Hey Bugs,

I am praying for your mom as well. Isn't it a miracle where we can look at the bigger picture in life and understand how we alow our good parts to see what G-d is telling us and learn to act accordingly.

The way you are with LadyBugs, is awesome. When she grows up, she is going to fully get how gracious and incredible you were in how you handled this.

You are a model for me in how to not put your own pain, desires and hurt before your child. When the urge to bash the OW or do something that isn't as kosher with WH strikes me, I am going to picture you lady GODDESS and as myself how would Bugs handle this.

Thank you for the lessons of grace and dignity.

You and all of yours are certainly in my prayers, you special Lady.

If we keep our eyes open, we can actually SEE the MIRACLES when they are happening. All part of GOD'S PLAN...not for us to ask WHY...we have to PROCEED..which you are sooo GREAT at doing...

Thank you ALL for your thoughts and prayers!

Good news is that Mom is feeling soooo much better! Thankfully we have the fracture pain under control. She's going to see her doctor tomorrow and we hope to have some idea what the "plan" will be moving forward. I want to know in more detail what they see on the CT scan in regards to the spot, and then what further tests, etc.

She is in very good spirits. She's trusting God, as we all are. We have great faith in that this was found at this time because of Him. He will be in full control of this entire situation. Keeping our eyes on Him FIRST.

I will be honest, though, I did have a few slips when reading that the 3 out of 5 of all people diagnosed with lung cancer die within one year. I can't deal with the idea of being without her. She is my very best friend. It is from her that I have learned what it means to see someone act with dignity, strength, love, and grace.

So, rather than go there, I smacked myself and reminded myself of all of the above. We don't know yet WHAT is going on and as Mom says all of the time, "We will cross that bridge IF and WHEN we come to it." And so we shall.

I got all of my outside work done yesterday and then went to the grocery store. Went to Moms and cooked. I made a big pan of mostaccoli, prepared a roast w/carrots, onions, and potatoes that Dad could put in the oven this morning, cooked some ham for him to make sandwiches, and made some potato salad. That should get them through a few days, at least!

Baby Bugs left me a vm a little before 5pm, which I didn't know I'd gotten until I left Mom's (cell service there is spotty). She left another message that I missed just before 7pm (I was walking Beau). The agreed upon time to call is 8pm. Seems that Drac took them to his mother's yesterday and they were spending the night. Nice of him to let me know that in advance.

I returned the call and his mother (who wants to smack me in the face) answered. I said hello, may I speak with my children please? I kept my tone very nice. She was flustered, as if she didnt know who I was (honestly, she is rather dingy and may not have known yet it was me). So, I told her, "XMIL, this is Bugs. May I speak with my children please?"

She replied that they were 'walking around here somewhere". I asked 'well, where is Here?". She said they were at a carnival. I replied that I did not know that they were going to a carnival nor did I know that they were going to be with her. She answered defensively with "Well, I don't get to see them very often."

I WANTED to say, "well then talk to your SON about that".

Instead, I said, "Well, I'm sure that they are having a fantastic time. I think it's just GREAT. Please have them call me when you find them". She said she would and I hung up.

Ok, I am hoping that God will forgive me for that lie,,,,,,,,, I don't think it's great that they are with her at all. Nothing I can do about it, so I just hope & pray for the best when it happens. They did call me right back and I spoke with both kids.

I had thought Ladybugs told me they were going to see Grandpa. Well, turns out they DID go see him on Friday night. Drac, Ladybugs and DSS went to Grandpas and spent the night. Drac then drove them down to his mom's on Sat. It didn't sound like the Ho was with them?????? I find it hard to believe they would be apart for a night????

Whatever. A small part of me wants to jump on that tid bit of intel - - but the Goddess in me is holding up the big red STOP sign. It means nothing right now. While it 'may' be a small crack in Happy HoLand, cracks are irrelevant to my life.

Well, I need to get caught up on work before Ladybugs gets home. I missed filing several trash reports on Friday - urgent stuff ya know??! ha! ha!

Again, thanks for the support and prayers. I'll update tomorrow when we know more (well I HOPE we know more!)

Just time for a quick post, but apparently the HO has abandonded HOHouse already!

OH MY...LOL....

Let the DARKNESS prevail...

Keep your focus, Bugsy. Don't let the madness mess with your peace.

That's what makes this MESS so bad for the little ones..just when Little Ladybugs was trying to figure it all out...

Thankfully she has a MOTHER that will ALWAYS be there for her...

Bugs:

What kind of lung cancer are they talking about? Have they obtained a tissue sample?

What is it they told you they saw on the CT scan?

LM, MD

LM,

We don't know yet if it IS cancer, and we still have hope that it is not.

All we know at this point is that a spot/mass (they did not know which it is supposedly) is in her lower left lung. It is 2.8cm in size. They did a skin TB test, but yesterday said it has to be re-done as they could not read the results from the first one.

She goes to her g.p. this afternoon. I know that the statistic I read is for all lung cancers and includes all stages, so I'm trying not to really think about it. Until we really know what we are dealing with, there's no point making guesses about anything.

Thanks so much for asking,,,,,,,,I'll provide whatever info we get this afternoon later today.

Well, regarding the demise of Happy HoHouse - - I think I've done pretty well. Ladybugs mentioned that they had been shopping for a tv over the weekend, but didn't find one. I was taken aback, as I KNOW that Drac had bought tvs when he moved. She said, "Well, the Ho took the one downstairs and in their room".

Took them where, I asked? "To her new house. They broke up."

I said, "Oh. Hey Ladybugs, we gotta take the garbage out because tomorrow is trash day. Can you help with the recycling?"

That was the ONLY discussion we had. I asked NO questions. I was VERY PROUD of myself about that.

I called no one to tell them and I don't intend to call anyone nor will I bring it up or discuss it or ask any questions. I KNOW it's going to be Hard not to do that, but I am determined. I've left it in God's hands and it's going to Stay there. I will wait for Him to tell me IF/WHEN I need to DO anything.

Drac is still Drac unless he proves otherwise. He will be going through withdrawl from her for some time yet to come. Nothing really has changed in regards to how I need to do my Plan B. Except, I AM a bit more hopeful that the man I love may appear someday now that she is gone. However, at this time, the Best that I am hoping for is that we can eventually come to a decent co-parenting situation with the HO completely out of the picture.

Time will tell. Mimi, I know exactly what you are talking about. Look at what the kids have gone through. I am praying, praying that he stop and look at his kids. I pray so hard that he NOT bring another woman into their lives. If he wants a revolving door on his bedroom, well that's HIS choice - but he needs to keep them away from the kids.

I DO wonder who cheated on who to cause this breakup. OR if it was that he is out of $$. Or if it is just the natural destruction of an affair. I have a feeling the details will come out someday. They are not important to me right now, and may never be. It's been a mere 6 month strech this go around for them. I knew it would happen, but I was a bit surprised it came so soon.

Of course I am HOPING that this helps him hit rock bottom. I pray he sees what he has done; what he has become; and that he take steps to fix himself and to then attempt to repair the damage path he's made this last year and a half.

However, I am not counting on it. I am not waitiing for it. I am not going to be paralyzed by it all. I will not be drawn into the ensuing drama of it all.

In regards to it all, I will be quiet as a church mouse. I will keep on keeping on with my life. That is what is best for me and for my kids.

It won't be easy,,,,,,,,,but so far it's not as hard as I thought. I didn't post last night because I laid down with Ladybugs and fell asleep. I think that's a good indicator of my ability right now to keep with my plan??!!

Still,,,,,,,,,I will admit to doing a bit of a Happy Dance when I was out of Ladybugs sight! ha!

First of all just want to say I'll be keeping you and your family in prayer for sure. Both of my Aunts have been going through a rough patch so I certainly understand how dealing with that on top of everything can be.

Despite it all though you're shining like a Goddess in the distance. While I can honestly say I don't know how much strength it'd take not to want to go and pick up WW once her situation blows up, the head agrees with everyone else that darkness must prevail.

Yer simply amazing Bugsy!

I think that the breakup is great news and hope that it holds.


But this is what you need to do. You already know that.

Hoping for good news for your mom. . . .

(((Bugsy)))

Bugsy, the HoHouse implosion is great news! You are so right, though, stay out of the drama. Drac has to learn his OWN lessons and it's best if you aren't a part of them. He must take responsibility and if you are around, it is way to easy to blame you. Drac has much healing of his own to do.

Sorry to hear about the concern with your mom. Look into and ask the doctor about a PET scan.

Prayers going up for you and yours.

Fox

Wow. That was quick.

It must be pretty extreme if she went so far as moving and taking things.

What a mess he's made of everything. Yuck.

Thank God BabyBugs and DSS have you.

Praying for your mom!

Bugs, I pray that everything turns out WELL for your mom. I think NOT knowing is the scariest part.

As for DRAC and the Ho... I say hallelujah!

But get ready... guess who's going to come callin'...

Bugsy:

Whatever they find with your Mother, I hope it is either benign or caught early in the procees, so that it can be dealt with. Theres some fighting to be done, and it seems that Mom is a fighter.

Ladybugs is "dancing her loyalty" to you because you are the only one in her life still displaying it to her. Keep up the good values that you keep showing her with your actions.

Exits at HOhouse? Just more drama.

Until Drac is sitting in the dark, without Ladybugs, possibly without even DSS, as he has "gone his own way in search of HIS happiness" will he realize that the one he is running from, is him.

Bleesing to all you touch!

LG

PM:

if this happens:



Should she answer?

I don't really think so. My opinion? Why sign up for all that?

This is Drac's second marriage, that he has ended. Finds a HO not even four years into the 2nd marriage.

He hasn't seemed to have learned anything yet.

So, I wouldn't answer the call.

Not for a VERY long time.

LG

I would think he's in VICTIM mode at the moment. He gave up everything for her and she left just when they were getting set up like they wanted. So, I don't think the call will come right away. I'm sure he doesn't want anybody to know, unless he's sooooo selfish that he wants people to feel sorry for him after this gross injustice.

all I have to say is

but I agree, it won't be long before he reaches out to see if there's a crack in the door.

BE PREPARED!!

LG,

Oh no, no, no, she should NOT answer. I was just pointing out that fact because DRAC is notorious for leaning on Bugs for every little thing, especially when it comes to kiddos. I'd say he had a very long (if not impossible) way to go before Bugs ever graced him with an friendly audience.

Not for awhile. He's still addicted to the Ho.

It won't come as a knock on the door. Because he is wayyyy too proud for that.

It will come in the form of escalation. More calls from kids to her on weekends (because he thinks that makes HIM look good to Bugs) more involvement in DSS (because he knows thats what Bugs wants) more emails about nonsense. Just more contact. More and more and more. Testing.

I don't think Drac is the sort of wayward to admit his wrongdoings until he feels safe with Bugs again. He'll try to work his way back in without admitting his faults. He'll try to come back without remorse.

I think you're right.