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first off...screw you and your attitude of late.
Second, it wasn't me that was twisting the intent of the discussion. I made a comment about how people are fooled by WS at times and there are times when a person is an unknowing participant in an affair. EE responded to my post by saying that isn't true and gave his/her reasoning.
If you don't like where my thread is going, I suggest you get off of it. Trust me, I won't miss your input here.
Last edited by medc; 07/16/08 03:19 PM.
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The only time that I would have respect for an OP would be if they RAN AS FAST AS THEY COULD from the WS once they found out. me too And I'm sure you chased that woman off! I can only imagine. yeah, there was a swift response. 
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Let's be clear, shall we.
I didn't say they didn't know. I simply don't give them any slack for being ignorant of the facts.
Like I said, being ignorant can be deadly in todays world.
They may not know. But ignorance is seldom, if ever, a good excuse.
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medc, EE responded to my post by saying that isn't true and gave his/her reasoning. Not true medc. This is what he said... However, I still don't buy the totally clueless excuse. Sleeping with someone is pretty serious and can have some pretty serious consequences. So wouldn't it be best if you checked your partner out BEFORE hopping in the sack?
That's a pretty big thing to no know about the person you are sleeping with.
And if they are lying about it, wouldn't you want to know before you became emotionally and physically involved with them?
They may not know. But ignorance is seldom an excuse. What if he/she had AIDS instead of being married. He didn't say it wasn't true. Said he didn't buy it and that ignorance is seldom an excuse. See you're twisting words and putting words in people's mouth (post) that they didn't say and making an argument out of it. If you don't like where my thread is going, I suggest you get off of it. Or you can just put me on ignore. Have a nice day. S&C
No man likes to have his intelligence or good faith questioned, especially if he has doubts about it himself. - Henry Brooks Adams
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medc, Do you really think that's 100% true? That if the WS lies to the OP that they are completely innocent in it all? Don't you think that there would be some clues somewhere that the OP is choosing not to see to convince themselves that everything is on the up and up? My WH told the OW that he wasn't married or was divorced. There were plenty of signs that he WAS married and I feel like the OW chose to IGNORE them. I think an OP is never 100% clueless. Otherwise, I totally agree with what you said. I'm pretty sure that even if the OP doesn't know the WS is married, 100% of them know they are not married to the man or woman they are sleeping with. So the I didn't know garbage of any OP means nothing. They know they are not married to their partner and that makes them in the wrong right there. assumptions all around. Since this discussion was not about a religious perspective and the pitfalls of premarital sex....the comment about 100% of the people not being married to the person they are sleeping with was misplaced. I didn't know garbage of any OP means nothing Good people have premarital relations...sorry to burst your bubble...there are good people that are not bound by religious perspectives and such. BUT, as I said before...not all affairs are sexual...so that is another reason this was misplaced. I do see that I read something into the post that wasn't there...but as usual S & C...you are only trying to stir the pot even further.
Last edited by medc; 07/16/08 04:05 PM.
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medc, I do see that I read something into the post that wasn't there...but as usual S & C...you are only trying to stir the pot even further. I was simply trying to point out where you misread something (which has been known to happen sometimes). I didn't want you to look like an id10t and have your thread go off on some tangent away from the topic. Which you seemed to have recognized. Good for you! EE point is still valid in the discussion. Having sex with someone's daughter before she is married is considered a no-no even to those that don't have a religious back ground. So if they paid attention to that, they would not even have to worry whether or not the person they were screwing was married or not. Even you have to agree that if a person didn't have sex with someone they would not need to worry whether or not they were married. Whether or not someone that is "good" can have a pre-marital relations? We if you mean by a relationship you are correct good people can have a pre-marital. If you mean relations as in sex? Well that depends on your moral code. EE spoke from his and I guess you spoke from yours. S&C
No man likes to have his intelligence or good faith questioned, especially if he has doubts about it himself. - Henry Brooks Adams
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Having sex with someone's daughter before she is married is considered a no-no even to those that don't have a religious back ground.
Whether or not someone that is "good" can have a pre-marital relations? We if you mean by a relationship you are correct good people can have a pre-marital. If you mean relations as in sex? Well that depends on your moral code. EE spoke from his and I guess you spoke from yours. I find that quite an extraordinary remark but you are entitled to your opinion of course. Before you immediately think it's because I'm an FWW I "think" premarital sex is okay (which I do), my H who is the BS in our relationship has no problem with it either. In fact he had a heck of a lot of pm sex before we met as young people. I didn't. My DD lives with her fiance and has done for 2 years. They are marrying in January next year. Her father and I have no problem whatsoever with her living arrangements. We are extremely happy for two very nice young people. Very nice and very good young people.
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Jen,
Most religious people will disagree with you about pre-marital sex. Dr Harley would also disagree with you about "living in sin" before marriage - it dramatically decreases the chances of a happy marriage.
It is quite amazing that the moral code we live by while single seems to be thrown out to accommodate an affair though.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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I thought the last dig was not really called for.
I don't even know why I responded really. Just the ridiculous thought of my dear, sweet daughter not being a "good" person I suppose.
I really don't want to get into this. I just wanted to say that my very dear, very moral H has no problem with his DD either.
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I don't happen to think that PM sex is moral for me. I do not however feel compelled to judge others based on my beliefs regarding this subject.
I know a lot of good people...many that I call "friend" that do not agree with my beliefs about PM sex. Doesn't make them bad people.
Last edited by medc; 07/16/08 09:31 PM.
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I thought the last dig was not really called for. THat wasn't a dig at you or any other FWS Jen. It's merely a statement of fact. I don't even know why I responded really. Just the ridiculous thought of my dear, sweet daughter not being a "good" person I suppose. I made no judgement about good or bad, naughty or nice. I really don't want to get into this. I just wanted to say that my very dear, very moral H has no problem with his DD either. Our view on this would obviously differ and I'm not making any judgements about Rob either. A father is supposed to be the guardian of his daughters virginity.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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I don't happen to think that PM sex is moral for me. I do not however feel compelled to judge others based on my beliefs regarding this subject.
I know a lot of good people...many that I call "friend" that do not agree with my beliefs about PM sex. Doesn't make them bad people. I agree 100% MEDC.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Whether or not PM sex is moral, NOT having PM sex with your future spouse is like buying a car you haven't test-driven.
You might get lucky, but it's unwise at best.
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Whether or not PM sex is moral, NOT having PM sex with your future spouse is like buying a car you haven't test-driven. No intelligent woman would marry some loser who required her to perform in bed like an unpaid wh*re before he married her. If he wants a good sex performance, he can go pay a hooker, because this lady doesn't put out for free. Treating sex like a animalistic performance act instead of an act of love and passion misses the point entirely and relegates the sex act to nothing more significant than 2 jackrabbits getting it on. Great sex is a result of LOVE, RESPECT and PASSION, not some cheesy sex technique. Any guy who ever said that to me would be shown the door.  [after I kneed him in the groin]
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Whether or not PM sex is moral, NOT having PM sex with your future spouse is like buying a car you haven't test-driven. No intelligent woman would marry some loser who required her to perform in bed like an unpaid wh*re before he married her. If he wants a good sex performance, he can go pay a hooker, because this lady doesn't put out for free. Treating sex like a animalistic performance act instead of an act of love and passion misses the point entirely and relegates the sex act to nothing more significant than 2 jackrabbits getting it on. Great sex is a result of LOVE, RESPECT and PASSION, not some cheesy sex technique. Any guy who ever said that to me would be shown the door. [after I kneed him in the groin] Thank you for saying what I was looking for the words to convey. You said it so much more..uhmmm..eloquently. 
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Whether or not PM sex is moral, NOT having PM sex with your future spouse is like buying a car you haven't test-driven. No intelligent woman would marry some loser who required her to perform in bed like an unpaid wh*re before he married her. If he wants a good sex performance, he can go pay a hooker, because this lady doesn't put out for free. Treating sex like a animalistic performance act instead of an act of love and passion misses the point entirely and relegates the sex act to nothing more significant than 2 jackrabbits getting it on. Great sex is a result of LOVE, RESPECT and PASSION, not some cheesy sex technique. Any guy who ever said that to me would be shown the door. [after I kneed him in the groin] Mel, you really need to break out of your shell and learn to express yourself! 
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Mel, you really need to break out of your shell and learn to express yourself!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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ITA, tabby1. Thank you for clarifying.
BS 44
DH 42
M 17 yrs.
2 children: 15 and 10
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