{{{{{{{{{{{{{{RIN}}}}}}}}}}

I am always amazed at how you work through your pain on here, identifying what it is, and finding a solution. Alanon is sure working in your life.

Tough to do, and the pain still is ICKY... But you are an example that helps the rest of us get through this with a plan of action on how to do it.

Thank you,

I hear you on this, Rin, and hope you get to a place soon where you can really cut back on contact. Even businesslike emails are triggering on some level.

(((Rin)))

Thank you very much James! I know that I'm a strong person I have made it this for...I really don't think that I have truly allowed myself to grieve...I think that I thought I was but I was really focusing on other things and pushing it aside...

I'm still sad today...I got out one of our old cell phones thinking that I could use the smartcard in it...I had saved it b/c of the txt messages that POWS and OW had on it...there's one that she said ok, I love you too...from Sept. 05...way after d-day, and I didn't find it until after d-day when he switched cell phones...

I'm going to keep it for the time being to remind myself now to get sucked in to who he pretends to be...a gentle reminder of why I divorced him in the first place...

I'm going back and forth between being mad and wanting to cry...I don't know if that's normal or not but I'm doing the best that I can with it...so I'm in day two of mourning...LOL...

Rin,

I just have a sec before I have to run to the airport but had to stop by and say - Absolutely you are NORMAL! Besides, what constitues 'normal' when you have been betrayed as we have?

Each one of us goes thru 'similiar' cycles, but we are still individuals who are struggling through this situation. Yes, you have grown and become stronger than you ever knew you were, but it's ok to still be vunerable at times. It's ok to acknowledge and work through those moments of weakness,,,,,,,,those moments of sadness. The ability to work through it, without getting stuck IN it, is the difference between THEN and NOW!

Glad you are back posting!! Miss your LMAO comments!!

Take care!

Morning SL! I have missed talking to you very much especially here lately...I have thought about you on more than one occasion...

I hear you loud and clear and thank you...I'm looking forward to going back into my cave...funny you mentioned b-day...both of the boys are coming this month...21st and 29th...so I have to content with that also...POWS and I had discussed the options for their b-day party but that got put aside with the surgery...which I found out that will be Monday morning...so I'll probably get the kids this sunday instead of next Friday...

That's cool, as long as I get a little time...I'd like to go to some adult stuff this weekend...LOL...I haven't drank a beer in weeks! HA! Time to kick it up a little!

Hey Rindy....hope you start to feel less sad...you have such a pretty smile.

Your ex is not worth the tears...celebrate your liberation from such a horrible husband!

Just wanted to say hello to you. so...hello.

Well, i was going to post to each one of you individuality b/c I know that we all like to feel special! LMAO...

There you go BUGS, just for you and that was done through tears...you know I love to joke and cut up..thanks for the sec of your time...

Queen, thank for the compliment...and on the back posting comment BUGS...I'm making the time to do it, even if I can't read OP's thread...like I'm suppose to be in the shower right now, getting ready for work! I don't know how else to handle this sitch but to post here...so if I'm not here, LOL, you know I'm doing well! sad but true...I would call it selfish but I know better, it's a matter of taking care of myself...

Oh, and go figure I'm a vet with over two years under my belt here...HA! I still feel like a newbie, LOL...

SD, I greatly appreciate your stopping by as always man...it really means alot...

Well, better go hit the shower...I am SOOOOO sunburn....two days on the back of a motorcycle this pass weekend, you know you can't tell because of the wind what's going on with you...did a 1000 miles and enjoyed every minute...from Louisiana to Destin, FL and back...would do it again but a little different, would actually think about some sun block! HUH, GO FIGURE? The stuff works! Who would have thought! Lesson learned on that one! LOL

THere you are! LOL...thank man, I hear what you are saying...

BTW, I happen to enjoy your posts here for the record, LOL, would hate to see you go especially over retarded crap!

have a great day!

Morning! I'm doing better this morning!

I was thinking about all that time that I didn't sleep...up even 45 minutes to an hour. WEll, i stopped taking my AD back in MArch and I have been sleeping pretty good since then, 10 hours on my recent trip to visit a friend of mine, I was so tired!

So sleep has been helping...not weepy this morning, very thankful it's Friday and I don't have the kids this weekend...sun will not be in my plans at all with 2nd degree burns from last weekend...

I have plans to help a friend write a letter this afternoon, he has a disability when it comes to writing his thoughts down into words...intelligent person but there a break in the link that doesn't also the words to be wrote down the way that he wants them to be...other than that I have a painting that I was hired to do and I need to finish it...even through I really don't feel like doing that or anything else right now for that matter...

Well, I have to go get ready for work...I don't want to go there either...

Rin,

That's so sweet of you to help your friend out with his letter. Doing for others always makes me feel better!

Oh, and do the painting. I'll bet you'll find that once you really get started it will be enjoyable and good 'therapy'.

Enjoy the weekend!

Hey Rin,

How are you babe?

HI all! I did finish the painting and it should be dry soon, and I have already been hired to do another one...my friend just has to come up with want he wants to do and I'll be ready for it!

Last Sunday, I took OS out and took about 160 pics of him, got about a dozen great ones...I plan to do the same thing when YS gets home...

Had a melt down at work Monday...boss gave me Tues and Wed. off with pay...went in today with a better attitude...I have a co-worker who is creating trouble and I CAN'T believe what he did today!!!!!!!!! This co-worker has rubbed the boss the wrong way and I think that the best solution is to sit back and watch him slowly kill himself...it clicked today on exactly how I need to handle him...he is sneaking and manipulating...I'm dealing with the characteristics of an addict or alcoholic...impatience...etc...

It put me in a moral dilemma, but I decided that the best solution in this case is to let sleeping dogs lie...bad thing is that him and I went to school together and he thinks that "MEANS" something, but he's actually trying to control the sitch and get his way...now that I figured "the real problem" out, I can right that part of the problem with work off, because he doesn't matter in my book! I have lose complete respect for him...and he said that "he knows me!" that was really a laugh, otherwise he would not have done what he did...

No point in mentioning it but I'm looking for another job and checking into a few other options...like going back to school for a second degree that will increase my income...being that I already have one it shouldn't take me that long to finish the second...

So, I'm just "doing" something and will be making a decision sometime in the future...a new process has been started at work also that will make things alot easier...so I plan to kind of be still in that department...

I briefly txted with POWS today about this Father's day, he is suppose to have the boys but according to him, he is still having trouble sitting up on his own...from that conversation, I realized that I am still angry with him...told him that he NOW knows what it feels like to have a c-section and referred back to the day that we came home from the hospital and he choice to go to sleep before getting my pain meds. I got stuck on the sofa for a few hours with YS laying on my chest because I hurt so bad that I couldn't get up and my voice was so weak that he couldn't hear me calling for him. I gave up and went to sleep...

He said that he was sorry for that...I just wished him Godspeed in his recovery and that I would keep OS with me...

I've had a bit of bad luck here lately, the post office is returning my mail to sender because someone can't read that it's ONLY POWS' mail that needs to be forwarded...so if I did get a CS check in the mail it has been returned...and both of my big TVs are out...but I'm watching a 19inch which is better than the 13 inch that the kids and I watch for the six months that we lived at my friend's house...

I wanted to question what had I done wrong that I am having so much trouble but had to remind myself that bad things DO happen to good people...

I've had a lack of motivation in the past few weeks but am feeling better tonight...there are things that I need to do but just don't feel like doing them...I guess that's okay...it will get done when it gets done...I still want to kick myself for knowing that it needs to be done and not doing it...

All in all, this moment is good...thanks for asking!

Rin, thanks for the update. It's good to hear that you're doing well. I still remember your graititude lists, and have started making them, too. Did you know your enthusiasm is contagious

(((Rin)))

Good Morning EO, long time no see! Thanks for dropping in...perhaps it would be a good day to do a gratitude list my list! Although, I know that I am extremely blessed and I thank GOd often for the things that I don't have and the things that I do have, it has been awhile!

So, thank you ma'am! I'll do a few things in this post! Contagious, oh yes! I need some to rub off on me right now I think! LOL

Great to see you!

Okay, here goods:

My health!
My kids!
A solid roof over my head!
A computer that works!
Friends to talk to and post with!
A loving, caring, and understanding God who has blessed my in my struggle, has the power to move mountains in my life even when I don't have the strength.

That's good for now! I invite anyone to write a few things that you are grateful for today. It helps remind me where I need to be!

Thanks again EO! I ahve to finish getting ready for work!

The karma bus! HA! I have told him several times that everything that he has done to me WILL happen to him...I'm seeing it now...hence no compassion...

Thing is I know that I'm stupid where he's concerned and I told him that instead of people saying "I love you!" they should say "I'm stupid about you!" Because I know with POWS that I'm just plumb stupid where he is concerned...if the door is open the least little bit, he moves right on in and I have to kick him out...I do think that I'm getting better about it...and that door has to be open some because of the kids...

The awareness, etc...I'm sure that there will come a day that
I am like "Oh, not partner, stop right there!" I think I still have a hard time accepting WHO he really is verses who I want him to be...

It's a case of I want what I want when I want it and that hurts me everything...

This reminds me of the song Marilyn Monroe sang in "There's No Business Like Show Business":

"After you get what you want, you don't want it.
If I gave you the moon, you'd grown tired of it soon.

You're like a baby, you want what you want when you want it,
When you get what you want, you don't want what you get...."

(etc.)

Could apply to a lot of different situations...

LOL..what more needs to be said on that one!

On a different note, co-worker that has been causing all the drama at work was fired today...he has been doing this for a few weeks now...

Yesterday, and I don't understand why he "thought" that it would be acceptable to me, offered me drugs...in combination with the other things that he has been doing he was out of the door this afternoon...I had to figure out how I was going to handle the sitch...and I wasn't going to say anything, BUT after entering into a meeting with my boss and hearing the rest of the stuff that was going on with him, I spoke up...

My boss said that he should have fired him a few weeks ago when it first occurred to him, but that this was the last straw...so, some of the pressure and stress from the job should be relieved now...no one wanted to talk to him for fear of being the next target...

No word from POWS today and that's good stuff! It's actually been a very good day!

See what being still does.

Leave people to own their own garbage and they WILL be served.

SOOOOOOO true BC! So true!

I hear you BC! It has been proven time and time again. IF you happen to be around this town in the next few weeks, I would love to caught up with you! Perhaps, the boys can play together or something. Just a thought, I know how busy the two of us have been.

Until this CS, gets under way from whoever it's suppose to be coming from, I have been doing some sideline work...just finished a painting! I have another lined up, and an co-worker wants to hire me to take some pictures for her. So, I'm thanking God for my talents of late! I feel pretty darn blessed to have OP wanting "ME" to do this for them!

Hi SM, welcome to my thread! Thank you for your post!