TJ

LG you b@astard! I shot 100 yesterday

I joined the course by the house though, I'll be shootin low 90's in no time

Bugs,

You are handling the kids perfectly. There's a fine line and a few dozen eggshells to walk over when trying to keep the keeps out of the middle.

You are making it look easy. Your Plan A was legendary. Now your thread is an inspiration for people learning to deal with kids living in a wayward environment.

but then again, you get paid to do trash management

LOL, well put!

LG,

Glad to know you are around - even if you don't have time to post very often. I'm with you, in that I love to read the updates from the Killer Bees. Everyone really is doing so well!

I do wish, though, that we'd get an update from Sis. I know I went through a time that it wasn't beneficial for me to be on the forum for a while. I think that's where she is right now,,,,,,,,,along with just getting out there and living life. I imagine nothing but good things are going on with her.

Ladybug's Grandpa is fine - it's just that we now live 1 1/2 hours away from him since we moved. And now Drac lives that far from him, as well. The reason for family getting his Rx is that he can't read. Yes, it is 2008. Yes, the man holds a full time, good job, and no, he can't read.

It's amazing to me, too. Long story short, he comes from a very large rural area family. He quit school to get a job and never went back. Drac's mom took care of things when they were married, but then when Drac was a teenager, she left his dad for another man,,,,,,,,,AND she left him a LETTER. Drac had to read it to his Dad.

So, since then, it's been Drac that's helped his Dad with all of this kind of stuff. Don't feel too badly for Drac, though, because his dad's taken care of many things for Drac through the years as well. It's my opinion that Drac has taken advantage of his Dad, too, since the whole A began, by making financial arrangements to Drac's favor, which has also taken advantage of his Dad. JMHO.

Anyway,,,,,,,,,,,,I am sure I'll eventually hear about the family event. I have remained interested in his family and their well being - I still care for them all a great deal. In fact, his closest cousins are all coming over to my house for a pool party next month. I'm sure I'll hear plenty that day!

ha!

BC,


100?? With all of the golf you've been playing, I really expected you to be out of those triple digits by now!! If I might make a suggestion - - try putting down the beer when you pick up the club, , those t-shots go further when you use 2 hands!

Thanks for the compliments! I am honored. We all KNOW that none of this is easy for any of us, but certain things have gotten easier. Although I'm sick of the saying "It is what it is",,,,, that attitude has helped me a lot.

As has been said before, I don't have to LIKE the sitch, but I DO have to find a way to deal with it in a way that doesn't make me insane.


To quote Pep - - EGG-ZACT-LEE! Although, I will tell you that there are times where the STENCH of the garbage can be unbearable. It's those times that I just try to climb my way to the top of the trash heap and pray for a cool breeze to come my way with some fresh air. Usually, that air comes in the form of great friends here at MB!!

Bugs:


Yes, it is. And the number of people that can't read is amazing. I'm sorry to hear this. That puts a whole new spin on the relationship.

LG

PS, I wasn't sure if BC was discussing putt-putt or real golf...LOL.

BTW, Bugsy, shouldn't you be driving the drink cart at the company golf outing soon? That would get BC to golf more!

LG

LG,

It is amazing. In my business, though, I've found it is not really unusual (unfortunately). He's an amazing guy, who just happens to not know how to read. If he'd ever expressed an interest, I'd have tutored him myself, but at his age, it's not suprising he has no interest (or more likely he's too proud & embarassed). It was tough with getting the kids to understand when they were very young. Now they just know that THEY read to Grandpa. It's rather sweet to watch.

Putt putt or 'real' golf,,,,,,,,,with some of the guys I've seen play, it's hard to tell which is which!


Yes, that's coming up very soon! I can actually envision BC out there with all my 'trashy' friends. He'd fit in quite nicely. And, he'd get the dubious honor of meeting Drac, too!

It may be interesting to see how it goes this year. As you may recall, last year Drac took off quite early and didn't stick around for dinner/drinks. We'll see how hard the Ho yanks the chain this year.

Another interesting thing is that a former co-worker of Drac & the Ho's is now employed with me & Drac. She should be there, too. Wonder if she'll be playing spy for the Ho OR will she be making her own moves??? Oh, this could be a whole lotta fun! Maybe I'll get one of my out of town co-workers to come. I know a really big former football player that would fit the bill quite nicely.

Oh, there I go with those evil thoughts again. I'm just wasting time until Ladybugs softball game tonight.

Drac's attorney has until July 7th to file whatever he's going to file with the court of appeals over the $$ he thinks he should get. Lord knows he needs it pretty bad. I figure at the rate he's spending, he'll be at ground zero by August, and totally in the red by a couple of thousand each month after that, unless something changes in a big way.

I'm sure, though, that the fact they can't afford the lifestyle to which they have become accustom will be all my fault. Especially when he doesn't win in court! They would never acknowledge that even with that $$, it would only buy them another 6 months or so at the rate they are going now.

I can't wait to see Ladybugs and make sure she's ok. Guess I'll change clothes and go walk the dog.

Allright LG, matched your 97 today!

I'll try to beat it this weekend

and yes, I'd do just fine at the "trashy tournement"

just gotta try to avoid stuffing DRAC in a dumpster

I've also always wanted to ride on the back of a garbage truck, maybe I could hook that up

You 'da man, BC!


I have no doubt about that!!


Now that's something I'd love to see! It's something I've thought about doing many, many times myself!!


That could be arranged! Although that request is usually one that we hear from 6-9 year olds! ha! We do take our trucks to schools, Boy Scout meetings, etc, and give kids the chance to explore and ride in the trucks. It's always so much fun.

Surprise, Surprise, Drac showed up to LadyBugs game late. Atleast this time she only missed the first 1/2 inning. She ran straight to me and didn't want to get off my lap. Drac & DSS walked behind where I was sitting,,,,,I turned and made a point to call out "Hello" to DSS. He came over after getting his chair situated right next to LadyBugs dugout. No HO this time.

Our seating arrangement was such that I 'could' get a look at Drac from time to time without it being obvious. However, I found I didn't really want to look. At one point Drac got up and went to his car (he actually brought a cooler of drinks this time). My mom was watching him and I told her "Don't look. Don't let him think we are the least bit interested". She replied that it's hard not to.

I did notice there wasn't any cheering & clapping by Drac - - just a couple of times for LadyBugs. He did make a point to stand up to watch her bat each time. She did GREAT this game. She was 2 for 3 at the plate - her best ever! She did some outstanding base running,,,,,,,,and I caught Drac looking over at me after one particularly great play. I could almost hear him wanting to say, "Isn't our daughter GREAT?". I'm sorry those aren't moments that we can share.

Drac's Aunt called me right when I got to the game, so she didn't talk long. She made the excuse that she needed my address for another family member who wants to invite me to a party in September,,,,,,,,,,but I know they already have my address. I think she wanted to give me the low down on the family event, but it wasn't a good time to chat.

After the game LadyBugs came over and got in my lap. She was hugging, hugging, hugging,,,,, kissing, kissing, kissing me and telling me how very much she wanted to stay with me - that she didn't want to leave me. She knows (as we have discussed it many times) that if she want a change in the schedule, it's going to have to be her asking Drac. I simply said, "Baby, that's up to you." In fact, over the weekend when she found out she'd miss Sunday with me, she said, "Well, that's not fair to ME." OMG! That is exactly the words Drac uses when he's manipulating the kids!!

So,,,,,,,,,she actually went over and told Drac that she wanted to stay with me. I wasn't watching or looking when she did it - I kept busy gathering up my stuff. She ran back over and said that he wanted me to take her to the daycare he's arranged for her by his house, and I said, "we can do that". So, she ran back and told him a quick goodbye. DSS came over and said goodbye to me. I didn't look at Drac as he went by nor did I acknowledge him at all the entire time.

LadyBugs and I went to Dairy Queen after the game - met up with some other girls and their parents and we all sat together. It was late when we got home, but we enjoyed the evening Very Much! I'm really glad she asked & that he agreed. She doesn't want to go to daycare, but I have to go into my office and get a lot done today as I am out of town the next 2 days.

It continues to amaze me the changes in myself with each of these encounters. I really did not care about his presence. It wasn't an Effort not to look his way this time. Although I will admit to noticing that he looks a bit slimmer - and has a lot more gray hair. I have less and less that feeling in the pit of my stomach; less and less the twinges in my heart. He's become such the stranger to me by his actions/words,,,,,,,,and even when I see him now he LOOKS more like a stranger to me.

Does that make sense? When I see him, I've thought to myself "If you had never known him, would you be looking at him with 'interest'". Maybe. But I DO know him and I DO know what he's done to me. I am not interested in THAT man at all.

We walked the dog when we got home & LadyBugs took a spill off her scooter. Scraped her elbow & knee, but in the dark, it didn't look bad, so we kept walking. We stopped to talk to some neighbors and then noticed a little blood, so we didn't stay long. It occured to me when we were walking back that I am SO Blessed. I had a great time chatting with the other parents at Dairy Queen,,,and then I have great neighbors who I've gotten to know better & better. I have a really good life & I feel so blessed. I just thought, "Wow,,,look around Bugs - you have built a new life and it's a good one. It's just going to keep getting better."

Well, I'm going to let LadyBugs sleep in a bit, but I do need to get some work done first. Hope everyone has an outstanding day today!

Good morning,

I love hearing about how your day goes. Look at you, how you are building a life, a life that is happy, wholesome, full of morals and values that are teaching ladybugs the way to model in the world.

This is one of the sadness things that happens. I can only hope for their sake when they realize one day they caused this they aren't destroyed by the fact that you don't share these moments.

This is when we really begint to heal when we can look around and see all our blessings which didn't stop because our moranic WH's chose stupidity instead of G-ds world.

It takes us a long time, but one day if we work hard enough for it, we come out the winner, don't we.

{{{{{BUGS}}}}}}}

You have one blessed day yourself GODDESS.

What a great evening for you, Bugs! You reminded me that it would be a good idea for me to recognize my blessings today, to actuall sit and CONSIDER them.

With court coming tomorrow, I am a bit concerned with what I will LOSE - what will be TAKEN from me.

Thank you for reminding me that there are things that cannot be TAKEN from me and nothing that happens tomorrow will take those blessings from me (aside from time with DDs) and those blessings are priceless and are no comparison to money and possessions.


I've noticed this in myself, too. I've wondered if it is because now we SEE them physically - and not so much just the person we love, where we see personality and character more than we see the physicallity.

I, too, have noticed WH graying hair and thinness.

He appears SMALLER to me. I don't really believe he has shrunk, but even DD14 noticed it (without me saying a word). He does seem to slump a bit.

Maybe he is just not as BIG in our eyes as he used to be.


Ah, Bugs. THIS is something that always makes my heart ache. WH and I have shared these moments at sporting events, too. It's almost accidental. Such an ingrained reponse when you child does something to make you proud, to look at the person who helped you create that amazing little being. The waywards do it, too, because they can't help it either. That is one look the HO will not get to share.

Fox

BC:

/TJ/

You da man! 97! The next course we play I have averaged a 104 on, so I will let you know how it goes.... If you ever get up MD way, we can swing a club a couple of times.

I could ride the back of the garbage truck as well... Sometime around 4am in the morning on April 13th makes it look REAL GOOD...!

/TJ over/

Bugs:

You sound really, really good.

I could have NEVER attended one of my DS15 sporting/Theatrical events without serious sadness of NOT BEING able to share his success with Flamingo.

Flamingo could have held her head high, I, however, would have always been in the back row....

BC said something about stuffing Drac into a dumpster. SDGuy always talked about the wood chipper. I think the WC is little more effective. However. Drac is already in the dumpster. He just doesn't realize it yet. The walls he sees are not streaked with the daily refuse of the last two years, as they should be, they are streaked with whatever DRAC wishes to see. Unfortunately for Drac, the daily refuse is becoming more and more visable every day.

As for your LadyBugs Grandpa (that sounds much better than ExFIL), Flamingo's Library has reading programs for adults. Yes, 60 years ago it was appropriate to drop out and get a job. Pride is the only thing keeping somebody from learning how to read now. Grandpa can and does have a good life. BUT IT could be better. And with alot less effort than he thinks. Drac may be stuck with the genetic material of NOT being able to admit a mistake and correcting it.

OTOH, how cruel and evil could his first wife have been to run off with other man, and leave him a LETTER that someone else had to read to him. Unbelievable.

As Mimi says: "Head high and chest out!"

LG

Hey all!

Queenie,,, you are just the sweetest thing! It always surprises me that the boring details of my life are interesting to you!

Fox, about this -


Thank you. I never, ever, thought of it that way. You are right. (well, until Drac gets a reversal & they have a baby,,,,which I expect to happen as the pressure increases). But no matter what, they will never have anything like Miss Ladybugs!:)

LG,

I oh, so love the Golf talk!

Sure,,,, you 'think' that garbage truck job sounds good right before tax time - - but I'd wager your back, your arms, and your hands wouldn't think so much of it! LOL!

Then there is the wonderful summer aroma! UMMMM UMMMM! The smell of compost cooking is something you never forget! I'm the rare one that gets a good nasty wiff, and says "Yea, baby! Smells like money to me!" ha!



I'm so happy for all 3 of you that you never had to endure this. The truth is, Drac is pretty much 'back row', in that I'm usually in with all of the other parents, laughing and talking. He's off by himself. Tonight I missed practice because I was busy getting ready for an out of town trip. I was suprised to find the he DID take her. Unfortunately, I'll miss Thurs. night, too, as I'm still gone. All told, though, I will only have to miss 1 actual game all season. Traffic court! YUCK!


It is 'pride' for the most part that keeps Ladybugs grandpa from learning,,,,,,,,,,,but it's also lack of confidence.
You hit the nail on the head here,,,,,,,but I'd also add the 'lack of confidence' in the mix for this, too. He covers it well, but I believe he has issues with confidence. A lot due to his Mom's actions,,,,,,,,,,he still feels 'not good enough' - something he blames me for.




Yep,,,,,,,,,,,,and Drac hated her so much for it. Now he's constantly seeking her 'approval'. This is the woman who said if she ever sees me again, she's going to smack my face! Poor thing buys into everyting Drac tells her and BOTH of them have to make themselves feel better by lying about me so they don't face what they've done. Drac still fails to face the fact that he has become his mother in his actions. His entire family talks about it often.

Well, that's all stuff for Drac to deal with over in HoLand.

Bugs reality is filled with light, love, and blessings from above.

I am good these days. I'm just trying to figure out what I'm doing 'right' so I can keep on doing it & keep on feeling so good!

Oh hey.. I got this one!

You're doing it all right Bugs. You're being the marvelous, wonderful, woman, mom, friend, and servant of God that you can be.

We can only do our best, and let God handle the rest. You, my dear friend are reaping the rewards.

Let's keep the good feelings going!

((((Bugs & BabyBugs))))

Wow, lots of activity on the Bugs thread. Glad to hear that you're doing so well, Bugs. And handling things well.

I was crushed for you when I read about the Ho coming to the soccer game. I haven't had to face that yet. At least the SCQ respects that I am and always will be their father.


Yeah, this is another heart-breaker, too. You want to talk about this stuff. Re-live it and share it, and the ONLY person who can really do that is the other parent. It sucks, but it is what it is.

And forget about riding on the back of the truck. I want to drive the truck. One of the ones with the big robotic arm on the side that reaches out and grabs the trash can and lifts it up and bangs the trash into the truck--is that the kind your drivers use? Do you suppose you could grab a WS with that big arm?

Just think about it. Outside, driving a big piece of machinery, bringing joy to everyone. Little kids coming out to wave (they love the trash truck). For a long time, DD5 referred to them as "my friend the garbage truck." My fear is that (aside from the likely pay discrepancy between waste management driver and R&D scientist) they would make me start with the yard waste truck, for which there is no mechanical arm. With all the sore shoulders and arms. Less appealing.

Maybe I could just buy a used garbage truck as a hobby. Do you suppose they sell them on ebay? Would I run afoul of organized crime? Bugs, are you part of the Mob? Can you have people whacked?

Hmm.. for some reason this screams ulterior motive..

hence.. I'm kinda interested in the answer here as well

Bugs - thinking about your daughter's antics at the bball game wanting to stay with you, hugging/kissing you. That was, I believe, her signal to her father that she DOESN'T like OW and implied pressure that she's getting from Drac and OW to accept OW as your replacement.

She was stamping her loyalty all over your face!

When my customers ask me this question, I simply reply, "Well, I'm not saying I am connected but, do ya really want me to send Vito out here?? If ya don't want to meet Vito, I suggest strongly that you sign that contract"

Ya know, those pesky FEDS came in a few years ago and really busted up my 'connections'. Yet, I DO still have 'disposal' capabilities,,,,,,




Kayla!! Thank you for that Visual!! My heart soared when I first read this.

Yet, it also sank after a few minutes. Just because I HATE that Ladybugs is in such a position. To quote her, "That's not fair" to her. Yet, it is what it is. I hope that the 'pressure' you speak of isn't too hard on her. I worry greatly about that. I worry about everything I do and say - - as I don't want to contribute to that feeling of pressure in any way.

I KNOW that she acts very accepting of the HO when she is with them. This breaks my heart, but I do & say nothing. The other day she was asking about "what rain forest animal would you want to be", and she was making a list of everyone's answers. She wrote down, Mommy, DSS, Daddy, and then she asked me how to spell the Ho's name. It almost brought me to my knees,,,,,,,,,,so I simply said "I don't know.". So she asked DSS when he walked into the room. DSS's jaw dropped to the floor and I know that he was looking at me - - I just kept on doing what I was doing and pretended not to hear any of it.

Hard, hard, hard. But it is what it is. I can only control myself.

I returned from the trip to Razorback country Thursday night. Yesterday am, was up early knocking out work stuff when the phone rang. Normally Mom calls me or I call her around that time. She was to be taking Grandma (who is 97) shopping yesterday and we were going to meet for lunch.

It was my DAD. He was letting me know that he was taking Mom to the ER. On Monday, she'd fallen when she was helping him hook up a trailer. She fell right on her breastbone onto a steel trailer hitch. I knew it had been really hurting her, but she refused to go to the dr, saying it was getting better. Well, I KNEW better than to believe her, but she was still fighting it.

Seems yesterday am, she couldn't move. She couldn't breath. She couldn't even stand to have anyone touch her.

Long story short,,,,I went to the ER. I had a really nice FIGHT with the ER doctor who wanted to start the tests before her pain was under control (he even accused her of not being cooperative!) UGH!!

Finally got the pain calmed down. CT scan. She has fractured her sternum. Nothing they can do for it but pain meds and muscle relaxers.

All of the pain meds made her sick,,,,,,,,,,so now she's throwing up while suffering the incredible pain of a fractured sternum!

Let's now add on top of this wonderful scenario that the CT scan also revealed a 1 1/4 inch spot on her lower left lung. They gave her a TB test yesterday which they need to read tomorrow at the hospital. That means a car ride back there, which I doubt she will be able to manage. I told her that we're going to take a digital picture of her arm and take that to the hospital!

She sees her regular dr on Monday afternoon to discuss what steps come next.

To say we are worried,,,,,,,,understatement. I AM trusting in God on this.

While I do NOT for a moment believe He made her fall, I do believe He didn't send His angels to catch her because He knew that she needed to have this CT scan. We needed to find that spot on her lung and there was no other way we would have known about it- - at least not for a very long time.

So, it is such that we have found out about it. He has a plan, too, for how it is going to be dealt with. We just have to trust in His plan. MOM most certainly does. She told me so last night.

I gotta run,,,,,,,,,,,,,so much to get done today to catch up and then need to get to Mom's.

Oh - - did I mention that today is Mom's Birthday???

All prayers are welcome and appreciated!!

You and your mom are being prayed for.

Oh, my, Bugsy, that is worrisome. I am praying for your family.

About Ladybugs (I'm so glad you call her that). One thing you CAN do for her. Tell her you love her no matter WHAT. Maybe more importantly, tell her that you KNOW she loves you.

Repeat when necessary.

Off to mow. Much love.

Praying for you and your family, Bugs.