I have a single neighbor that I have made a point of being friendly with but we don't know each other very well. (She knows that I am flirting with her.) Recently there was a festival in our small town and a friend of mine came up and said she kept looking at me and he wondered if I noticed. (I did not notice...duh!!!) So I went over and spoke with her briefly.

A couple of days later, I went for a run and she was outside her house. I ran up and said Hi and we spoke for a couple of minutes. As I was leaving I said, "Perhaps we can get together sometime?" She said "Definately".

OK, she is interested. But does "Definately" mean "Call me"? Since she doesn't know me very well, is it a good idea to call and put her on the spot? Or would it be better to ask her the next time I run into her?

I think there is a fine line of coming on too strong, and not showing enough interest????

I eagerly await all female answers to this! What would you want a nice guy that is flirting with you to do next?

Keith

Call! She is sitting by the phone.

Keith,

Is this the same woman you and I talked about before? If it is I think I recall she was newly separated and had some issues??

Ronda

No, this isn't the one that just got divorced. She was a nice person, just going through a bad time and I never asked her out. This person has been divorced for a while.

okay well then...what are you waiting for? Call her!!

She better be damn special too if she is going to get a quality guy like you!!!

Thanks Ronda. That is sweet.

So if I ask her out... what is a good first date? Dinner? Or there is another festival in town next week... should I ask if she wants to go to that? Or maybe meet there?

You should offer to meet her there...it's a good open place...plenty of things to see/watch which will help with carrying a conversation.

No need to thank me...you already know you are my standard should I ever get into another relationship.

Yeah, ask her to meet you there. That gives her security in case she wants to end the date early (no offense), and it doesn't indicate full-out romantic situation, and gives you a chance to just have fun together. Dinners can be so intimidating.

I disagree. If you think you may want to date her, I suggest dinner. Almost anything else leaves me wondering if it was a "friends" get together or a date. Plus, you're neighbors. You already know where she lives, so the "meet in a public place" doesn't really apply. Naturally, dinner is dinner in a restaurant, not a romantic dinner for two in your house.

Let us know how it goes.

I'm going with this. Fortune favors the bold and I sometimes question if this forum is the best place for advice of this nature.

No offense folks.

Many of the people here have been through some terrible, terrible marriages and divorces and their experiences are reflected in their advice. It is perfectly understandable for them to want take things slowly and carefully, but others, whose experiences haven't been quite as traumatic, might prefer a faster pace.

My advice... Go with what YOU are comfortable with. IMO, the sign of a good match is when both people can get on the same pace. Consider it a sign of compatibility. If you go too slowly for yourself in order to accommodate her, you're neglecting your own preferences and that's a lousy foundation to build on.

Good luck.

Good response Seabird.

Definitely means she's just waiting for you to ask.
Judge the location on your own likes and dislikes and those you have in common.
A town festival would be something I'd personally avoid, because if I wanted to get to know someone, I'd prefer one on one. But then, I'd prefer a walk in a park to a formal dinner.

Thanks newly. And I agree with you about the town festival thing. Those sorts of things make for a good 3rd or 4th date IMO, but the first date should be more one on one. Likewise movies... Those make for terrible "get to know you dates". It's not like you can have any sort of conversation.

How about a wine bar? I find them a good balance between being emotionally neutral and romantic. They're quiet enough to be able to converse, and unless she's a lush, the likelihood of getting too drunk from a couple of glasses of red are less likely than a regular bar. Plus, most serve some kind of food - from full blown gourmet fare to simple personal pizzas, cheeses and other tapas.

The latter is extremely effective in breaking the ice IMO. There is something very daring about sharing food.

I agree with Green, pick her up don't meet her somewhere. IMO I would give her a call (from what you posted so far she is just waiting for a call!) Then ask her if she would like to go grab a bite to eat or if you want to go a little slower ask her if she would like to take a walk. The most important thing is to get to know her. Find out her likes and dislikes and go from there. I met my husband through a mutual friend. She invited me to go to a halloween party she was invited to and DH was there. He called me the next day and we went out to lunch with her and another mutual friend. Then we talked a few times that week to get to know each other. Then for our first real date we went to the driving range and then to a casual restaurant for dinner. NO movie dates for a while and no dates where you are distracted from making conversation.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Go for it call her!!!!

Take it from someone that wishes that the guy would've spoken up!!!!

I like the wine bar thought, where I live we don't have those, so I think that is awesome!! Allows for a comfy atmosphere!

Best wishes, judge for you self if you lean in for that good night kiss!!! No handshakes!!!

Dawn

I 2nd the wine bar. Very cozy and hip. Love 'em!

Keith,

I'm still sticking with the casual "date" of meeting at the festival. Knowing what I know of you I think you'd be more comfortable in that atmosphere for a first "date".

Keep me posted!

Ronda

Its too ambiguous.

If you want to date her, take her somewhere so she doesn't have to agonize over whether or not this is really a date.

The meet somewhere and hang out could be interpreted too many ways.

Make it a real true date. Pick her up. Pick up the check.
Then take it from there...

I called and she said Yes!!!, she would like to have dinner with me!

Thank you all for the encouragement!

Congrats!!!