YES, I truly think WW thought I would STILL be here for her!

I warned her for weeks (Plan A) about the consequences of her decisions. I told her she was acting like a teenager...now, she has proven I was right! How irresponsible to not only have an affair, but to do it without ANY thoughts of BC!

The kids DO NOT know yet!

As of yesterday, she did agree to give me FULL custody. I know her mind will change though over time...that's why I want this done QUICK!!!

Actually, I WISH I could feel sorry for her...but, I swear, I know I tried to warn her over and over and over! I actually feel a little relieved that my decision has been made for me. No turning back now...no bitterness at all.

The kids and I are doing great. We were out of town last weekend for a baseball tournament. We are going out of town this weekend to a theme park a few hours away. We are going to the beach the first week in August. Not sure how I will tell them yet...but, they need to hear it from ME first!

Ab,

My heart hurts for you, for your children, your WW, and the unborn child.

Prayers for each of you along the painful road ahead.

But remember, inevitably, there will also be brighter days ahead.

{{{AB}}}

Glad to hear you all are doing as well as you are!

It's frightening to realize that if you had let WW come back home a few weeks ago when she was suddenly feeling "repentant", that she could very easily be trying to pass this baby off as yours now.

Yeah, I thought of that! THANK GOD I never let her come back!

You don't think that this is a trick, do you? She is demented enough to "fake" a pregnancy to get you back.

So sorry for this turn of events, but hopefully it will resolve the unknown and give you a chance to move on and heal with your children.

Sigh!

Oh, she IS that demented, but, how would "faking" an illegitimate pregnancy "get me back?"

Maybe she thought I would just tell her to come home and we would pretend it was "ours," but...that AIN'T happenin'!

Where is "Mr.Soulmate" during all this? Does he know he has a baby on the way?

Has the world always been this corrupt?

The amount of OC from A's on this board just overwhelms me.

I'm glad that you were in Plan B and that you have been working on preparing yourself for the worst. I think that has helped you in this latest discovery.

I just wonder if it was a ploy to get you to talk to her and a test to see if you would take her back no matter what.

I thought that she wasn't seeing OM, so how long has she been pregnant?

I wouldn't trust a word she says til you see the proof.

But if you get what you want in the D, I suppose that's all that matters at this point.

Her salvation thru Christ is in her own hands, thru her own repentance process.

Yes.


Actually, I think boards like this one FINALLY give a BS SOMEWHERE to talk about this.

When I first found out, I was the only one I knew in this situation.

Now I know there are thousands and thousands of us...but where the stigmata was placed upon the betrayed and the poor children, it is FINALLY coming home to roost where it belongs - upon the adulterers heads.

Not sure where OM is now or if he knows. WW just said that he is "not the man she thought he was." To me, that implies they have still at least been talking.

Of course my response was: "He was supposed to be a preacher who was willing to sleep with a married woman...what kind of man did you THINK he was???"

Oh aw/3, I'm so sorry! I've been keeping up with your story since we came here around the same time and I'm just rather amazed. I probably shouldn't be, but everytime I read about another OC, I'm shocked. It's really the children who get hurt the most in these situations...it's really sad.

BTW, I also agree with the others who say that your children are lucky to have you. Good luck, my friend

STANDING OVATION!

How old are you and WW?

Be careful that this child born "to the marriage" isn't stuck on you for child support.

Release her and let her flail and support her offspring from this man. The child is her problem, not yours.

aw3,

I am so sorry about this turn of events. How is the counseling for your children? Maybe a counselor can help you with words to tell your children.

Blessings to you all,
WH2LE

P.S.
I must admit that my first thought was that she could be lying. Perhaps not to get YOU back, but the OM. sigh. Either way, truth or lie, this is an AWFUL situation for ALL concerned.

I'm 36, WW 32. Don't worry, in our state, adultery as grounds gets you D in 90 days. She can't possibly be due that soon!

I have an appointment with my attorney on Thursday at 2. I plan to ask for everything and that D be expedited as much as the law allows!

In Texas, you can't get divorced when the wife is pregnant. You might want to ask about that too.

I too have been following your story and I am so sorry. I do think that you and your wife need to tell your kids together. No matter what type of deal breaker this is, your kids will have another sibling and this child is just as innocent as yours are.

As well, check your laws because some states claim at time of conception. Although if she is any kind of person she will not put that burden on you and you can ask for dna testing. This om should and must pay child support at the very least for this child. He played and he needs to be accountable as well.

Sadly if she told him, he probally ran for the hills when she told him. Afterall, this act alone will show the world he is not the saint he has probally made himself out to be, or the great person in his community. It's reality of his actions as well.

Prayers to you and your kids. I'd approach the counseler with this as well before you tell the kids.

Just spoke with WW (obviously, Plan B is over...it's Plan D or bust!). She actually THREATENED to fight me in court for custody of my kids and that she would have the baby removed.

Who does she think she is??? The only thing between me and the adoption right now is approval of my finances. At this point, I doubt she can influence that at all. In fact, her name has even been removed (by DSS) from the Foster License...they won't even discuss the baby with her anymore!

I calmly explained that she had expressed the desire to use the same attorney and that I would be glad to compromise as much as possible on visitation. I demanded FULL custody and that she continue to pay the same amount of support she has been for the past 3 months (she HAS at least really been doing that!).

I explained that, if she insisted on FIGHTING, I would reveal everything that has happened between her and the kids and make her adultery look like the most moral thing she has done!

Basically, I called her bluff and convinced her that things would NEVER be ONLY her way again!

Here's the kick, she decided to take a job only working weekends with the same company. Therefore, what since does it make for her to have the kids every other weekend?

The kids still don't want to see or speak to her...and they don't even know about the pregnancy yet!

I would be willing to continue every other weekend and alternating Tues and Thurs, but my kids are going to resent me if they think I didn't fight to do even LESS.

Any advice???

Hire the most ball-busting attorney within 100 miles.

Don't compromise.

Unfortunately, you married an unstable woman and you must now protect your children from their own mother.

Don't fall into some delusion that she won't hurt her own children for her own benefit!

My advice is to look at this as a war to protect your family.

I think they're old enough for you to sit them down and explain how things are going. The best thing you can do is get their input. Make sure you explain, though, that while you want very much to do what they want, sometimes decisions have to be made for adult reasons or legal reasons. But reassure them that their happiness is your number one goal. They'll feel good hearing it from you (about a billion times) no matter how things turn out. This is the ONE time you need to be inclusive with them.