Oh Mimi,

I'm sorry for your acquaintance who is walking through this time of pain.

I will add them to my prayers and hope that the protection and blanket of love from G-d is felt by both of them and that whatever happens they will understand and come to rely upon G-d to help them through this.

{{{{{Queenie}}}}}
How are you? I missed you!
Queenie, you continue loving him bcos it is unconditional love, that is not based on wanting something in return ie the selfish kind and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you remember that you are special too. God has given you the strength to keep on loving despite the pain it brings and that makes you special, and God must love you a lot to give you that strength.

Hey Brown,

I have missed you too. How are you? I'm going to pop over to your thread and see what's happening.

G-d certainly has a lot of FAITH in me that my capacity to love someone this deeply will survive this and crap in many ways, still grow.

WTF is that all about. How can I love a man who is dead to me more and more. Not for me to answer today, that's for sure.

Queenie,

I've read all of the posts, but I wanted to reply to this one in particular -


The sermon today at church was about What to Do, When you Don't Know What to Do. I think you, and many of us here, feel that way often,,,,,,trying to figure out our path.

It gave me great comfort to hear that the 'instructions' were pretty much what you & I and a whole lot of other folks are doing.

#1. Pray - always and unceasingly ( seek Him & His will constantly)

#2. Be Patient (He is always on Time)

#3. Be Positive (Trust in Him. Don't deny your circumstances, but trust that HE has a plan to work it to our good)

#4. Be ProActive (Don't let the unknown in 1 part of your life paralyze your ENTIRE life. Keep up with all other aspects of your live and leave this one thing to Him)

While we are praying, trusting, and being positive, if we carry on with the other aspects of our life, the answers will come. Getting snared up in the questions doesn't free us to do what we need to do. Carry on, knowing that the answer will come.

I know that IRL folks look at us like we are totally NUTS when we say anything about still having any spec of love for our WH. That's ok. I know what I know. I accept what I know. It works for me. Most people around me accept that. If they don't, I don't spend much, if any, time with them OR it's just not something we discuss at all.

It is hard after seeing the WH to not think about still loving them. What I do is mentally picture a beautiful, mahogony trunk. It's like a huge, old fashioned steamer trunk. The kind with brass straps and a huge key lock on the front. I picture putting the love I have for Drac inside that trunk and locking it up tight. I then keep the key on a golden chain around my neck. It is nice and long so that I can tuck it inside where no one can see it, but I know it's there.

This is how I handle accepting the love that I have for him. It's locked away. The horrible monster he is can't touch it. He doesn't know where the key is and he never will. If someday the man I love shows up, I'll have the key. If he doesn't, then one day I will likely take the chain off my neck and put it away, too.

Time will tell.

What I'm trying to say is that instead of beating yourself up for the love you feel, protect it. Put it away into a safe place so that you can carry on with the rest of your life. It doesn't mean you STOP loving him, but merely that you put space between your day to day life and that love.

Does that make any kind of sense?

WONDERFUL, BUGSY!!

Bugs,

...thank you.... what you say and how you say it helps a lot!

Hi Queenie!!!

Enjoying our little "heat wave"? My poor puppy is laying in front of the fan.


We are such weather wimps here in the PNW

Bugs, This is absolutely amazing, thank you.

I understand. I do and will keep on doing what I am doing.

There has been a little activity that my DD brought to my attention. I actually am not reacting to WH's drama as much anymore.

Evidently WH is trying to get ahold of my cousin who is the executor of my trust fund. I have no access to that money until I retire and actually don't get money from it. I think I am finding he is desperate more and more.

He did contact YS by email to invite him to come visit him. The first time he said it would be nice and then told YS that he would have to be respectful to OW. When YS made a comment, WH invited him again saying it's been awhile and he would like both of the boys to come. But then again he reemphasized the boys would need to be respectful of OW.

My boys learned how to be disrespectful to me from their father. I find it ironic that they are supposed to go to their trailer and treat her with more respect than they treat me at times or WH is going to get on their case.

One thing is apparent, financially he is in trouble. My money is due tomorrow and so it will be interesting to see how that happens.

Hey JT,

It's actually a little too hot for me. I am still at work waiting for my boys to come pick me up. They made a stop at the reservation to get fireworks for Friday.

I found something interesting where you posted and want to call and talk to you about it. Are you around today?

Send rain, ladies....not floods just several days of steady rain....Ok, two days a week for 6 weeks.

You got it Cinders. I'll pray for rain.

Cool - and, while you're at it, pray I get in and out of emissions testing really fast at 7 a.m. in the morning and that I get out of tag renewal really fast midday tomorrow. My tags expired at midnight last night. YUCK!!! Nearly $100 down the tube.

And we are praying for this because your boss can be a jerk and not understand you have a life and need to take care of yourself, yes?

Hi Queenie-

I'll be around after 7. I'd love to talk. I'm not melting as bad today, but I don't like it too hot either.

For the rest of you out there, that would be anything over 82!

(yep-absolute weather wimps. You should see us when it snows!)

Yes....I requested some Friday. Boss opened the email today and hasn't bothered to reply about any of it. Stupid idiot jerk.

I think that's part of being a boss. They get to be a jerk.

THE BOSS
May not always be right,
But is always the Boss

JOB = Jerk Of a Boss

What???? You gotta be kidding me?


WTF?? Excuse my french! And your boys said,,,,,???? That's one of the classics for the WS fog babble!

It had to hurt to hear this. But ya know what? YOU have EARNED the respect of your boys VS having WS enforce it. Yes, he should have required it of them long ago. Yet, in the absence of his filling his role as father and husband in this regard, YOU stepped up to the plate and taught your sons appropriately.

Goddess Queenie!!

No sadly, I am not. I can email you the whole conversation with my daughter. It's pretty interesting.




I don't know if I have taught them well enough, but I continue to work on it. Hurt, nothing he does seems to hurt me anymore. In a million years I would have never thought I loved him so much and could take such pain and still hope he comes home. I really must be someone so frickin stupid.