery most WS do not know why they behaved the way they did. I think that is a big part of recovery is learning about themselves and why they had the A. Has your W been able to see what needs having the A met and are you both working on meeting each others needs so that you are both less vulnerable to having an A?
BW 38 (me)
FWH 42
Married 7 years
DD 6
SD 15
11-2006 H said he wanted a divorce and walked out
3-2007 I told H I wanted him back
3-2007 to 4-2007 D-day's
4-2007 H moved back in for good
Today-In recovery, but a long way to recovered
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