I back this post (emphasis mine.. not that you needed it).

We see it all the time on MB, where the BS comes here broken, devistated, hurting.. so deep in the pit of all of this that they can't even begin to imagine a way out.

Then something happens. Many find God, others no doubt have many here who have, praying desperately for them, others simply find the support they need to get through it in the other wonderful people who post here. Slowly, and it takes LOADS of time, people pick themselves up off the ground, dust themselves off, and find a measure of strength, courage, and character that they never even suspected that they had.

You, Queenie are a shining example of this.

Look at how much stronger you are today as a person than you were even in the days before you knew your M was in trouble. Look at how much more firmly rooted in your faith and values you are today. Look at the STRONG, Godly women and men you surround yourself with and who post to you on these boards. It's no coincidence that these boards.. a place for the weary and broken to come and find help.. are filled up with people like Mimi, Bugsmom, Foxy, Rin, Mrs. W, Lala, LilSis, Mark, Not2, JL, GC, Chrisner, SDGuy... just to name a few.. have you ever met in your life so many wonderful, stong, with-it, and compassionate people in the same place in your life? I know I haven't.

I also know that I'm truly blessed to be a part of this community. I could do without the circumstances that brought me here, however I'm beginning to look at this pain as a way for me to learn lessons about myself and my strength, values, and character that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

We've all come so far here, and have so much to be thankful for. Live in victory Queenie, because whether the WS comes home or not, you're making a transformation of your life into one that shines like a beacon of faith, love, and strength to those around you. Even the ones who care about us enough to beg and plead with us to 'get on' with our lives and kick WS to the curb so that we don't have to hurt anymore. We are blessed by them as well, as they come around every so often to remind us and help us find the measure of our resolve to be obedient to the purpose for which we have been called.

BTW... Queenie, found a quote for you that is a little atypical in our conversations but I thought it was applicable to the both of us:

When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong-- or absolutely right.
Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

Queenie, in Ezekial 34, G-d talks about taking care of His sheep.

Right now, I think we could both use some shepherding.

Q - I am praying for you right now, n I am praying for everyone else n their WS, praying that the WS finds their way back to the right path - back home to their loved ones.

Thank you so much, Jamesus, Cinder, Brown for your prayers, strength and support. It means more to me than I can express, but the depth of my appreciation is G-d given and not taken lightly.

Ok, this could be a LEAP, but a short version of Psalm 23 perhaps?

From the moment D-day happened, I could not LIE to myself and ask WHY. I knew why. I was DYING INSIDE. G-d was tired of watching my DIE slowly. There is too much love, passion, life, and adventure inside to see me day after day wither into a sick, dangerous human being. And that's what I had become.

At my AA meeting tonight, the topic was unusual. It was the 6th step. Were entirely ready to have G-d remove all my character defects. Today is one successful day for G-d and removing my character defects. The A brought the paperwork for me to sign at work. Remember, my three main character defects are manipulating, controling and being a martyr. So here I am, almost 4 paychecks from when WH started playing with the money. Remember the movie Fiddler on the Roof where Tevya is saying on the other hand this and then on the other hand that. Well my manipulating and martying has been doing that.

I have certainly had to learn to give up CONTROL of WH and let G-d have this situation. I walk in FAITH that my M will be restored. I have to be honest, I don't know if I can be as strong as CCBIS and not every marry again. I love with all my heart and soul and I believe for just me, that it's something special I want to share with another man, hopefully it's my H. But that's in G-ds plan, not mine.

Anyways, the A told me that I needed W-2, paystub, 2 years of taxes and 6 months of bank statements. In case I haven't been honest enough of what a disorganized person I am, TRUST ME... The thought of having to get these found before he can file the paperwork, DARN near put me into panic. I didn't know where any of that stuff was.

But, I am NOT the same person I was a year ago. I am a woman of G-d and I gave it to him. I asked G-d how to work through this, I became willing to turn my will and my life over to G-d. I came home, sat on the floor on my closet and pretty much found everything but one month of bank statements.

I have made a few corrections to the legal papers and to be honest, my A is going after way more than I thought. Will I get it, I have no clue. Do I want it, you bet. I'm fighting to save my M and it would really help me to pay down some bills. My A has asked that WH pay all my legal expenses. That surprised me, but then again. This is about choices. He chose to leave the house, he chose to abandon his family. I am choosing to protect my children and make sure that we are taken care of, not to mention salvaging us financially for when the day comes when he wants to come home.

Will I get it, G-d knows, not me. I just TRUST that he will provide with what I need.

Yes, I am because of this forum and the many people who believed in me to keep talking to me and not giving up on me.

My YS, who has almost dug himself out of his grade hole, made a book that he dedicated to me. He used a picture of me and said that this is my mom, she is the reason I am the person I am today. Now some of the people in my world would say he is disrespectful and a brat. I would disagree, especially when last night, I am taking a shower and drop something, he comes running into make sure I'm ok. I was behind the curtain.

What is transforming in my life is G-d's glory and you on here. I say it over and over again, because it's the TRUTH. You saved my life. Yes, I did the work, yes I didn't give up, but you didn't leave me and for that I owe G-d my obedience to walking through this with dignity, grace and willing to go to any lengths to heal.

The journey isn't nearly over. The outcome is still undecided and I continue to pray and hope for the day my M will be restored and you can all meet my H. Because he really is a good person when he isn't addicted to something....

Hi Bugs,

I miss you around on here. How you take care of yourself helps me to think new ways. How's little Bugs doing.

Is praying for them easy? I don't know how to answer that. I find it easy on the one hand because they truly are so sick and I love my H. But then you're right, those hurts and destruction that has invaded our lives runs deep and it takes a lot of effort on my part not to go to those places where I become bitter and want them to hurt.

I have often said, I hope WH gets to feel this pain. But each day more and more I am able to see him as someone in the late stages of alzheimers. He has no clue who he used to be, has no idea of what he has become and doesn't recognize me as the one who will always love him as his wife and is willing to stand by him no matter what. And today I can say that's not because I am desparate, but because I simply love him and made a commitment to G-d for better or worse.

We have no control over what they are doing, it still hurts like the dickens, and yet in the end, they will have to face G-d over this, not us. I have faced my G-d and begged for forgiveness. I continue to learn to live a life that G-d is designing for me.

{{{{{{{{Hugs for my Bugs}}}}}}}}} Take care of yourself.... Be well m'lady....

Queenie--

I have to tell you this is true for me as well--I just did not realize it until I saw these words. Today you helped me come one step closer to peace.

Did I ever tell you how truly remarkable you are? I am blessed to have met you...

Smartie

Smartie, YOU are the BLESSING in my life...

We have been through the worst, at least I hope. We have laughed together and cried, and yes gotten pissed.

One day we are going to meet for sure and just hug on each other and be grateful that we are in each others lives... hopefully forever

Queenie,

You give me inspiration when the chip seem to be down. I look at you and how far you have come and somedays wonder why I can't seem to get there with you. Other days I feel beyond it.

Oh, its a rollercoaster like one I've never been on before. Don't EVER want to be on this one again. Ever.

I'm in your footsteps, so tread carefully...

My H's uncle just died. And they need to get ahold of him. Should I call the intermediary and have him call WH to call his aunt or how should I handle it. Remember, he is supposed to be served tomorrow with the papers....

Why can't they just call him?

They don't have his number. And really I don't have it either. At least I would have to look it up on reverse directory or check the old cell phone log

Well, you have three choices....call him after looking up the number. Call the family after looking up the number. Or, tell them you don't know how to contact him. OR, could you have your attorney's office tell him he needs to call his family?

Or I could email my intermediary and call him and ask him to forward the message onto WH by email?

What do think?

I would tell them that I don't know how to reach him. He has to suffer the consequences of his actions...his choice not to tell anyone how to reach him.

Why should you go through any extra effort?

He won't even pay you the money that you NEED to feed and clothe your children.

My goodness, this has been an interesting afternoon.

Actually I do know how to get ahold of him by email. So I can just get ahold of intermediary and send the message by email.

Mimi, you have mail....

It's done, the intermediary has received the email and will forward it onto WH.

It's in G-ds hands as to when and what WH does with the information. His aunt is torn apart. She loved her husband so much, they were married 58 years. I can just hear the pain and sadness in her heart. It broke my heart.

She knows the whole sordid mess with what he nephew is doing and she is just disgusted by him. I believed at one time she was the only one who can reach him. Who knows anymore. I just want to be able to comfort her in this time and make sure I am a support system for her. She has always been so good to me and I love her dearly.

I truly understand this sadness inside her. I never did before, but I do today. I let her cry and talk all she wanted. I know there isn't anything I can say to lesson the pain, but I can darn well be there and let her know how much she is loved.

Queenie,

I am sorry to hear of the loss of a loved one in WS's family. They sound like lovely people. My condolences to you all.

I just had to pop in about this,


How that must have made your heart sing, the buttons burst off your clothes with pride, and your eyes fill with tears. No matter what WS does, he can't take that way from you. Your CHILREN are proud of you. They admire you. I admire you, as do so many people!

Bless you, my friend!

Hi Bugs,

My heart was a choir over what he had done. I am so amazed by my children. I love them deeply and I'm fighting for them and their dad as hard as I can, but staying out of his life. Do you know how hard that is....

It's ripping me apart inside. Miss control freak, who can't do anything but let HIM GO... and let G-D have HIM.

I heard the devastation in my aunt's voice. I was wrong, they had been married for almost 69 years. She is hollow inside. Oh g-d I remember that feeling. I know there isn't really anything I can do but be there for her, but to hear her pain breaks my heart.

I hate when people hurt. I wish I could just make it all go away, but I also have walked enough on this journey to know that these are the times when G-d needs us the most to reach to him. I have told G-d all night, how much I love him and to thank him for giving me the strength to not break Plan B and contact WW.

WH's uncle was a football coach who was so admired by his peers and town that they named the school stadium after him. He was such a g-dly, giving man and will be missed by so many people.

Hey Queenie!! I'm sitting here in a hotel in SC waiting to go see my younger son who is graduating from basic training. My older son came with and brought his laptop. Yea!

Anyways, I was catching up on your thread. What kind of legal papers is your attorney serving on him? Is it a motion for temporary support or something? Asking for attorney's fees is a standard for most motions. "I wouldn't have to bring this motion your honor if this person had done what he was supposed to, therefore, I should be awarded attorney's fees."

As far as him being served on the same day he receives news about his uncle? His choices bring his consequences. I can't help wonder about God's timing in all this either. Yanno?

((Queenie))