Chrisner,

I think I know the answer, but are you hoping to recover your M?

That's a really interesting question, CL.

I see I missed out on quite a bit, but reading a lot of this stuff depresses me. That waywards can go on being waywards and neglect their children and not get it.

It makes me want to bring out the shovel. I'll call it the DON'T YOU GET IT shovel.

Don't You Get It?

Agree on being a BS rather than a wayward. God help them.

Oh, snap, Chrisner, you just quoted one of the BEST movies ever made. FANTASTIC. Sometimes, I wish I could be Charlie B'more. Strap on my ice skates and empty a chamber on some bad guys...

Well, I asked because I wasn't really sure. Even some of the D'd people around are still hoping to recover, so I was just wondering. It sounds like a "no" bit just wanted confirmation. I know how hard it is to let go of a long term M.

Geez,,,,,,,,I've missed out on soooo much great stuff. Seepage, pantie wads, thongs, tats, lap dances, trenches,,,,,,,,,,

I can't believe I can't think of one single great thing to add!!

Wayzilla's gone further down, and who would have thought it possible? There's truly no words to add to the descriptions already given here.

Thank God in Heaven you have such a great head on your shoulders and such a wonderful heart, Chris! DD20 - WOW - a great young woman who has sense enough to see, appreciate, and even deal with this whole sitch with such love & class. You done something good there my friend!!

Hey, I wonder if Wayzilla bought those videos about lap dancing for 'exercise',,,,they supposedly also sell a pole that you can setup in your own living room. Now just how would you essplaain a stripper pole in your living room to your kids???

I tell DS it's a FIREMANS POLE!!

WOOHOO!!

What really scares me is not that BC has a stripper's pole in his home, it's that I thought the EXACT same thing about what to tell your kids. I really do have the same sick sense of humor BC has. Scary.

Hi Chai.


I would love to hear your thoughts.


No, I am not.




Wayzilla called DD20 yesterday and asked her to lunch so they could talk. Taco Bell! But hey, before you laugh remember she is on a pretty fixed budget theses days.

So here is the Bonus Round Question:

A. Wayzilla wanted to sincerely apologize to DD for not coming to the hospital Sunday and promised that she would never again place her own selfish interests above the needs of her daughter.

or

B. Wayzilla told DD20 that it’s time to meet Gollum.



If you answered A, put back on your headphones and keep listening to Puff the Magic Dragon performed by Barney.

If you answered B, Congratulations! You are today’s winners.

And guess who called DD in the middle of lunch without any idea it was going on? That’s right; DGS! DD took the call and I guess that went over like a fart in an airlock (but they were at Taco Bell after all).

Soooo……

Wayzilla: "I think it’s time you met Gollum."

DD: "It’s not going to happen."

Wayzilla: "I wish you would reconsider."

DD: "No, I won’t."

Wayzilla: "I think you would like him."

DD: Starts to get up but her friend she brought along for protection puts his arm around her and sits her back down.

End of discussion.

Wayzilla never mentioned her actions on Sunday.

It's gotten far too predicatable.

(((((DD20))))

You guys are doing such a good job defending your principles here. I cannot imagine what turmoil DD is suffering. She, too, is suffering from her mother's A, just as a BS would. She has lost a mother, and all that is wrapped up in that relationship. It's sad. ONE teensy tiny good thing is that DD20 is learning how to draw boundaries, and enforce them. It's a shame it has to be her own mom.

Anybody suprised

anyone?, anyone?




sorry, watched Ferris Buller last night

Geez, chris, I don't even know how to respond to that. That is just horrible. Poor DD20.

I was sooooo hoping the answer was "a". Back to Puff the Magic Dragon for me, I guess.



I bet the look on WayZ's faces was absolutely priceless. Did she know it was DGS.

Them panties had to twist just a little bit tighter.


I'm not sure I like this. WayZ should be fixing the relationship. DDs friend should have been support and walked with her as she made her exit.

I hate to see this going on with DD20. It feels so similar to my DD14, although she doesn't have the power to walk out in the moment.


It's shakes my faith a bit that one day our two waywards will recognize what they have done to their children and take responsibility for it. I HAVE to believe it will one day happen, because it just breaks my heart to think of them losing a parent as surely as though that parent died. I just do not want to believe that this new personality applies to the children for the rest of their lives, too. It just to sad.

Wishing DD20 the best.....and hoping she takes a temperature check on the friend she took for protection. Even a little thing like that feels like a betrayal to me. In that moment, it would have felt like he was taking WayZ's side and disrespecting DD20 by taking the upperhand on whether or not she should leave. Not his call.

He may have been encouraging her to try to work it out and had all the right intentions......but that was disrespectful if you ask me.



Fox

I can see it both ways Cowgirl.

He did ask DD afterwards what she was doing. He told her the look that flashed across her face made him think she was going to kill her Mother. Her Mom saw the look too.

On top of that, Wayzilla drove so they had no where to go.

So I asked her last night what was she going to do, and she told me she frankly did not know.


Yep. Wayzilla asked her if it was DGS after the call.

As a side note, Wayzilla told DD that she is up to 103 lbs and needs to lose some more weight. She’s 5’-8” tall! She looked very slim healthy at around 125 lbs. This was her pre-A weight.

Dang Chris.. and I thought I had the most rotten apple in the cart.

She ain't far back but brother, I honestly think you're blessed to be rid of this one.

I'm gettin to the point where I'm thinkin I am too.

I assumed DD20's friend was keeping her from doing something she MAY regret.

I'm not at all surprised, and chose B in the first place. Shows you how cynical I am now, I suppose.

This sort of thing (the affair partners and their BULLSH!TE) is not happening with DS because PWC was not leaving due to an ongoing affair. I suppose I should be grateful? I dunno, this stuff does damage to your kids no matter how HAPPY they seem or profess to be. I know, I was one of those kids.

Oh.... thanks for clarifying. I guess I assumed she was getting up to leave and the friend held her back.

If she was getting up to harm poor little WayZ, it's probably best he brought her to her senses. It's bad enough as it is without it escalating to physical violence.



That is just skeletal. Yuck.

She's going to have to pin that belly button ring to a rib if she isn't careful.

That's just not healthy - her pyschological issues are showing up there, I betcha. After d-day, I dropped about 30 pounds. Once my mind was back on track - I didn't keep it all off and it would not have been good if I had.

She's still under a great deal of stress...and it is showing.

I've still got high hopes that she will at least be the mother that she used to be to DD.

Fox

Chris,

I can only offer a suggestion based on my own experience. I don't know if DD20 reads your thread or is willing to hear the suggestions of total strangers.

I wrote my father an email to get my feelings off my chest when I heard he was going to marry his OW.

I told him he was going to pay dearly with his relationship with me in doing so and that I would NEVER go to his home if he did this.

I explained what that woman represented to me. I told anyone and everyone that I could care less if he was with anyone else BUT her. He would try to say that she had found God now and was a good woman. I internally scoffed and was cynical that it was very convenient that she "found Jesus" after destroying my family.

I believe I said this to you before, but I told him that she could suddenly sprout a halo, float on air and start healing cripples and I would still not have anything to do with her.

Waterboarding her is all I could think of doing if I was going to be in her vicinity.

I would suggest to DD20 that she write Wayzilla an email explaining her feelings and letting her know that she will never, no matter what happens, ever accept the presence of that man or be near him in any way. She can accept someone else, but he will never be accepted.

Wayzilla will try to say something about "why do you accept DGS?" and DD20's response is simple: Dad had no choice about what you did to our family. He met DGS after your D and I'm happy for him because she is a good woman.

Gollum is a man who willingly involved himself with a married woman, who happened to be my mom, and contributed to the destruction of my family.

I would tell Wayzilla, in DD20's shoes, that if she intends to repair the realtionship between DD20 and Way, then she needs to know that Gollum's name will never be spoken or mentioned between them in a conversation ever again. If she's unable to do so, then things will remain distant between DD20 and Wayzilla.

I believe saying these things would lift a big burden off DD20 and would set boundaries for Wazilla to observe.

Just my thoughts, after living this scenario myself.

What a mess this continues 2 be.

So, it's been a little over a year, right?

Reality may yet set in. But maybe not.

-ol' 2long

Maybe I'm cynical too these days, but I just don't see any end to this in a very long time. Except for DD, her family has accepted this garbage. Even though you're dark, DD is on your side and they get to sit around and wonder how you've managed to brainwash her, which keeps you the bad guy. Gollum's BW probably isn't being as graceful as you so she's definately still the bad gal. I don't think they're anywhere near rock bottom. Life's moving along for them at the moment.

The real shake up won't happen until the bulldozers show up the same week the company goes under, which will happen to be the same week Gollum loses his a$$ and son in court.

Yeah, that'll probably do it

Can't wait

I'm for communicating reality to the waywards, too. I would love for someone to deliver that sledgehammer to the SCQ, but they can't hear it. DD20 could tell Wayzilla the whole bit, but Wayzilla would counter with "Dear, Gollum had nothing to do with the problems your father and I had." And she would believe it. She does believe it.

We all desperately hope for reality to set in, but it's just not going to. Not in any kind of time frame that will be useful for any of us.

Pass along my best to DD20.

Wayzilla may not agree with DD20, if she said what I suggested, but it lets her know where DD20 stands. It helps if DD20 emphasizes "never". It sets boundaries and keeps the uncomfortable topic of meeting Gollum from coming up again. If it is ever brought up again, DD20 simply has to say, "I believe I made my feelings about that very clear. They haven't changed and aren't ever going to change. What else would you like to talk about."