Hi Q
I hope u r ok. I am sorry that I have been completely oblivious to what has been happening with you. It's been a bit too crazy at my end, but I have never stopped thinking about you.
Hope all is ok.
God bless you

Dont' give it a second thought Brown, taking care of yourself and walking through this for yourself is what is most important.

I know you are there thinking and praying for me and I truly appreciate it.

{{{{{{{BROWN}}}}}}}}

I sell cell phones...

My son, now 22 and recently graduated with a degree in business was asking me about what to do about his cell phone, which is in my name. The contract ended on Tuesday this past week.

My answer to him was this..."You can do anything you want to do about a phone. You can sign up with any carrier, on any plan for any length of time. It's yours to do as you please...But it will be in YOUR name and it will be YOUR signature on the contract and it will be YOUR phone bill to pay. You can take the highest priced plan with the most expensive phone on the highest priced network and it won't matter to me at all, since it will be YOUR problem and not mine."

This is the same one who a year ago said to me, "I'm sick of working just to pay my bills." My answer to him was "I'm sick of working just to pay your bills too."

This year he said he thought he might wait to look for a real job. He asked me "Do you know how long it's been since I had a summer off?"

When I stopped laughing, I asked, "Do you know when the last time it was that I had a summer off?"

He said, "That's different."

And I replied, "Why? Is it different because I'm older? When I was 22 (his age, but I NEVER say, "When I was your age...") we already had one child. When I was almost 18 I left my high school graduation, skipped my own party and went to work at 11 that night at the railroad. When I was 16 I worked part time during the school year and full time all summer. When I was 14 I worked part time and babysat in the neighborhood two nights per week so I had spending money. My last full summer off with nothing to do was 1966. I painted my grandfather's two story house that summer... The summer before, my parents built a house and I helped with painting, plumbing, electrical stuff and hung siding. I also learned to hang dry-wall and tape and mud the joints. So you think you should have an entire summer off to do what?"

His answer sounded like "Fraznatruckdripdoomphmilkenfreepindwazits..." or something along those lines...

Children are such a blessing!

Mark

Thats good you and your son talked Q.

My 11 yr old listens to his dad more then me. I get no respect from him so I feel it all the time when I talk with him...

Anyways,

(((HUGS))))) and hope you are having a better day today.

Mark:

I didn't know you and I had the SAME SON?

21 isn't what it used to be..even 25 isn't what it used to be...

Mimi...SIGHING...

Whew! I'm tired reading this thread. All the stuff I have to look forward to. YAY! NOT!

Queenie, hang in there. Maybe you should just cut off ALL the cell phones. Kidding, of course, but what did we do BEFORE them dang old things, anyway?

SL,

If it were up to me I would have NEVER gotten them in the first place. That was the H's desire, not mine.

I HATE them....

Yeah, we survived before. Texting is not for me though I can do it....will do it when necessary. Thursday, when I was 6 hours late getting out of town and my mom's car was seriously ill, it was a blessing to be able to text w/ my bil who takes care of mom's money. But I could have done it by phone and would have preferred that. But, it was helpful. However, had he not had a cellphone and I not had one, life would have been very difficult. I could have ended up w/ a serious towing bill since I was driving her car and was ready to start a 150 mile trip to the mountains meaning the car could have died that far from home.

That's how I FEEL.

Now will I give them up, NO. It gives me instant access to the boys specifically and becomes a safety convenience.

WH hasn't done anything yet, which does surprise me, but it's not my sick mind so I need to leave him alone.

How are you Cinderella? Is there anything I can do for you? I am at your service. Truly....

(((((Queenie)))))

Hows my girl doing???? I feel so MIA lately. I see that YOU are doing well, enjoying your "vacation", getting your GOLDEN GODDESS tan on...


hmmmmm....just wanted to let you know I still keep up with ya....even if it doesn't always seem so....

not2fun

Q,

How r u doing today? Im exhausted working graveyard last night and now up and looking for a very small hard drive the kids have taken out of DH bag ... opps... woke the kids up at the babysitters asking for it.

Hi Not, thanks for stopping by. I miss you girl.

Hey Pretty,

I see you aren't sleeping yet, how come? I'm ok. Been some struggles today, but I keep giving it to G-d. I really like that letter that Kim wrote on her thread from G-d. I printed it out and read it at least once a day.

How are you doing?

Been a long afternoon. Some things have been running in my mind and I just need to be patient and things will happien for me. Its hard to be patient. I guess MB can be kinda addicting, that and Bethanee just went to sleep.

How was your day? What is troubling you?

My day was good. I went on that same 4 mile walk with my sponsor that I started working towards last week.

Then I spent the day at the lake.

I went to the women's meeting tonight and I really struggle going to that meeting because there is so much honest sharing in that room. I'm afraid to let them in, truly because I lost my best friends over this flippin mess.

These woman are the same, they don't believe that my H will come home and they just want me to move on.

How can I not be happy for the ones on here who are getting that chance for recovery. It's so frickin awesome for them.

But I'm losing hope, and I'm struggling to keep building a life and I havent' really had ONE OF THOSE days for awhile and it's creeping up on me.

I know Plan B was the only way to go. I know that, but the reality of not ever seeing my H again is just too much to comprehend. And I know that I need to just face today and trust G-d. I know that, but somedays the feelings are just a little stronger than others and I miss being with my best friend. I miss talking to him about everything and nothing. I miss being angry at him, but knowing we would make up.

So, I know the routine, it's just my stinkin thinkin taking a rearing look and I have to stop it, which I am working on.

What kinds of things are running in your mind, can I help?

You know you have so much support here. Yes its hard to not talk to your best friend and share the ups and downs. I know it breaks your heart and I wish you were not going thru this. How long have u been in Plan B? Have you done anything for just yourself lately? Besides the pool, lake and walks. Have you gone and gotten your feet or a manicure done lately? That type of thing.

Yes when alone thoughts run thru our heads so you are no different then the next. But you are you. YOU can change YOU. Tired of the funk your in then do something about it. Change 1 thing you do that upsets you and try to break it. Set up a goal and make that thing non existant.

My problems lay within myself. Atleast I think. I try to meet DH EN's and its hard when I am not happy with myself. I have gained weight but I havent done anythign about it yet. I need too. I really hate my hrs at work. The fact we are trying to sale this home and trying to get a house that in the long run we cant afford if I quit sucks. I would change my hrs at work but I cant because thats what assistant managers work. DH and I havent even spent roughly the 15 hr week for a spouse. And I got upset with him tonight becasue he was working late getting ready for a group of IT's to go to Dallas. **I sound whiny in this** I know what I have to do to fix ALL of this. I just need to get things in order for them to fall in place. Sorry for the venting.

Vent away, it gets me out of self. What are you doing to take care of you and your M.

Oh my goodness, I have absolutely the most amazing support on here and if it weren't for here, I don't know how I would have moved forward. I have been in Plan B for a little over 4 months.

Part of me knows its the alcholic who wants to stir up the drama and there really isn't. WH didn't turn off the phones yet and I am uneasy about that. So I keep praying because really I don't care what he does or doesn't do on this particular issue.

As for doing something for me like a pedicure or manicure. Ah that would be a NO. No money. So walking, pool, meetings are the best I get right now. That and my special time with G-d which seems to be a lot.

Even though its great having a month off from school, it's a little restless and since I can't spend money, go places etc. I'm feeling a little trapped.. Hence the walking.

I sorta just thought of something.

I wonder what are the stages that a BS goes through while in Plan B. Maybe what I am going through is normal?

I have never walked down Plan A and Plan B paths before. So I do not know what you are feeling is normal. I am sure it is as we all miss our spouses when they are away. And the fact there isnt someone there at the moment to show love to you is very hard I am sure. But besides that...

DH and I have been working on a plan here and there on what we are going to do. My BIL offered me to work with him part time but down fall is what I get paid there would basically be enough to cover gas with the distance it is to get there.

Oh that's not a really good option.

What about working as a aid in your kids' school. Our get paid decent and it comes with medical coverage, which is nice.

What do you like to do?

Oh the other day I was at a resturant and while inside someone parked next to me well they rubbed my side of the car with there bumper. So my vans in the shop and I have a fully paid rental

Bethanee is talking more and more! Ethan is excited to start Kinder this year and if it wasnt so darn expensive I would send him to the jewish school here. And of coarse Aric is getting where he doesnt want to go to school. Told him Im gonna become a B this year to him about homework.