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Joined: Apr 2001
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Congrats!!

So when is the date? and where are you going?

Let us know!!!!

Dawn

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LOL. Of course she said "Yes."

She said "yes" when she said "Definitely."

I'm really happy for you.


Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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So how was the date?

Did you hit it off?

Do tell in a gentlemanly manner!!!!

Dawn

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Daybreak,

Well, I would tell you how the date went if it had happened...

When I called, she said yes, and that it would be nice to do dinner. She said she had to check her schedule because of her kids and asked for my phone number. It has been a week and have not heard from her. I am a little confused...

It may be that she just likes the flirting at this point. I know she is interested (to what extent though??). I will just sit tight and if I see her again, I will be friendly as I always am. I won't bring up the date offer though as I don't want to pressure her.

Even though I am disappointed I have not heard back, I am very happy I found the confidence to call her and ask. I am glad that I have the confidence to walk up to her when I see her just to say Hi!

My X had numerous EA's and one PA during the last 10 years of our marraige. Each time she did, it eroded more of my self-esteem and confidence away. By the time we divorced, I was convinced I was worthless. As tough as the journey since the divorce has been, it has been a tremendous oppurtunity for growth for me.

3 years ago I could have never approached this woman because I honestly thought I was not worthy of anyone. Now, and I don't mean this to be arrogant, I want to make sure I find someone that is worthy of me! smile

Asking a woman out, and possibly getting shot down isn't really that bad. Not asking her, and never knowing, is what I don't want.

Will see if she calls...

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Originally Posted by BHINWI
3 years ago I could have never approached this woman because I honestly thought I was not worthy of anyone. Now, and I don't mean this to be arrogant, I want to make sure I find someone that is worthy of me! smile

That's not arrogant at all! It's a healthy perspective to take. Saying yes, then ducking and dodging... That's not worthy behavior either. Is that the kind of person you want to spend time or money on? Bah!

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Originally Posted by Seabird
That's not arrogant at all! It's a healthy perspective to take. Saying yes, then ducking and dodging... That's not worthy behavior either. Is that the kind of person you want to spend time or money on? Bah!

No, I don't want to be given promises nor lead in the wrong direction. When she said "Definately" and then "Yes" when I called her, I thought it was a done deal. Another thing I just noticed this week, is her X has been staying over night. I better write this one off to experience!!!

I remember right after my divorce I dated a woman that absolutely treated me like garbage. She would stand me up, then call me for a date. I would take her out for dinner and she would leave immediately. All the while she was doing this, (unknown to me), she was dating a rich attorney and the last I heard they are engaged. As I write this, I can't believe I dated her because she wasn't worthy of me.


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I commend you for looking at this situation in a mature manner. I'm encouraged by your insight and attitude. I think all of us that have been betrayed by our ex-spouses have a difficult time gaining confidence again. It's hard to bounce back when your self-esteem has been shattered. I find that dating again is a hard thing to grasp because you're dealing with new people and their different personalities, styles and baggage.

I'm so glad you've grown from your experience and I hope that I can continue to learn from people like you. You are sooo right- you are entitled to find someone worthy of you! Good for you for regaining confidence too. I am still working on that myself.

Keep us posted on this. Keep your chin up. You're doing great!


Looking forward to a new chapter since D was finalized on 4/24/07 from WH.

"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
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But that's the beauty of those horrific dating experiences! (hingsight, of course grin)....you can learn from them as you have done. You have not ignored a MAJOR red flag that's popped up w/ this new gal.

*pat pat*





DW--BW....separated/divorced since 2003
Re-married 7/09!
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Originally Posted by ready2wait
I think all of us that have been betrayed by our ex-spouses have a difficult time gaining confidence again.

When you are betrayed by someone you love and trust more than anyone in the world, (your spouse), it will cut you down to absolutely nothing. And unless you have had it happen to you, you cannot understand it.

Originally Posted by ready2wait
I find that dating again is a hard thing to grasp because you're dealing with new people and their different personalities, styles and baggage.

I am also uncomfortable with dating at times. It does not always feel "normal". I should be growing old with the woman I love, and created our children with. I should not be dating??? It can be confusing at times.

As a guy, I am alway worried that a woman thinks I am after just one thing. Little do they know, I want it all. I want my best friend, I want to be her rock, I want to come running to me when she needs me, I want passion, I want fun, I really want it all!

Originally Posted by ready2wait
I'm so glad you've grown from your experience and I hope that I can continue to learn from people like you.

We are all learning and we all draw from each other here. smile

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BHINWI,

I am sorry that things did not work out. But you learned! That is what is always important, is that we learn!!!

You said,
Quote
As a guy, I am alway worried that a woman thinks I am after just one thing. Little do they know, I want it all. I want my best friend, I want to be her rock, I want to come running to me when she needs me, I want passion, I want fun, I really want it all!


That is what I am looking for as a woman, I want it all!!!! I am just scared about the frogs to get to my prince! But I am willing to kiss a few of them!!!! I just have to find them, my world is so small there aren't many prospects and I put some vibe out that says don't approach. My friend Sandy and I have the same issue and have spoken about it, we think it has something to do with being confident women and being self sufficient. Not sure though!!

Dawn


BS 49
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Engaged to be married on the 4th of August 2012!
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I'd be waiting for the nice guy I had a crush on, to call me. a lot of women would be waiting on your next move....Call her! ;-)

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Originally Posted by SadEyes7
I'd be waiting for the nice guy I had a crush on, to call me. a lot of women would be waiting on your next move....Call her! ;-)

her x is spending the night over there... no way!

keith, good to hear that you are getting your confidence back. keep at it.


FBH, 39
Now a primary custody dad
New life began June 2008
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