I read a letter he wrote his BW, and it was quite expressive.

sounds like a wonderful bunch of people.

I think it is amazing too. I think he is the one who thought we were all crazy.

You've gone too far now MEDC.

How DARE you criticise my country. A country you know NOTHING about.

Hmmmm, isn't that interesting. You knew just which button to push to make me see red. Verrrrrry interesting.

What country are you and your husband from?

well, actually, based on your observation of kiwi men, I guess I know something now....hence, the comment.

I know people have different approaches, but imagine being a WS and posting here. It would be helpful to have some tricks to get through withdrawal, some coping mechanisms, some encouragement, and less disparaging remarks about Kiwi men.

I agree with believer. Less negative, more positives.

**EDIT**

Sorry if I defended your thread in any way. With your angry outburst here online - cussing and calling names - you have a LOT of work to do on yourself!

Fatty,

Have you called the counseling center? This could be a great place to get started, and it is YOU taking the lead. Have you sat down with pen and paper and begun the process of looking inward to answer questions about why you believe you were vulnerable to the affair? What do you think you need to begin working on?

Most of all, I think it's important right now that you find ways, on your own, without being prompted, of making your wife feel safe. The passwords are a good start. If you have any facebook, myspace, blogs, etc, have you deleted them?

This is tough stuff, Fatty, but it comes with the biggest reward.

Let's keep it respectful and helpful, please. Its ok to disagree, its not ok to cuss out and call names!

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--... ...--

Fatty

Fatty, thanks for answering my earlier questions.

But you missed the one where I asked what your wife's username is. Could you tell me who she is here on MB?

I wanted to offer some suggestions to you. Some of the first things that you need to do to ensure no contact are simple but necessary. BTW, these are all actions I took to demonstrate that what I said was what I meant.

I would recommend you begin by changing your cell phone number, your home number, possibly your work phone number, and all of your email addresses. Close any online account like MySpace, Facebook, Classmates, etc. where OW could contact you.

Next, all passwords for cell phones, emails, work, etc. need to be written down and given to your wife.

I would recommend that next you put pen to paper and make a list of the people you have harmed and lied to during your A. Quickly approach these people and expose the truth to them and ask for their support for your wife and your marriage.

I did a lot more than this, but this is a good place to start. Let me know what you think. Are you willing to do these things?

**EDIT**

You're losing your focus and purpose here. You're here to save your marriage and not here to counter-attack other posters.

Can you just read those "attacks" and respond to the positive posts? Your getting angry is not going to help you, your wife, and your marriage. It can only do damages to them.

Just respond to the positives ones for now and we'll see how it goes. How about start by answering tst's questions above?

Fatty,

You're going to have to look past all of that. When my WH posted here, he was defensive at first too, wanting to get his part of the story out, yet he always took full accountability and did his best to swallow the hard stuff and ignore the things that he either wasn't ready to hear or he felt didn't apply to him.

It's not worth walking away from a resource that could be CRITICAL for your Recovery. Pay attention to the questions that you are being asked and for the wisdom that is being given on your post. See the forest for the trees, so to speak.

Affairs are addictions and like a junkie, you are going to have withdrawals, it would be better that you have a support group that will hopefully help you NOT go back to OW and repeat this mistake and possibly lose your W forever.

Good luck!

Fatty,

I would kindly suggest that you follow tst's lead here. Forget about the bickering, and focus on who can help you. Tst has been there, and knows what need to be done in order to save the marriage, from the wayward side of things (Former Wayward, in tst's case ;))

you haven't had a kick come your way as of yet. you are only creating diversions to avoid getting to the meat of your problems with strong women and your temper.

the only person abusing anyone here is you...and the sooner you get to that fact and past your anger...the sooner you will be someone that is worthy of breathing the same air as your wife.

As for your church pastor, I think it might be a good idea to go see him. Most likely it has been a long while and I am sure you two have much to catch up on.

TST is a great guy and would be a wonderful example to follow here. I could not agree more.