MG,

Please, please do not choose to believe what isn't true...

You are her husband. You are irreplaceable. We all are irreplaceable.

Know why? You are real. You really know your W (not your WW...yuck). She really knows you...you are in a real marriage...DO NOT buy into anything she says, 'k?

You are the real father, too. No way you are replaceable to your son. Ever.

Hear her babble as her...OM is a fantasy...you have pictures of fantasy...he doesn't really know her, just as you didn't at the beginning of your own courtship...clean slates, all fancy self-images and not real selves, 'k?

Know that A's die usually within two years or less...because they really are not real. Choose wisely what YOU believe...get used to it being separate, different from the fog WW is in...you gotta hold onto your stuff as yours, act from your choice to save the marriage...and stay aware of what you are assuming, thinking and believing...so you aren't kicking your own tushie with fantasy, 'k?

LA

Just a quick note to let you know that Dreamthing's only other post on this website was asking for advice on how to begin a lesbian relationship. Not exactly the stuff MarriageBuilders is made of. Can you say TROLL?!

Of course, it's still possible it's someone you know IRL who is trying to throw you off scent.

Either way, BEWARE..just saying..

If I came on here to get advice with an dier situation and I want the honest truth, not some fluff. I am not saying that everyone here is wrong, like a few people claim I am, I am just stating an opinion. Last I checked, thats all the original thread starter wanted. I would say more but I do not want to ruin the original topic, which should be everyone posting in this thread main concern is, not what I say. You are being told what you want to hear and sometimes it is hard to hear the truth, but sometimes the best thing!


You do not want to know what else I would say, nor will I share my situation with this site since I got an overwhelming welcome from some of you.


To the original thread starter - Good luck. All I ask of you is to open your eyes a little before proceeding. A lot of peoples lives can be affected because of it but more importantly, you and your son. If someone came around that put your son in danger or situations not suitable for a growing child, would you welcome them around again? This situation is complex because of the child but your motive should be the same - take care of yourself and the child. I commend you on trying as hard as anyone possibly could to make it right and fighting for love but there comes a time when someone has to look over the horizon - at the bigger pitcher. I am not saying that you need to get away or that your relationship is beyond saving but I just want you to open your eyes and realize that this COULD BE the case this time. Good luck to you and everyone else.

Hey MogRod,

I have been here 8 years and have seen countless times stories much worse than yours recover their marriages.

Scroll on down to the left bottom corner of this forum. See the number of members? 54 THOUSAND members and growing daily.

Dr. Harley knows human behavior, specifically marriage and adultery and all the nuances. Between he and his children (who also counsel) they have 50+ years experience in dealing with infidelity.

If your marriage is going to survive, you have found THE best place for recovering it.

Jo

Actually DreamThing, MogRod came to MARRIAGE BUILDERS (owned by the Harley's) to get advice on how to recover his marriage USING Marriage Builders' principles.

Thats how we support people here. Using the site owner's principles.

Jo

Dreamthing,
Start your own thread and post your sitch. We will respond accordingly.

Mogrod is a good man. he loves his wife and son, and he desires to work on his marriage. This is not only because of his love but because it is the RIGHT and HONOURABLE thing to do. This board is an excellent place for him to be. Our role is to not only support each other thru the fragile things, but to guide each other into not only becoming better spouses, but also better people.

Statistics are on Mogrods side regarding the success of Mrs Mogrods affair.

dreamthings, mogrod's marriage is far from over. What is doomed is mogrods wife's affair. 95% of affairs FAIL within 2 years. So her affair has the greatest chance of failing, not his marriage. Most marriages DO recover from adultery and his is no different from anyone elses. We have untold marriages here that were saved using these principles. There is no reason for him to think that his marriage is any different. It is not.

Secondly, he has an autistic son that desperately needs both parents. Divorce is DEVASTATING to children, so he has a moral obligation to do everything in his power to save his childs family.

And lastly, I would point out to you 2 things: MB does not believe in marriage at all costs. There are hopeless cases and sometimes the definition of success is divorce. This is not one of those cases. I have seen far worse than this come back from the dead.

2nd point: mogrod came here to get MARRIAGE BUILDERS ADVICE. Did you see the sign on the door? He did not come here to get "advice" from some new poster who clearly knows nothing about MB named dreamthing. He came here for MARRIAGE BUILDERS ADVICE. Please keep that in mind.

dreamthing, no one is fooled about who you are. We know you are modrod's wifes friend. If you are any kind of "friend" you would be trying to talk some sense into his W. His wife is on a path of destruction that will destroy her son's family. A REAL FRIEND does not help her friends BE BAD. That is the act of an ENEMY. Be a "friend" for a change.

I do not know MoGrod or his wife.
I am not his wife's friend so you can stop the assumptions.

Everyone on this is paranoid that I am someone who is trying to persuade him or something, this is ludacris.

Do not talk down upon me bc of my opinion. YOu think what you think and I will think what I think!

If you won't just go away, please at least start your own thread. This is so disrepsectful to the thread starter.

Why is this the only thread out of 151728 you are posting to?

Looks like I pressed the right button!!

isn't that the rapper?

It's easy to get along and play family when everything is fun and Disney. Smiling at the beach, smiling at the zoo, smiling for the cookouts and fireworks. Happy, happy.

What happens when the "fun" runs out and real life has to be lived? During times of sickness, financial difficulties, short tempers due to lack of sleep or any other normal thing... Nobody will care for your son like you do and THAT is what makes a REAL Dad. Don't think for a moment that your son doesn't already know this.

Ignore is a grand tool.
Use it.

Well as long as they look at the "big pitcher"!

mogrod, in addition to exposing to the OM's WIFE, I would also expose to the OM's PARENTS so they know he is playing around with a MARRIED WOMAN who has abandoned her marriage for an adulterous affair. They need to know this so they don't allow your W to darken their doorstep.

Secondly, if your W is exposing your CHILD to her filthy, sleazy affair, I would contact a lawyer and get custody of him. Let her explain to an angry JUDGE why she is dragging her child out of his home and into her sleazy affair. You can often get it entered into legal separation papers that the children not be exposed to adultery partners. If you are in a southern state, they often don't put up with that nonsense.

Many waywards try to introduce their children into their affair in an attempt to normalize it give it a false sense of respectibility. They USE children in this manner to facilitate their affair. I would NOT ALLOW her to use your boy in this way.

DreamThing wrote:


Well if that is true, start a new thread and tell us about it.

Just be warned, we will advise you by using MARRIAGE BUILDERS principles and not using by-the-seat-of-your-pants advice.

What you'll hear from us is not what most folks, who have never experienced adultery & survived using MB, think intuitive.

Jo

Excellent advice!

DreamThing wrote:


Very telling the way this is written. "I" ... as in "I know you and care about you".

Bit of a slip there, eh DreamThing.

Jo

I absolutely agree!!

I had thought about commenting along these lines but I wasn't sure if anything could be done while they are still married and not separated. If a lawyer can help you to protect your son from this affair, enlist one!!

When the A ends (and it will), your son will only get confused *again*. He doesn't need this inconsistency in his life, he has plenty to cope with as it is.

Enough!

Dreamthing, I don't know who you are or your motives. If you are really trying to help, give me advice and a different perspective - Fine. Thanks and I appreciate your effort.

But, I came here for a safe haven, a place full of people that have been in my shoes and found a way to not only save their marriage and families but to work through all the issues that created the mess and be better for it, for themselves and their children.

You mentioned, in one of your altered posts, that maybe I should try something different because what I'm doing is not working. Well, that's why I'm here. I've begged, I've pleaded, I've cried, I've tried to reason to her, I've given her motivational quotes about marriage, I've given her proven studies on marriages, divorces and the children in the middle of it all. I've yelled, I've screamed, I've been ultra nice, I've tried to show her how much I am willing to change to fix our marriage. I've written a 5 page lists of things she loves (she asked me if I knew what she loves). I've written a 4 page list of things I love about her (she asked me why I love her). I typed them up and given them both to her. I have suggested therapy for us, I've even given her two questionaires from this site (LB's & EN's) so that we can both fill them out, compare and talk about them so we know (especially me) where we mis-stepped in the marriage. I sit in my big, QUIET house and all I can do is think of ways to fix this. Think of what is the one thing I can do or say that will get through to her. It's a roller coaster ride of emotions as I'll go from one extreme to another. I miss my family so much and it kills me.

You know where all this has gotten me and my marriage? NOWHERE!!!

So, I'm coming here TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT and guess what? It's PROVEN. I'm coming here for real advice, guidance and support from people who do not know anything about either one of us.

She is not a villain, which it seems you're making her out to be. She has done some VERY questionable things over the course of the last few months. She is confused, she is hurt and her emotions are all out of whack and priorities have changed in her head because of these things. It's like an alien abducted her mind. But, what type of husband, what type of christian, WHAT TYPE OF MAN AM I if I turn my back on her now? WHAT TYPE OF MAN AM I to not honor my vows? Love is strong, love is pure and love is forgiving. You're right, this all may not work out like I would love it to, but I will not give up on my wife and the chance for my son to have the pure, whole family he deserves.

Applause!!!
Take a bow.