My WH told me the OC is already born. It hurt me really bad. I don't want my M back, but just the simple fact that an other women took over and trapped him. I feel so disgusted because every time he sees me, he cries to me saying he loves me and wants our M back. After a second Child, he still can't get his life on track? Why does he keep hurting me?
I have a suggestion - ready or not!
this whining calls for a firm boundary on your part
"every time he sees me, he cries to me saying he loves me and wants our M back" .... no no no no
Enforcing your boundary means YOU take action -
Who made You his human trampoline? His human punching bag? His human kleenex? no no no no
Each and every time he starts any of this emotional spillage you stop him before he finishes his first sentence
"NOPE - NOT ONE MORE WORD"you hold up your hand in front of your body like stopping traffic
each and every time - you interrupt him
"NOPE - NOT ONE MORE WORD"If he tries a third time - you pick up your stuff and exit without explanation
It's like training a dog - consistent approach with a reliable results - he'll be trained to stop trampling over your heart without a license!
He'll test you for awhile - but without the "payoff" of upsetting you - he'll soon tire of his dramatic performance without an audience!
It is totally within your ability to STOP listening to his whining. His whining hurts you and drags you back into HIS situation. ~blegh~
I really hope you listen to this - it's a skill you will enjoy the rest of your life - disallowing emotional dumping by this pathetic man - it's HIS stuff to endure - you are not a drive-through therapist
Pep