How about Scooby Doo that was one of my favorites.

And how many theme songs can you all remember?

Like the one to The Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island.

I'll add only this:

"Conjunction Junction, what's your function?"


LG

Just do not get too lost in your books. My YDD when she was 15 or so she was at home by herself and i just had a pan that had grease in it to make french fries on the stove.

She turned on the grease and then sat down and started reading and got lost in her book and set our kitchen on fire (everyone was okay and the house was fixable so all was good) but i tease her all the time and tell her that i should not have taught her to read

I loved that too. They had all different ones.

I am only a bill sitting here on capital hill.

Hookin' up words and phrases and clauses.

How many of you know the words to the preamble of the Constitution because of the song? I bet more of you than actually realize it.

The best preamble to the Constitution ever was Barney Fife

Hi SL,

Catching up on your thread.

I also watched cartoons and not only on Saturday morning. My parents left early to go to work, and they were also on weekday mornings...so bugs bunny and company were my 'breakfast' buddies! They cracked me up and I just realized, it was not such a bad way to start the day after all!

So thanks for the walk down memorylane!

Sounds like you are doing the best you can, SL. Sorry to hear that PWC already has a new GF and has already decided to expose your DS to her, but like you say, it is what it is and out of your hands...best to focus on what YOU can do!

((((((((((((((((SL))))))))))))))))

I went out with friends after work. Came home to find my thread pulled up by my pal, Luna. I really logged on to see what email Drac sent to Bugsy, and found my thread sitting there.

I'm doing well. Still a bit angry with PWC, mostly for the pain he had inflicted on his child, and my working to reassure DS that I'm going nowhere. This whole thing has done a number on DS.

Sometimes, I hear him (DS) shooing people away, trying to discard them because it seems easier. There is a girl in daycare that he LOVED the first week; now he's talking about not wanting to LIKE her anymore. I told him that the best relationships require work, and, barring any physical violence or badgering, he would need to forge a better relationship with her (Stella is her name--go figure--very "Streetcar..."). He's six. It's early yet. They have a long summer ahead of them.

When DS has issues with how his Grandfather or Auntie discipline him, he cries that he doesn't care anymore, wants them gone. It sounds eerily like what his father has done; discarded everybody, including DS, for his own happiness (fleeting though it may be). Boy, it pisses me off when I hear DS talking like this, NOT because I'm angry with DS. NOPE. It makes me wanna knock the [censored] out of PWC. Arsehole.

I take time to talk to him about the power of words and actions. What more can I do? He's six.

DS has come out of bed and told me his tears won't stop, so I'm gonna go lay down with him for a bit. Little guy is HIGHLY emotive.

Thanks for keeping an eye on me, Luna. Much love,

--SL

SL -


That breaks my heart. I am sooooo sorry. It must be very hard to see DS hurting so. I wish I could just wave my magic wand for you. (wish I had one for myself too!)

I hope you and he can find some comfort and it sickens me that PWC has already got the GF around him.

I'll send cyberhugs your way......

You are doing a good job with DS.

Hi SL,

Glad to hear you went out with friends.



Keep focusing on this part, SL, and trust DS that when he gets older...he will have had a 'healthy' model to consider.


I hear you, SL. Knowing that our kids have had a WS as a parent and model, one is definitely concerned about how much influence this will have on them, and will they learn to value and commit in their relationships.


You are doing the best you can, SL. You are choosing to take the HIGH ROAD...working to become a better person...trust yourself and your DS to pick up on all of that. You will both be fine.


See what I mean?


Hey...that's what cyberfriends are for!

(((((((((((((((((((SL)))))))))))))))))))))

SL,

Not much hurts like seeing WS influenced behaviors in our kids. I understand what you are talking about.

Your DS is a sensitive little guy, and I'm so glad you are there for him to help him work through all of this. I think you are doing a great job.

I do want to point out that some of this behavior, in particular that with Stella, is normal stuff with kids his age. I see it with Ladybugs. YES, it is somewhat influenced by the behavior they they have seen exampled by the PWC/Drac's of their lives, but not totally due to that.

You are doing the exact right thing in explaining to him about how relationships 'should' work and by setting a good example. It is a tightrope that we walk in these areas - - when it comes to handling this training as a normal course of life, yet adjusting it because we are aware of the effects that infidelity has had on them, while at the same time, not OVER reacting on that side of things.

I, personally, go insane sometimes thinking about it.

Again, you are doing GREAT!!!

Hope those snuggles helped! I know Ladybugs loves the snuggling, but I get just as much out of it as she does (and sometimes probably more!)

{{SL}}

Good work, SL. I don't have much to add that others haven't already said. Good friends you have around here.

Even DD13, who is the most volatile, will STILL sit with me on occasion and just snuggle in. The heart just swells in those moments.

They are still trying to figure out their emotions. In regards to their PWC/Drac/WxH and just real life in general. DD13 is in a highly self-protective mode, strikes first before she is struck (figuratively). - but when she is struck in a vulnerable spot, she crumbles faster and harder than DD14, who puts herself out there. People are tougher on her because of her tough exterior - which makes the armor stay up even more.

I wish they knew just how much we understand.

You are doing well with DS. He'll figure life out as it comes his way. He'll always know where the lighthouse is.

((((Miss Lucidity))))

Fox

Morning, Ladies.

Thanks for the reassurance. Most times, I'm flyin by the seat O my pants with DS. My ire was raised last night; probably just my REACTION to DS and his situation. I've just noticed a theme with DS when he finds a relationship he has to be tough. He tells 'people' that he doesn't like them anymore and that he wants them to go away. I know some of it is just being a kid and not knowing the power of what he is saying. I know things will smoothe over with time, especially in the daycare situation .

At home, and with family, I'm working on how we show respect to others, especially his family. He has a hard time taking 'orders' from anyone but me. As i recall, I felt this way as a child, too. I'm pretty sure my mother did the same thing I'm doing now; talking about how he wants to be treated and letting him know that he must treat others with care and respect in order to get that in return (Golden Rule).

Anyway, it was a little bump. His tears hurt more than anything else. It's so hard to see him crying so much he can't really speak. Then he does that blubbering thing, where he talks through the short breaths while crying.

((((SL and DS))))

I really don't have much to add as I'm still catching up on everyone after my long weekend away, but you really look to be handling the situation with DS the best you can. I've had a handful of occasions in the last several months where DS will come to me when he's here, crawl into my lap and cry.

It really does a number on those heartstrings.. all at once you're angry at PWC for putting him through this at all.. somewhat comforted to know that YOU are DS's safe place where he can allow himself to be emotionally vulnerable.. but at the same time it's emotionally draining for you, because you understand that there's very little you can do to stop it.


I'm not sure which one of the 'gang's' threads I read this on, but it's stuck with me.. that all we can do is be the best parent we can be, teach them the best we can, be their safe place, and be there to help them pick up the pieces when they are hurting.

In all respects there SL.. you're top notch, and DS will always remember that you are his refuge, his safe place, his example.. and most important of all.. his Mom.


"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children." - William Makepeace Thackeray

Grrr. Man, I hate waywards.

(((SL)))

SL:

Don't you think your boy is actually GRIEVING about you and PWC? That would be NORMAL and EXPECTED and he probably doesn't even have the words to tell you. He probably misses his Daddy at night.

I'm positive he's grieving. I know it to be true. I just want to help him along. I know I cannot stop the feelings, the pain, but I can soothe him. That's part of my job; but it's one of the most draining parts. I wasn't OUTWARDLY angry, just boiling inside.

BTW, y'all should read Hu7668's stuff. He sounds EXACTLY like PWC. He is 6 mos into withdrawal and still longing for those feelings he got from the affair. It's excruciating to read, but it is educating me a great deal. He's getting some great advice, but is just not hearing it. He's so defensive. It triggers me to no end.

So sad.

yea i was thinking the same thing

I bet there are some good children's books to help him with this...that you can read to him at night...

I'll look into it Mimi. There is, of course, some great info online that I am reading. Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, it's triggering me. Divorce is no joke. It stinks. To tell you the truth, at this point, I wish I could be divorced tomorrow. I am so over all of this trauma, and I know divorce is just more trauma. I have another 9 months to get to before I have been legally separated long enough to divorce.

I suppose I can file anytime, but it will not go thru until the nine months is up. I'm considering doing just that.

I have been at this long enough to know that I have no fight left in me.

Hu's thread has my head swirling, and my IRE up. He sounds just like PWC. If you read his thread, you will have an idea of what it was like for me. It's eerie, really.

I felt a little sick to my stomach reading it today. It's abusive stuff. My heart goes out to his wife and child. How miserable this is for them. This is the first time that I've been here that I read about a wayward just like mine, and it's devastating to read. Too many similarities, right down to the whole bit about him needing to decide if he's in or out. Blech.