Hi Mimi,

I'm still here at work, been here since 7:00 am. I missed you today...

{{{{{{{Mimi}}}}}}}} Back at cha sweet friend.

Queenie,

I am sorry you have hit the Halt point. It's always such a tough bump in the road when that happens.

Yet, I read in your post such GREAT things, too. Despite your incredible sadness, you are doing better at seeing and acknowledging the GOOD around you at the same time.

THAT, my friend, is great growth and progess! Very Goddess like!

Your continued faith and trust is also bringing good things to work in your life. Did you imagine in the depth of your pain last night that you would wake to having that money from WS? Nope. Yet, you had articulated your FAITH and TRUST, and yet again, He proved Himself worthy in a powerful way - both with the $$, and even better with the boys!

Take care of yourself tonight. Chill out. If you must "think" about things, think of ways that you and your co-worker can stay connected this summer. I'd bet she is wanting the same thing!

{{{{Queenie}}}}

LOL

We do work together, not outside of work.

But she is just someone special in my heart and when she is at work, it's the safest place to be.

Who knows though. I certainly am not shutting out possibiities.

And you are right, I didn't think there would be money or the boys would be moving towards making up. That was my prayer that they begin to heal.

I'm tired for sure. Need to run a few errands, was going to try and catch a ride to a new Alanon meeting, but no luck, so will do my errands and then go home, take a nice shower and relax.

Good evening Queenie.

I just wanted to pop by and say that you are not alone.

It was wonderful news to read that some money was deposited for you and your children. Fantastic news!

I am enjoying the calm, to whatever extent it is extended to me. It is still dotted with thoughts of my loss, moments of grief, but it's not nearly as overwhelming as it once was. Life goes on. Thank God for that.

Keep the faith, Queenie.

Hi Queenie,

that is fantastic news about your kids getting on again. they may not know it now, but when they 'grow up' they will be each others closest friends.
WH finally gave you some $$$, wonderful! I hope theres enuff there for you to do or get something nice just for Queenie. Your desire to put your kids first is admirable but you wont do them any good if you dont eat and take care of yourself.

Queenie, dont give up hope and faith, your my inspiration. If you can grow and become you thru this, I can only follow.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Queenie

(((Queenie!!!)))

Hi Cinders, how are you tonight?

SL, ride the calm for as long as you can. Because it strengthens us for the storm when it hits again.

Lil,
Give up FAITH? NEVER... Give up HOPE? Not possible.

I love my H. I more than anyone understands the ADDICTIVE mind. I know how it takes you down, I know how it destroys you. I know that rush from the excitement. I know the self will to do what feels good. I know what has him dead to me.

Grow and become me, you got it girl. We are in this together. I won't stop fighting for G-d and who he has designed for me. I just am letting the WH go a little more to absolutely.

I feel it inside of myself and it's sad. It has to be, but it's still sad and I am grieving the loss of who I once loved and my dream of my M that as much as I tried to deny it, was my life, was what I wanted my whole life. And it's gone.

As for buying me something, no not me. The cell phone bill, the tabs, and then the boys. Tomorrow we shall see if WH has replied to my motion. While I am not obsessed, I am a little curious if he thinks that by giving me the money, that will stop the process. We shall see won't we.

My daughter is home from Germany. Just got in tonight. She's exhausted. She had such a good time. Glad she had the chance. Glad her dad paid half of it. Well, half of the base expenses. I don't think his $50 matched my $250 for spending money. Don't know how much she spent on gifts for others here. She has a kind heart.

Her German student partner comes here in September. She asked me tonight about another girl who doesn't have a host family here. Let's see.....one German girl for 3 weeks....two German girls for 3 weeks. Does it make a big difference. So, I have to feed 4 teenagers for 3 weeks instead of 2. Hmmmm.....can I do that. I wouldn't have to entertain them during the day because they would go to school or have excursions around the city. 4 females sharing one bathroom and one boy with his own. Would this work?

LOL,

I personally think the more the merrier. Life is so short and having children or young people around keeps your heart young.

If money is an issue, I can send you something to help out so you can enjoy the company.

Hi Q
It's nice to see u happy.
{{{Queenie}}}

Hi Brown,

I'm recovering more and more each day in spite of myself.

Happy, one day I truly hope to know that emotion again. Deep happiness inside myself. And not because one person did or didn't do anything.

WONDERFUL, QUEENIE, ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!

I love you Mimi,

How are you today?

NOT WELL AT ALL at this very moment...

I'll email you...

Q - I really do pray for all the best for you.

And I pray for you too sweet friend....

I could use some prayers right now for Thy will be done..

I'll explain later...

I just need to leave what's going on in G-ds hands and accept thy will be done.

One of my FAVORITE prayers...

It is a good prayer. I just need to keep saying it over and over again.

Mimi, you have mail.....