Because I have not put effort we have just barely touched the surface. We have honored passover and Haunaka. All my children received Hebrew names, I even have mine. We have told the stories Moshe freeing the Jews and the trials set forth in Egypt. We have said the blessings and have even lit the candles for Shabbat. But I want to learn more. And be more and do right by G-d.

Do you know the Shema prayer?

There is so much to learn and observe that the message here is to totally keep it simple. You are doing great and this actually is a perfect time for you with High Holidays coming up.

Unfortantly no I do not know that prayer.

I try to read and learn off line and share the stories and information with my children.

It's the central affirmation prayer that you can teach your children to say when they rise up and once during the day and then at bedtime.

Let's keep it simple....


Sh'ma Yis'ra'eil Adonai Eloheinu Adonai echad.
Barukh sheim k'vod malkhuto l'olam va'ed.

Hear, Oh Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.
Blessed be the Name of His glorious kingdom for ever and ever.

What you are doing with your kids is perfect. I started so simple because I didn't know ANYTHING. I swore my mother made pork and sauerkraut for Yom Kippur.

How old are your children.

Do you live on the west coast?

A_P_F,

Check out this link when you get time. If you have an MP3 player, you can listen to them any time. Or you can just listen to them on your PC.

Classic Sinai

Mark

Thank you Queenie and Mark. Its so nice to have help in direction.

Queenie,

OK. I got my notes posted for you to check out when you get time.

Mark

Hi Mark,

How do you come up with these links. That was cool what you gave Pretty. I am going to have to check it out myself.

And I already saw it, copied it, pasted and printed out for my bedtime meditation tonight.

Thank you.

Aaron is 11
Etan is 5 and
Bethanee is 2

We live in san antonio

You ladies enjoy your chat. I'm going to read a bit and go to bed...

Mark

Thanks dude, talk to you tomorrow.

Sleep well and good reading or vice versa....

You are the best sir...

Ok, you told me that. I can't believe I forgot that...

My older son is Aaron.... He is almost 19

My daughter is Mikhaela, she is 22 and my youngest is Michael Or Moshe, he is 15 1/2

What kind of name is Etan?

Well actually his name is Ethan Moshe hebrew name is Ami Moshe.

Aaron Samel american name is Aric Steven

Bethanee Rahel is Sara Razil

While I was looking for a girl hebrew name I came across Ethans version in hebrew and its E-tan I love the fact I can call the kids by either names and they answer to me thats cute. sorry.

I love your daughters name. Its very pretty.

I love your names.

We call her Mikki. She is NO Kayla. They are graceful.

Mikki is Mikki and I love her to death...

Ethan was named after my DH boss who passed away 6 days before he was born.

Arics name came from him picking it and the middle part is a family name

Bethanee Rahel is already hebrew but gave her the honor of having my grandmothers name and my moms name.

I am blessed to have them in my life and give me wonderful trials that are added to it as well...

*laughing*

Children are G-ds blessings as siblings are gifts to each other.

I need to get to sleep, but still have my prayers and meditation to read. Will you be on here tomorrow?

Yes I will stop in tomorrow between a full house of kids and before going to work.

You sleep good tonight my new friend and thank you.

Hi Queenie,

Thanks for stopping by my thread. I may have misplaced your number too. I'll email you and we'll exchange them again.

Hope you have a great weekend...

Hope the two of you saw this by Spacecase -

Here's one from Frank Pittman's "Private Lies":


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the book Private Lies by Dr. Frank Pittman, he has a very good summary of reasons why second marriages between persons involved in an affair very seldom succeed.

Generally he notes that disasters are only inevitable when people use romance to jump from marriage to marriage without a rest stop between. He says that there is something inherently doomed in those marriages that begin as marriage-wrecking affairs.

He noted that in his practice while over half the people who get into romantic affairs end up divorced, only one-fourth marry the affairee. It is likely that over three-fourths of these affair marriages end up in divorce. He says that there is a greater likelihood that the divorcing partner will be back with the original spouse in five years that that the romantic affair will be a stable marriage at that time.

He gives 12 reasons for this phenomenon:
• Intervention of reality
• Guilt
• Disparity of sacrifice
• Expectations
• General distrust of marriage
• Distrust of affairee
• Divided loyalties
• The nature of infidels
• The nature of affairees
• Romance
• Scapegoating the betrayed
• Unshared history

Out of 100 couples, (Pittman’s sample in his book private lies)
He said 50% of affairs couples divorced.
But, only 12% (12) actually married OP.
And then 75% of those failed (12*.75)= 9
Thus only 3 married betrayers are left

These are the defects he lists for marriages between the spouse and the OP.

1) The intervention of Reality: Divorce in these marriages tends to take place very early in the marriage. During th affair, the infidel and perhaps the affairee are in a state of intensely stimulating unreality. The second marriage itself seems to be a swithc that throws the lights on and illuminates the mess that has accumulated. It is as if the romance had seemed real, while the divorce didnt. Only after the remarriage did the divorce become real enough for the lovers to see that it was all a horrible mistake. The affairs that become marriages typically were so intense they were never questioned at all. During the divorce, reality never set in sufficiently to let the romance be evaluated and questioned. The romance was so romantic on one ever got around to asking if it was sane.

2) Guilt.. People who have wrecked a family have inflicted much pain, and they have a lot they could feel guilty about. As reality sets in, they see many things they were overlooking. They may have felt no guilt during the affair and divorce, and the guilt they feel after the romantic marriage may come as a suprise to both of them. It is generally assumed that people who dont permit themselves to be happy must be feeling guilty about somethingm and are unhappy as a way of punishing themselves for their misdeeds. One aspect of guilt is the rluctance to enjoy ones ill-gotten gains. Another aspect of guilt is the urge to return to the scene of the crime and in some way make amends. As a romantic newlywed resists the joys of the ex-mate who was deserted so blitheyly, the new mate can feel disoriented and betrayed.

3) Disparity of sacrifice... Divorces are expensive luxuries. Whatever the financial cost, the emotional cost is far greater. Anyone after losing that much, will be drained, exhausted and depressed. It is particularly difficult when the exhausted survivor of a debilitating divorce marries the triumphant winner of the struggle. If the romantic partner is marrying for the first time, and especially if the courtship has been treacherous and insecure, the new mate will be ecstatic. A new couple may feel a disparity in what had to be sacrificed to bring them together. The partner who has never been divorced may have difficulty understanding the complexity of emotions toward the previous family.

4) Expectations.. Then there is the feeling that anything that cost this much emotionally had damn well better be worth it. The greater the sacrifices, the greater the expectations from the new marriage. Now that the promised land has been reached, it should flow with milk and honey. But instead, the new couple are just 2 tired warriors with no fight left in them. Whatever these people were expecting, the best they are likey to find now is the ordinariness of real life, the dubious peace between glorious battles. The more people enjoy the battles involved in wrecking and escaping marriages, the less they are likely to enjoy the business as usual of the new marriage that was the destination of it all.

5) General Distrust of Marriage.. Of course, anyone who has been unhappily married is likely to develop a strong distrust of the institution of marriage. People whose marriages fell apart during affairs are likey to end up distrusting marriages rather than distrusting affaris. People who distrust marriage have a vey hard time being in one.

6) Distrust of affairee..It might seem appropriate for someone to go out with them, or even to marry them, but not quite appropriate for someone to have an affair with them. Affairs are considered dishonerable acts, and peope who feel guilty for having affairs believe that they are dishonorable and their partner must be dishonorable too.

7) Divided Loyalties..During the affair tnd the divorce, the romantic couple isolate themselves. It is not only the betrayed spouses who are erased from awareness, but also the children, the families, friends, anyone who attempts to pull the romantic couple from the quicksand of their affair. But after the remarriage, there may be a longing to reestablish connections with families and friends and this may be more difficult than expected. Each close relationship and some that were amazingly casual may have to be renegotiated in view of the hurt caused to others.

8) The nature of infidels.... People who get themselves into affairs have some specific characteristics that must influence the course of their subsequent marriages. Each kind of infidel is different. Most of those who end up marrying an affair partner are romatics who drift hypnotically through this romantic high without taking much responsibility. Romantic remarriage seldom works, not only because of th unrealistic nature of romance, but also because of the reality-avoiding nature of romantics.

9)The nature of affairees.... Affairees want whatever they want from a relationship, jsut as everyone else does, but what makes them unusual is that they seek their goals among the married rather than the single. They choose partners who are not in position to marry them, and who are engaging in the relationship at great risk. People like this are clearly angry with marriage, and perhaps with the opposite sex. They believe marriage doesnt work, and they demonstrate that by breaking up another marriage as they find a partner for themselves.

10) Romance.. People who believe in the chemistry of romance dont bother to learn much about the physics of relationships. When the romance begins to fade, romantics know little about how to solve those problems that they have relied on romance to transcend. It is painful to watch a romantic relationship dissolve. It happens so suddenly, and so totally. These people have alredy demonstrated that they would rather get divorced than learn physics, so it is far easier for them to follow the same pattern.

11) Scapegoating of cuckolds... During the affair and divorce, the romantic couple conspired to convince each other that the defective marriage was the fault of the cuckold. To acknowledge otherwise, now that remarriage has taken place, seems a betrayal of the rescue fantasies that fed the romance.

12) Unshared history... Even if the new marriage survives all of these obstacles, there is one further characteristic of all second marriages: The absence of a shared history that brings familiarity torelationships that began earlier in life. If a romantic marriage has wrecked a previous marriage or two, the history of the relationship is painful to both partners, and possibly somewhat embarrasing to others. The new partners keep thinking about it and justifying it, but it is hard to talk about lightly, in the familiar, safe manner of people who can tell their old war stories without guilt. However intense their commitment, people who share a guilty past arent totally rpoud of their new marriage.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

B,

Saw this on the other thread. I do believe it is true, however I think it just takes longer in some cases. I don't believe for a second that the individuals in affairages are any happier than they were in their M. I just think some of them stay together rather than admit they were wrong. That must be those 3 out of the 100.....