My husband and I have been together for about 9 years, married almost 3. We are young (24) and are considering buying a home. Like all couples we have issues, and we bought and both read His Needs Her Needs. Generally things are going a lot better. Except for this one confilct. When we got married he brought in a lot of credit card debt, and I had school loans. We decided 6 months ago to move back in with my parents to pay off our debt, and save for a house. I am constantly trying to get our debt paid off, and trying to save, while he is constantaly shopping for cars and houses. He wants one NOW, while I am trying to stick to our plan. He always says that I am the one in control and all I ever do is say NO. Meanwhile, I am applying to medical school and plan for us to move next summer. He is fine with this, but still wants to buy a house NOW, and take out extra money in a loan to pay off our debt. Im so fed up with him constantly buying cars, taking out new loans, and bringing up the subject of a house over and over again. He has had 5 cars (all working) in the last 6 years!!! What should I do to get my point accross and help him see the side of reason? With the economy the way it is, I really want us to be financially set as soon as possible. Medical school = $200gs of loans, and I just cant imagine stepping into this with all of our current debt.

thanks for any help!

Point out to him that any adult who has to move in with parents because your debt is too high has no business buying a house OR a new car. I generally keep each car 10-12 years, and they run just fine.

Make a deal with him. Sit down with a computer money program, show him the bills, include medical school on it, and ask him to work through the budget with you, making sure to put some money aside for fun so he doesn't feel cheated. But make sure that fun is in the $100 range, not the $10,000 range.

Confused, have you and your husband read the articles on here about negotiating and the policy of joint agreement? He should not be buying new cars without your support. On the other hand, why do you think it is so important to him to purchase new cars and a house? Frankly, 6 cars in 5 years sounds pretty excessive ... does he get bored with the car? Is he showing off for his friends? Is this some kind of hobby (I do have friends who collect cars and like to fix up classic cars, but they are the only ppl I know who are always shopping for cars)?

On the house front, home loans are a lot harder to get these days. If you have debt, even though he is shopping, he probably won't be able to get a loan and certainly won't be able to get a loan big enough to pay off your credit cards as well. No one is doing those type of loans these days. Let him shop, he won't be able to buy ... LOL!