bumping for introvert.......

n2f

Wow. While skimming through this thread, I saw 2 or 3 versions of myself posting on it.

I'm amazed at how many people just assumed I was trying to force her to degrade herself, or do things she didn't want to do...even after clearly stating that was not the case.

I figured out one way of dealing with the situation: Play the "game" by her rules.

So, I've got to be Mr. Nice Guy...help around the house plenty, do extra stuff with the kids, appear to be doing OK, yadda yadda yadda.

So I do it. Not because I'm a good guy, or a doormat, or a sucker.

I ONLY do it to get laid more.

So, when she sees me folding laundry, she thinks, "That sure is nice of him!"

In my head, I know I'm only doing it to get some. Otherwise, I couldn't care less about going above and beyond the call of duty.

At least this way, the manipulation works both ways...but she doesn't know that. At least that's what I tell myself.

Is it working?

Krazy,

The very first time you posted this thread and I read it, well, you know I thought you were the biggest A$$, but as this thread went on and you posted other things, AND (and this was the clincher) as time wore on in my sitch and the ANGER finally came, I GOT IT.

Then my opinion of you changed, and now I really think you aren't the horrible guy your posts sometimes portray you to be........


now the manipulation part.......though I know we are "supposed" to meet EN'S "just because", but human nature just doesn't always work that way, does it???????


not2fun

I have taken this a bit out of context but this part, I can relate to.

That is exactly how it is. My WW expects her EN's to be met 24/7/365. If I even look sad it's like it resets the clock for her. It takes her several days to become comfortable enough with me to have sex after we have even the most petty of negative events. I would say it pisses me off but really what it does is hurt me. She LB's me just as much as I do her yet I always jump right back into the bandwagon and strive to meet her EN's. No, I am not just doing it for sex like Krazy is, I don't feel like she owes me anything. It just sucks because everything seems like it is on her terms. Her needs must be met at all times, only after her needs are met are mine even considered. She slept with another man she had only met on the internet, a person who was full of sh*t and just lied to her when she was vulnerable to get sex, a man with a history of doing this. I can't just be OK 100% of the time yet that is what I am expected to be. I don't mind giving 50% or even 75% but on this front, I feel like I am giving 100% and getting absolutely no returns. I can keep it up for a while but every man has limits. I have needs that are just as valid as hers.

I'd like to thank you not2fun, for bringing my attention to this thread. My situation is a little bit different, but the conversation and advice brought forth in this thread is very helpful for me in my current situation. The posts by "BrambleRose" should be framed and hung on every BH's wall for future referrence....very insightful.

Thanks again