This is a monstrous thing for you 2 say 2 me, Mel. Congra2lations.

-ol' 2long

It was a dreadful mistake, but it was a MB poster who did the outing. The outing was made possible when leeno posted the link to the OM's website. In hindsight, a huge mistake. This MB poster may even be the one who called up this BS' therapist in this recent case. A real scumbag.

BS need to be aware of what can happen if they post too much info here.

I think it is a montrous thing to DO.

Okay, I won't post any more info about me or my WW.....can I get some positive help now? Pretty please....

My gawd, Mel. How could you know all this?

Don't you see the danger in speculating here?

-ol' 2long

Sorry, introvert. Hopefully, the point has been made loud and clear. Back to business!

So would I, only I didn't "do" anything of the sort. You accused.

-ol' 2long

I posted 2 your JFO thread.

-ol' 2long

No worries

I was just being a smart [censored] lol.

The topic was fine...just a little off.

****edit******

ok, folks, please keep your posts productive and helpful and get back on topic. We don't want to have to lock introvert's thread.

Thank you..

What do you hope to accomplish by "outing" WW on the other board?

I just finished reading her posts and they sound foggy, but what is the motivation for you correcting her there? She is asking for help in her own way. She may not get the best advice as she isn't telling the entire story (yet) but it is a process.

My F-WH was caught in an EA and then a YEAR later admitted a PA all along that continued until that d-day. HE had to come to a point where he could accept what he was doing/had done. This isn't an excuse, but I think it really is a process.

The best thing that you can do is read everything here and do your best to work toward recovery. You may end up with several d-days. You will have to decide each time if you can handle it. You will NEVER REALLY KNOW if it is the last time you'll hear new information. But you CAN get past it.

Your WW is still in withdrawl from OM and isn't with you yet. She can get there. She is making little steps in the right direction. You need to keep working on YOUR PLAN and encourage everything that she does to get closer to recovery.

I totally know that it isn't fair. SHE'S the one who made the mess and yet YOU are the one who has to WORK at it. But it is possible.

Thanks 2long. I'll post my response here. That way, maybe I can condense the 2 threads a little bit........


We went to MC once (before I found out about the extent of the sex). I was 100% certain that she was hiding it from me at the time of the MC, and when I would bring up accusations, she and the MC would gang up on me like I was just being "paranoid". We still go to the same counsellor, but at different times. I can't tell you how gratifying it was to tell the MC that I was right all along about the extent of the affair.

We've been together for 7 years, married in December '07.

I'm 33...WW is 34.

No kids.

I told everyone I knew about the affair when I first had concrete evidence...our friends, my family, her family.

DDAY #2 (I call it dday #2, even though it was really just finding out more info about the original affair)...I told everyone again.

So, you've only been M'd less than 6 months (no kids) and she's already cheated on you. Also, I took the liberty of reading her posts on the "other" board, and she's still VERY foggy ... seriously, how bad could you have been in the 3 months between your M and the A?

I believe your best course of action is to go directly to Plan "D"ivorce ... you've had too much of Plan "D"rama.

I'm sorry...I meant to say December '06. We have been together for 7 years. i understand you r point about the length of the marraige, but I'm not one to say that the piece of paper in a relationship really makes that much of an emotional difference when something like infidelity happens. If it did, then people who aren't married, but have been together for 20 years should be able to just walk away when this stuff happens...I doubt they could. JMHO

I'm sorry Maverick, but this post was about factual and relevant information to introvert ... he should know the histories of who he is accepting advice from, and how that advice has been used against other BH's in the past.

lino's situation was a MB travesty, and the darkest moment that I've witnessed on this forum in the 10 months that I've been here.

MyRev...

I disagree. They have been married for six months, but they have been together for SEVEN YEARS. Regardless of the legality of their co-habitation, this is an long relationship.

Plan D seems like the wrong first step. I guess it is inevitably up to you to decide, but if you want to save your M and she is willing to try, it is possible to do.

If I had gone with Plan D because of the Drama in my M, I wouldn't be here today where I can happily post the new successes of my relationship with my H. Sure, we are early in recovery. Sure, it was a PAINFUL experience. But I think that it is up to you to decide if it is WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

Don't give up just because it hurts right now. Give up because you do not want a relationship with this woman anymore.

I erred in my post. We were wed December '06

Maverick:

Why did you edit MyRev's post?

Much could be learned from that experience that might prevent the kind of incidents that Mel was talking about from happening in the fu2re.

I, for one, would like 2 see that post restored.

-ol' 2long

...here we go again lol.