For those that think rainisgone is a troll, why not just stop posting to her.

And let those that think they can reach her "waste their time with her". Because the time you spending going back and forth with her is time wasted that you can be helping those that "really need it". So why waste your valuable time with her.

If those that think they can reach her do; then we are looking at a marriage on the way to being recovered. If not, they haven't wasted your time, just theirs. And let them learn their lesson.

rain,

There are things on this forum that I think you find useful to help you through this. One of them is a NC letter. It is done in the form of a letter because it doesn't allow the OM the opportunity to change your mind. It is also approved my the BS and sent. After that, there should be no contact between the WS and the OP. None, not even to verify the letter. By you not responding you will verify it.

If your H continues to post, one if the things that he should learn here, is to figure out his part was in getting the marriage environment to the state it is in now so he can make some changes that will help restore your M.

Good luck here and please listen to the productive help you can get here.

S&C

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it. However, can you help me understand what the acronyms mean?

OK S&C.

It's just that having someone pouring salt into your wounds evokes these kind of responses.

Someone else help the **edit**

iam,

Yes I understand. Maybe a good idea to put both 72dude and rain on ignore. Just a suggestion to help keep out the salt.

Blessings.

S&C

Mahalo for the link intro. rain, you can click on the linl intro provided to get the lo-down on the abbr.

They areen't puring the salt into my wounds. I don't have the personality to let things go but I also don't have the kind of personality where people like that get to me. They dont bother me.

WW= wayward wife

WS= wayward spouse

M= married/marriage

OM= other man

OW= other woman

R= recovery/relationship

D= divorced

BTW= by the way

DS= dear son

DD= dear daughter

KWIM= know what i mean

OP= other person

OPS= other persons spouse

A= affair

Well these are the ones off the top of my head... but there somewhere in another thread, and for some reaon I can't put my finger on which one it is... I would have to do some searching for you. But hope this helps anyways?

I read back through this thread and found some really good posts amongst the others.

Now that it's a little more calm, why don't you go back to the beginning of your thread and post about those?

I'm sorry that your first experience here didn't seem very welcoming but there really are people here who are excellent at helping others. That's why I come back at times to read around the sight.

Best wishes for your recovery, rainisgone.

rainisgone,

Click on the user name, click view profile. In that area you will see "ignore user", click on that!

This is counter productive to your Recovery with your BH.



How sad that some of the veteran posters on this board have shown the new posters that this kind of behavior is acceptable!!

This used to be a place where a wayward could get some productive help using Dr. Harley's principles. Especially considering he has written his books for both the BS and the WS.

Don't give up rain....once the dust settles, you and your BH can get some good help here.

Rain,

You remind me of my younger sister, she too had an affair and a major gambling problem. She dang near wiped out my parents estate as a matter of fact, and she now appears to have a drinking problem.

I see so many similarities with what you have posted and her. What strikes me as the most similar, is that she has not yet learned that you can never get what you are lacking within from outside sources.

What you are missing in your marriage and in your life, is only a reflection of what you are missing within. Another person or relationship can never fill that lack.

You seem to me to crave excitment. You must find a healthy way to meet that need for excitiment.

You seem to crave adoration. You must find a healthy way to meet that need for adoration. Once you do this, your husbands love and adoration for you will be more than enough.

Seek to find out how the women on this thread who are helping you have done this.

I'd get a book that Kayla is always recommending called "The Four Corners" for starters.

You already know that no other man can give you what your husband can. You know this, that is why you won't let him go.

Find the things you can do that are conducive to being married to fill the needs inside of you, so that you can bring excitement to your marriage, and to your home.

This is what it means to be successful. Not a new R.

Stick around and talk to all these people here who can show you how.

Once you learn to meet this lack inside of you in a healthy way, you will know love and believe me, you will fight for your husband and marriage with all you've got.

I hope that makes some kind of sense. (In a hurry, my DD is here and I must go)

For your information...Most of those scolding you have felt the sting of betrayal that you never have.

If you read here you will find that some have said betrayal by a spouse is worse than rape.

If you ever are 'unfogged' you can come back and apologize.

thanks...that helps!

I understand what you are saying. I am being scorned and I understand why. However, there is a difference in being scorned and being just plain hateful. You are hurt and you are right. I have not been betrayed like you. But if you send the kind of messages like you sent, then take the responses without whining.

**EDIT**

**EDIT**

Rain,


I'm sure your H wanted you to get real MB help. Re-read through your post and if you "ignore" the users that were attacking you, there is some good stuff in there from some MB posters that have been on this board for quite some time.

Don't allow the sting of another's pain get in the way of the original intent of what your H wanted you to do. That would be disappointing.

No...I am saying there will be no need for me to EVER apologize to you you incompetent man.
Oh you silly skank! I was not apoligizing!

If I were your husband, you would be on the street with the rest of the wh0res. [/quote]

ENOUGH!!!

The purpose of this forum is MARRIAGE BUILDING.

Thank you.