That may be so but that in of itself does not make me feel better . Should it.? As I said earlier I thought his remorse and attention woulf fix all but it does not seem to do the trick.


He has given me more information regarding deatils of the A than I can handle. I did want to know everything beacuse I have a vivid imagination and fantasized much much more than really went on. Now that I know exactly what happened for most of those 4 weeks (when,how,where) my images are contained to be limited to what actually happned. Its like a movie playing in my head over and over and over and the button is on scence select. At any point day or night these scenes come into my head and the movie statrs playing and I have to force myself to walk away from it. It taking a toll on me physcially. So yes I would say all my questions about the A have been answered.

Other than that we converse about everday stuff on a daily basis and H seems much happier than pre D day which I am happy for. I am saddened by the fact that he seems to be busy at work and hobbies and thankful for the fact that his ENs are being met so its almost like he has moved on from this little affair mess. I feel like as long as I am doing plan A and not having any converstaions about the grief our (mostly his) days are good. Its almost as if time is up and I feel bad about still greiving about the death of my old marriage. How long do I get to get over this, how long am I allowed to mourn ? At what point will he say oh not that again , it was in the past and you cant still be going on about that. What if he starts to feel that I am never going to get past this ( and is that the real truth).

I am stuck in this recovery process that seems to move forward at a snails pace and then give me moments of happiness when my H throws a bone my way. Its almost like wow he is go great cause he did this one thing, or she showed he cared, or he must really love me cause feels bad that I am sad. More units deposited for him.

Part of it might be cause he does have a stresfull job that occupies 8-10 hours of his day while I have the same 8-10 hours to ponder and dwell on this.

I am reading , posting, working on the worksheets, meanwhile he does the mininal attempt towards the same and is rewarded by my tail wagging to show my pleasure at is effort. The emotional side of me wants him to put in "effort" and "time" towads us. The logical side of me knows his job takes priority over us and he is happier not having to deal with it so I need to just GET OVER IT if I dont want to keep slipping backwards.

I know my posts keep flip floping on an emotional level from day to day but can you imagine the havoc this roller coaster is playing on my body. I guess many of you can, you have sadly been here before.

Remorse and attention will not fix how you feel. Both of your actions will create a new marriage. And time, you need time. Compare it to death, there is at least of year of grieving, fond memories, times where you actually forget and then WHAM, you remember that someone close to you is gone.

While recovery time tables are unique to some extent, you are looking at two years on average. Now, every day is not going to be a bad day. What kind of life is that? Neither of you would last very long if every day was bad. But it is not up to you to make sure every day is good. Your H will need to put his time into your relationship too.


Are you opposed to antidepressants? They are not a sign of weakness. Just something that can help you deal a little better. There are several BS here that use/used ADs. You could get some of their thoughts if you were on the fence if ADs would be a good idea for you. There are also some natural ADs.


The recovery process is SLOW. It takes a lot of work and effort from both you and your H. After you have recreated the habits in your relationship towards one another it won’t feel like effort. It feels natural and relaxed and you’ll wonder why neither of you created these loving habits years ago.


First off, we all have stressful jobs. That is just the way life runs these days. We have to make the choice to leave work and spend some R&R with those we love. Trust me, the work will still be there and it will get done. In SAA Harley talks about finding a new job that allows more time together. If that is not an option H needs to make sure that he still does his part in your relationship.

I’m guessing that you stay home with the kids and keep the house. It looks like your kids are school age so you probably have time to yourself during the day. Use this time more productively. If you are cleaning, have a book on tape/cd that you are listening to while cleaning. I transfer books to my ipod to listen to while doing housework. It makes the time go faster and keeps my mind from thinking too much.

How do you feel about painting? You could set a new mood in rooms by painting. Plus, at least for me, a fresh coat of paint makes everything seem clean and new…as in a new relationship together.


The emotional and logical side wants your H to put in effort & time into your marriage. The job should not be priority.

YOU are his priority.

He will see this.

Have you guys worked on the POJA? Seems like maybe it could be used for balancing job, hobbies, marriage and family. Right now it sounds like you are not happy with the current arrangement.

And on an aside. I hear you minimizing your situation...saying others have it worse. Don't minimize it. Your situation is painful too.

Thanks Jlr its nice to get some feedback on how I am feeling

2 years just seems so long and so far away. I thought I would never make it to 3 months. Not everyday is a bad day but when there is a bad day it just seems that of the 2 of us I am the only one who seems to be having them. Its just frustrating to see him move on and me stuck in sand insipt eto me puutin gin most of the effort.


I am not opposed to Ad's per say but I have a tought time taking vitamins (I dont on a regular basis bad bad bad I know) nor do I take tylenol for headache so I think it would be tough for me to take something just to help me feel better. I think a little sunshine and an activity from my list of pursuit of happiness should do the trick if I can bring my head out of my [censored] to go do it.

That choice is not something H is willing to make. He enjoys the fulfilment he gets from his career( I know I have been there) and as much as he hates the work that goes into it he is not ready to put it on the back burner for us. We have had this talk several times (pre A) and he thinks when I say he can take a lesser paying job or put less effort into his current he thinks I live in fantasy land and if he did any of those things we would not survive . On my ENQs finiancial stability is low on my list because I know I can live with what ever we make. Just be cause we have a creatin lifestyle does not mean we cant do without it. I belive everbody spends what they have. If we had less we would spend less.
Part of the complication is the struggle between him wanting to live the fantasy of being the "provider" and wanting me to stay at home and take care of the kids and be taken care of fininacially. The other part of him is resentful that I have all this time in the day (now that the kids are in school) to enjoy and do the things that I want. Meaning I have the choice on how to fill my day where as he HAS to go to work.
When I first quit my job 9 years ago I was riding high at the corporate laddder, smart young and progressing by leaps and bounds. 2 kids later it was apparent to me that 2 parents could not actively pursure careers and still raise kids that were given plently of attention and love from the parents . So begrudglingly I stepped down to fill my role as mom and supported my h in his role as Father and provider.
For long time after I resented the joy that he got from being able to go to work and have adult conversations while I dealt with diapers and kid talk. Over the years the "babies" got bigger and it was kinda fun being a mom and I love it now. I still miss felling appreciated from what I have to offer . There is no pay increase or bonus at the end of year to show you that you did a great job at mothering, but I am not willing to give up my "MOM" role to do get that fulfilment. (I still crave it just cant bring myself to do it at the cost of the kids).
I have offered to go back to work so we can relive any finiacial burden my h feels that he is unable to quit because of finaical reasons, but he takes that to mean that he is a failure at being a provdider so he needs to earn more and work harder so I dont have to. ARRRGGGG!
Funny you should say that. I spend most evening last ight prepping the bedrrom to be painted a nice serene green. Blue masking tape everywhere. Have not picked the color yet I ahev all kinds of samples from HD stuck to the wall. I did not think about the clean and new ascpect, just the more pretty and happier vision of a room that we spend a lot of time in. Not sure if I will get to the painting part before we leave Friday but definately next week, in the mean time, masking tape everwhere and H worked late last night so between the exhaustion of painting the lack closeness with H is contributing to todays darkness.

You are right that is exactly what I am doing, its almost as if I feel guilty about even having to post beacuse so many people have so many complications to add and I am whining and complaing about the pain even thought my H has ended the A that caused the pain. Its like even I am not giving myself permission to grief and demanding that I shake it off . the only sad part is I cant just shake it off , it really hurts

{{{WMF}}}

You and I are in similar situations although I am a bit farther down the bumpy road than you are. I will try to read through your thread. I've got three little ones who interrupt me a lot. You might look at my thread...I've made it through some of the hurdles.

One thing that strikes me is that we want this to be fixed quickly and it just isn't that simple. We have to allow our relationships to evolve into something new. Your H may not be putting in as much effort as you are, but he may also be doing things that you are unaware of...I know that mine was.

One thing we are working on together is talking about the things that we are consciously doing to promote our M. It helps both of us to know that we are working on things and it also helps to redirect energy if one of us is working on something that the other person doesn't need.

I'll write more later.

HTM

Thanks jlr.
I've been thinking about what is getting me down. Nothing has happened, no triggers etc, H has been exta caring and cautious so as to not cause pain, is being kinda attentive calling in and checking to see how I am doing all day and yet none of it is helping. I am not sure why I am down , on paper it seems like our M is making progress and yet I am unhappy.
Is this normal , does everyone get to a point where nothing helps.
I have plans to go out this evening with 2 of my BFFs just to hang out and have dinner as we dont get a chance to see each other often. Even the thought of that is not digging me out of this. I almost dont want to go and instead stay home and hug and hold my H and cry. Even as I say that I know that even a good cry wont help. What am I crying about?

We had a session with Jennifer for tonight that I cancelled and rescheduled for later next week. H has been too busy at work and hobby to have had time to do any of the homework we were assigned in our last session last week.

Its almost as if I want him to give up his job for 6 months or so, be completely focused on creating a new in-love-us before I am able to accept work, kids and lifes other distarctions. There are so many distractions or so many ways that his attention is spread thin that even without OW I feel he is not with me.

May be I am just expecting too much commitment and attention from him towards our relationship May be I need a job or a hobby or a different obsession to cure me from this one.

You sound just like I have. I think it's completely normal to be sad...for "no reason." I often feel like I don't want to go do things without H, because I feel like the time I have with him is precious and I want to be WITH him when I can. What I have had to realize is that sometimes giving myself free time makes me appreciate him more and helps me out of the depression.

I think of when I had my third baby and was really bad with ppd...one of the things I had to do was force myself to do things that I used to enjoy so that I would see they could still be fun. I wasn't motivated, but I did the things anyway. Eventually, it felt more enjoyable on its own.

You aren't expecting too much from your H. Both of you have neglected the amount of time it takes to make a great M, so it feels like an extra burden...especially to him if he is working full time and is used to having more free time. My H and I struggle with the other demands of life too. We have to really work hard to MAKE time with each other a priority. And I think that sometimes he does feel like it's more of a burden than a joy. But I know that it will pay off and I just keep encouraging him (and myself) to keep it up.

Pay close attention to the details...that helps me a lot. I noticed last night that H came to find me after the boys went to bed. It was like he WANTED to spend time with me. He didn't say that, but he hovered...that's a detail that I will hold on to when I think he's not feeling the desire.

wmf,

You can't fix this fast .


You want to. You want to fix it fast and move on.

Only that isn't how this works.


If I were sitting next to you when you said that you were worried about when he would say something like "Oh, is she crying about that again, just get over it an move on," I would just reach over and pop you in the head!!!!

Maybe pop both of you in the head, if he were to actually say something like that.

Because you will NOT "just get over it".

If your expectation is that, or his expectation is that, then a good head-thumping is coming your way from 'Da-Bus.


You have had a nuclear bomb go off in your marriage, and you've had about 90 days to clean up the fallout?????? Gee. Give yourself a break!!!!!

You are crying because it HURTS, wmf. It hurts. And while you might be a brave and strong creature, this kind of pain goes through your soul and comes out the other side still on fire.

You have had something happen in your life that made you question the very essence of who you are. You thought your life was one thing, and come to find out, it wasn't that at all. In fact, it was something completely different, something you never thought it would ever be, and it was something painful and something that betrayed your thought of what it was and it was betrayed by the one person who would never have betrayed you or your life.............and you stood in shock and agony over that, in disbelief, in darkness and the world stood still.

It stands still sometimes, now and again, as it did that day.

And it will stand still now and again, as time goes by.



There is nobody with a stopwatch timing you. No one to say, "Your time for grieving has passed, and you must be healed now." Only you will know when that time comes, because your mind will only pass to d-day or the affair occasionally once you are healed, and the pain will be a distant memory then.

That distance is not gained in a few months.

Your husband is only now beginning to understand that he has a great task before him. He has not yet begun his work, and has not yet set his foot upon the path of restitution for you. I know this because you have begun to express the anger of a BS, the anger that he isn't pulling his share of the work.

And rightly so. It is time for him to read with you. When he comes home at night, after the kids are sent back to their rooms, tell him that you need him to read with you for 10 minutes in one of the books every night, or on the homework. Only 10 minutes, because that is what you will need to help you both move forward. You need his 10 minute a day commitment - that he is working on the homework, or working on the reading, or doing his share of the work. Because NO, HE DOES NOT GET A FREE PASS. He has to do the work - and you are giving him a pass, because he has a job.

Sorry, but he had a JOB and also found time to screw around on you. That took more than 10 minutes a night, wmf. So I am POSITIVE THAT HE CAN FIND THOSE 10 minutes for your marriage.

And he had better, or the marriage will be lost. Because a major reason marriages fail after an affair is that the wayward spouse does not put in the effort - and the betrayed spouse just gets tired of doing the work on their own.


SB

Amen...can you come over and thump my WH in the head?

I think it is easy to feel like 15 hours is impossible...but the reminder that WH found LOTS of extra time for OW is a good example of how it is possible if you are motivated to find it.

I like the idea of asking for 10 minutes a night. That doesn't feel like you're asking the impossible and yet, it means that he makes a DAILY commitment to you and your recovery.

HTM

Thump! thats you popping me on the head and me saying Ouch!
Ok you are right I absolutely needed that thump on the head and here is course correction due to it. I am extending my deadline before which I cannot say that I am worried about still crying about it for another 3 months so Aug 1st is not my date , its now Nov 1st. I know its not the right answer because what you are saying is that there should be no self imposed deadline, but for my own sanity I need to know that there is a definate timeframe and this is what works for me now. Its a mind game but for now it gives me permission to grive without thinking I am dwelling in it.
Well so far H does not need that thump as he has not verbalized it aloud, I deserve a double thump for verbalizing it several times in front of him and settign that seed in his head.


Bingo ding ding ding! that is exactly where I am . Angry and sad. Its really comforting and saddening to realize that you can see thru what I am going thru and calmy express to me that is natural progression. To me its like insanity inside my head and when I see you write so eloquently what my brain is unable to put in simple words without sadness its just ........
Anyways he thinks he is puttign in tons of effort by being caring and showing compassion and when I am still sad he takes that to mean what he is doing is worthless cause it is not helping, it makes him feel like everytime we talk all his effors to that point were meaningless and he is starting all over. So he is starting to feel beat up and disheartened and un appreciated for all the effort he is putting in from his point of view.

Last week's sesion with jennifer was to do the " I love it when " ENQ sheet and share. We had a follow up session with her scheduled for yesterday which I had to cancel as H had not done any of the homework required to do that. Now I have been brooding all week because again I dont want to make him do it. I should not have to leave littel post it with hearts saying "honey dont forget...". I dont want to be his mom saying dont foregt ur lunchbox. He knows it was what we talked about during the MC that needs to get done and he CHOSE to spend all week Tues thru Tues either working or spending an extended weekend following his hobby of racing.
So last night back to unproductive sleepless marathon session ( yes I know my bad)explaing my unhappiness at his neglect at that. His response, well the paper (ENQ) is meaningless, I am too much into the MB religion and he is more focued on implementing the principals outlined rather the doing another JOb ( ie stupid homework for the MC). He already has a joba nd he does not want to feel like this recovery is another thing he has to schedule time for and work at , I guess that too hard.

I am all for discountinuing the MC if thats not working for him or if I religion IN MB and prechiness is too streong for him, but the sadness comes in beacuse that was my level of expectaion from him for this week. That was how I set my gauge on how he was to do his part this week towards healing and working on our M. Since at no point did he verbalize to me that he did not think that taking the 45 minute sto do that was important - my logical side goes , well obviously he does not care enough about the M to put in the work.
So I really dont want to accept that my marriage is doomed beacuse I really do want this to work out but I am also unwilling to sit by and not have him put in the effort. So where do I go from here. Another week of setting expectations from him and then not delivering, another week of me putting in more effort to once again clearly communicate what my expectations from him are and the being exhausted and dissapointed at the results.
My fantasy of the blissfully easy escape route of throwing in the towel and me not having to work on this M either cause its gettign too hard is getting stronger and stronger by the day. I know its fantasy and if we end up in a D it will probably be worse unhapiness than today and yet my strenght fails me in wanting to continue to expect this M to survive in what appears to me a mountain evidence to the contrary

I can understand his lack of motivation becaue the A was all happy happy fantasy times, he cried and she gave him a shoulder, he said I was horrible and neglectful and see said oh Poor you let me kiss your pain away. Its easy to find more and more time for that when you are getting what you need.
With us at this point when I ask him if he is happy with how I am meeting his needs, when he is being honest he tells me he is happy with all that I doing for him. IS everthing perfect no. IS he overwhelmingly happier that pre-A , YES.
The unhappiness for him comes in beacuse he is frustrated that no matter what he seems to do its not producing the same elated happiness at my end. So he thinks he is puting in the effort and is looking for a pat on the back. I think he is neither putting in enough nor the right kind of effort towards the M. So how can I make him feel motivated and at the same time convey to him that what he is doing needs to change.
I was at this point last Friday and had a marathon talk explaining that. I was happy at the small signs of progress for the next day or 2. Now I have just had another marathon session that felt like deja vu last night. So I am at a loss for how to proceed .
There can only be 2 roadblocks -
Either I am a terrible communicator and I really am unable to convey to him what I am processing in my head.
Or he hears me and is just unwilling or unable to deliver for what ever the reason.
May be its a combination of both, but whats the solution ?

WMF-

Listen to these lovely ladies.

They give great guidance.

I'll be thinking of you but a client just swept me away and I'll need to focus on this for a few days. I'll try to check in at night...if time with my DH allows it...see how I'm making that choice.

So your H is on board with the MB principals. Go with that. Create a new habit with him. That first habit being time together (for your H). You need to figure out what habit you need to create for your relationship.

Only work on one habit at a time. Once it is mastered move on to another habit that creates a better marriage.

Allow yourself to grieve.


Remember this is foreign to your H right now. This is something you have to work on together.

But...

No more marathon's.

Not good for anyone...not good for you.

Oh, oh, oh...I think I know of a habit you might need to work on in your relationship. Verbalizing daily what you need from your H. Didn't he say that he wanted more of that from you. Have you been asking for his time instead of all the time at work or on HIS hobby that you do not share much of an interest in?

I'm sending happy thoughts your way. Be reseptive of the good vibes (or vibrations if you like to dance )

I thought he was on board with the MB principals now he claims it too much religion, not really fun and lots of stupid work. So NO I would not say he is on board with the principals. He likes them and thinks they are great on paper but are too cumbersome and "un fun" to implement in reality.

I really appreciate all the good thoughts and positive encouragement from you and the time and effort you (all) put into responding to my issues. Thanks, I know you guys have your own lives and own trigers and I am thankfuul that I have this place to come to and that you guys do respond and shine some light.

WMF,

Your H is EXACTLY like mine. I don't know if that is any consolation, but I think that my H and I will recover and we have been right where you are.

Some things that I have found that have helped me...

* Downplay the labels of MB. Focus on the basic principles...they are sound advice and seem to be harder to debate than the "cult-like" (my H's words) appearance of MB.

* When things bug you, talk with your H about that day. I cannot stress this one enough. Don't wait for the end of the week and have a marathon talk...I think that is a LB. I found that telling my H in a "sandwich" of compliments and hope helps. I'll say, "Honey, I love the way you have been spending so much time with me. I am still uncomfortable with you staying up later than me though. I know that you and I can make it through this together." My H says that it is easier to hear the problem with hope.

* Go overboard in recognizing his efforts. I went through a phase where I would thank H for every thing that he did for me throughout the day. Yeah, he thought I was nuts, but he got the point.

* Remind H in a caring way that while you appreciate all of the things that he is doing, you are still hurting. It doesn't mean that you don't think he is working hard at recovery, you just are still working through YOUR stuff. It's ok for you to tell him that you are feeling sad (any emotion) and you just wanted to share that with him...that he doesn't have to DO something to fix it.

* Try to make the 15 hours a week FUN stuff...not relationship work/talk. It's important to have a time set aside to talk about recovery, but it should not be what you spend the most time doing. You and your H are DATING so that you will both feel love for each other again.

When you get a chance, read through some other threads. It helps to see other people stuck in the same places. I guess misery loves company, right?

HTM

OH...I forgot. The stuff about this being too much work. Heard that one too. I think it is a defense mechanism that the WH has when things start getting tough to face. He is coming out of the fog and realizing the extent of what he did and by accepting the amount of work he needs to do to recover, I think he is somehow admitting how devastating his actions were. It's a tough pill to swallow.

HTM

That sounds like a good and do-able plan. Need to make sure I "speak" to him everyday . May be I need to type and write out what to say and only read what is written so it does not turn into a marathon session. Maybe a daily/ nightly email to communicate my feelings and thoughts of the day. Sounds un-romantic but productive. May be written instead of a verbal communication dialog that invariably turns into him attempting to defend himself is a better start until I can communicate to him safely without it being exhausting.

I better start doing that too and quickly otherwise I am sure pretty soon he will be throwing the baby out with the bathwater in reagards to the MB principals and solutions.

OK, I love having staff to help me out. I get a message from a client that freaks me out because I forget that I should delegate and not take it on all myself.

Here’s my ramblings/thoughts:



Seems worth repeating…often.



Your marriage does not have to be doomed. Wipe that feeling right out of your mind. That kind of negativity isn’t going to help your mental well-being.

Your marriage can be recreated.

Your marriage can be something better.

Your marriage can be positive.

Expectations are dangerous. Its very difficult for someone to measure up to our expectations, especially when we are trying to create a better marriage. Some things are going to come easily and our expectations will be meant.

Most things are going to be difficult…leaving what we expected from someone else to be crushed.

Expect a happy life together.

Don’t expect it to happen overnight.

Expect love and joy.

Don’t expect your H to remember everything from a marathon (naughty) session.

Expect a new marriage.

Don’t expect new habits to create themselves.



I see plenty of evidence that your marriage will THRIVE.

Re-read some of your posts from the days you feel more positive. Look at the things that have changed, even slightly, in your marriage. Don’t forget your “Why” sheet.

Re-read your post in the “How did/are you earning your BS’s respect back” thread. You said some nice things about your H. I’ve seen where HTM will just copy & paste what she has written in another thread if it seems like good thoughts related to her recovery. You might consider the same.

I’m so sorry, but a lot of the times the burden of recovery falls upon the BS in the early stages. Part of it is WS fog…I think that part of it is the WS embarrassment/guilt/shame from what they did.

Your H will get to the point where it won’t seem like work all the “effort” he puts into your relationship. When it starts to come naturally because it’s a habit it will be a piece of cake for him.

Have you read Fall in Love, Stay in Love? While SAA has its place I really like this book. It takes concepts from the Harley’s main books and brings it all together. Can you guess that I’m really on board with creating new habits.

Those old habits didn’t work too well for any of us.





I think what HTM said in response to you was worth repeating too.



The Harley’s talk about sitting down on Sunday at 3 to schedule this time. If you think you can’t get buy in from your H for 15 hours of FUN time together, start at a slower pace…even 5 hours a week of FUN is going to help. Soon those 5 hours will be nothing and you can build a few more hours together.

Keep in mind this time together is spread out during the week. Here again, no marathon sessions to get all your time together.

Think its hard…do things together that you did when you were first married. Clear the table and talk. Wash and dry dishes together and talk.

The “and talk” is not A talk. Suppose to be enjoyable time together.

And I would leave "Try" at the door...MAKE is a word of action (my little 2x4 for you and your H )



With the FUN time together this feeling will be replaced.

OK, back to the devil of a client...and I'm not exaggerating.

You're STRONG and your marriage will become strong through your efforts. Your H doesn't have to drink the MB kool-aid, you can help water down for him.

Apologize for the length.

Ok So all the 2x4 's amd crtuches you are giving me are doing the magic. I feel much more positive about where I am and realize That I need to shift my expectations and demands of how and when this recovery needs to proceed.


These are very powerful words to me that you wrote there jlr in terms of concrete ways that I can help my own recovery. So I thank you for that post.

Todays plan is to find time to take care of myself ( dashing off to yoga class soon), detach from focusing on A and recovery. No more marathon or mini talks tonight. Sleeping on time and having energy to deal with tomorrow. Nothing more nothing less.

If in between there I can make sure to smile and hug DH then thats a bonus

I am proud of me this morning. Stuck to the plan, Its amazing what a good nights sleep can do for a mind and body. I feel much more energized and positive this morning. NO marathon or even mini talks yesterday and here is the best part - DH came home from work and said that he took some time out and worked on the ENQ sheet. So may be tonight if we still feel positive we will be spending the 45 minutes to share it with each other.
Tomorrow starts a 5 day kid free break , no work no kids just 5 days (and nights) of dedicated attention to having some time to have fun and relaxation together.

Hopefully I can stick to the we are on an extended date plan and no talk of A or R or even M for that matter.
Then next week after the time off I have to learn how to water down the MB Kool aide and keep it around so its not rejected by H . Because I really think ( u guys are drilling it into me) that if I stick with it and follow the plan , it can actually work

Great job WMF.

In this process we sometimes forget the importance of taking care of ourselves.

I don't have to tell you the benefits of yoga. Make it a weekly session for you. I was SOOOOO jealous to see you were going to yoga.

I'm going tomorrow but not to one the type I love...I love the hot yoga but that doesn't work in my schedule this week.

My H feels the benefits of yoga too so I got him hooked on the hot yoga too. There is a class late in the pm on Sunday's that we will go to and then grab a lite supper afterwards.

Is yoga something that your DH would share with you? He might not like it at first but after a few weeks I'm sure he would feel the difference and be more energized.


You might want to tone back to 20 minutes.

Remember schoolbus sugessted 10 minutes to warm up your DH to the "homework." You don't want to overwhelm him when he's not completely with the program (that will come).

Also, I suggest the toning back of how long in your mind because I'm thinking you are a little like me. I would say 45 minutes and then say well another 15 minutes won't hurt us...


This will be easier than you think. The principals are very common sense if you think about it. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that we should use our common sense.


Worth repeating

AND

On days you struggle a little more, come back to your post and read what YOU wrote about how

YOU feel

the POSITIVE energy!

And have a great time enjoying your DH on your road trip.

Enjoy your DH enjoying time with you.

You're doing GREAT! (Did you just picture Tony the Tiger from the box of cereal? I did. )