Since my discovery of the affair of my husband and my friend that had been going on for 13 years on Mothers Day Weekend, I have had a horrible time dealing with this. It came attached with the admission of five others before her which all encompassed 26 of our 37 years of marriage. I am not doing well, I will agree. I am seeing a new doctor on the 16th who is a specialist in treating people who have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and I was diagnosed years ago by a country doctor and have since been found to have MS, so I am not sure which of these diseases could be making this worse, if either.

I cry a lot. And I have a lot of anger at my husband. I have loved him faithfully and completely my entire married life. I would never have done this to him, and find it impossible to believe that he loves me, as he says he does. If I had not caught them, they would still be riding bikes twice a week, having sex and using the cell phone that she provided for him so that they keep in contact.

I feel like a fool. A VERY angry fool. The ppl he cheated with, of the 6, all but 2 were personal friends. It kills me.

I have gotten physical but have found am controlling it with medication until I see this new doctor in a week. However, my children want to have me committed. If I will not go and be admitted into a local hospital psych ward, they "say" they will go before a magistrate and tell them the things that I have said like "I could just kill you for what you have done to me". etc. All pretty normal stuff for my situation but they are going to use it. I did threatened to harm myself, but told them no, I did not mean it. But to make a long story short, they think that they can make enough of an issue from this to have me committed. If they do this, I will never speak to them again. Ever.

Can anyone give me any advice please.

Jane,

Is there a medical facility in your area that you would be comfortable with that could assist you in getting the bi-polar stabilized. Perhaps with the doctors constant care, you may find the healing that you need in order to break free from this.

I know you have been suffering and that's not good for your health at all.

Perhaps this would be an opportunity to get away from it all. You are an adult, they can't keep you there without your consent, but maybe walking in freely will get the round the clock care that you need to finally discover the best remedy to assist you.

So sorry for your suffering.

onlyUcan

If you have the resources, you may want to talk to an attorney, just to learn what you can do in this situation and prepare.

I'm sorry...but I agree with your children. You threatened self harm and acted out violently towards others.

Being an inpatient is in your best interests right now. You would do well to sign yourself in before they have you 302'd. You will have a lot more say over the direction of your care if you do this.

Get healthy.

this is not accurate.

Medc, you beat me to it. Jane, I really think your best bet is to check yourself in until you're stable. Next week is too far away.

{{{{{{Jane}}}}}}}}}

If your bipolar is that serious I would see if you can either
1. get an earlyer appt or
2. go to the hospital and get the help you need.

More then likely they will evaluate you and decide if you should be admitted or not. However to get you stabilized is the best interest on meds/counseling.

I know its not easy handling mental health and what is going on. I hope you get the help you need.

Even as an adult they can keep you there against your will by the courts.

Your children are not doing this to hurt you they want to see you get the help needed.

At the same time get an appt to talk to a reg counselor and get you husband involved if he wants to see you in better condition he WILL do this.

medc,
That's what I was always told about my daughter as an adult. But maybe if it ends up being court ordered?

Sorry to T/J.

Don't wait for an appointment. Go right now to the hospital and let the doctors decide your treatment. You need immediate treatment and your children know this and love you and want you to get help.

In my opinion many of the things you have said are appropriate responses to finding out such devastating things. You probably are not the most stable person right now and to be honest if you were then I would really think something was wrong with you.

You are reacting emotionally because your world is tumbling down around you. Get help dealing with this.

Jane,

Let me start by saying that I too ended up in the hospital... 2 days after d-day. You are not alone. The reason I ended up there was because I was in a rage and was going to go "get" OM. I decided to stop at the Mental Health Clinic. The DR. asked me some questions about whether I was going to hurt myself..."no", whether I was going to hurt WW..."no", was I going to hurt OM..."yes"...enter police...off to psych ward. Your admition to wanting to injure yourself is not unlike me stopping at the clinic that day instead of acting out my feelings to hurt OM...it's a cry for help. I was pretty calm about the police taking me to the psuch ward, until I actually got there. I ended up in a room, by myself, at the worst possible time to be by myself. You need to ask yourself if being with friends and family is more beneficial to you right now, or if being in the hospital (and risking being alone in a room like I was) would help you more. For me...I could NOT handle being held in that room. I somehow talked my way out of there with the psychologist, and went to a friends place for support.

Anyway, your story kinda touched me a little bit, because of that awful experience that I went through. Just want to tell you that you are not alone in your reaction to the discoverance of the affair, and I hope you can come through this experience okay.

Take care

In all honesty, your choice of name (InsaneJane) reflects that you recognize a problem.

Don't wait for your family to do it to you.

Choose to do it yourself.

It will be empowering and you will be seen as somone who WANTS help...not someone who has been FORCED to get help.

Good Luck.

committed

Yes, if you voluntarily commit yourself for mental health help, you can get the help that you need now, and then voluntarily leave, after you have been helped.

committedandlovi is correct. Your admittance to others, of your thoughts of doing harm, is just you taking the first step to finding help on your own...keep the process going in that direction by continuing to discuss those thoughts.