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Joined: May 2002
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"I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to state your opinion!"


I wonder how many members of MB actually agree or disagree with the above quoted statement?

In light of several "changes" that have occurred on MB, what ARE the "limits" to opinions and topics that are "acceptable" to "Big Brother(s)" who is "making a list and checking it twice?"


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I agree with the statement in some cases and not others. As this is a private forum...the owners of this site are entitled to monitor and edit content as they see fit.

Imagine sitting in a church and someone spouting off about the benefits of polytheism. I don't think anyone that has chosen to sit in the church would appreciate the argument that the persons right to speak outweighs the rights of the church owners to dictate acceptable decorum. Most people would think the person was disrespectful for continuing on his/her rant after being advised of the unwelcome nature of such a diatribe.

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I had made the assumption when I first came to MB's that it was a site to help BS's (and repentent former WS's) to save their marriages from adultery and divorce.

But I have seen several examples of active adulterers coming here to get help in trying to keep their adulterous relationships going.

BS's who post here should be cautioned to not tell their WS about MB because sometimes the WS and even the OP then come here too. Sometimes the adulterers don't reveal they are the adulterers, peferring to try to persuade the BS to just give up and 'move on'. But even when it's obvious there are active adulterers here it's not too hard for them to find posters who will 'support' them in the adultery!

IMHO it isn't really possible to help adulterers break up marriages AND to help BS's save marriages, at the same site, without somebody feeling offended.

I guess I just don't get the point in trying to serve both purposes at the same site. It's futile and just causes problems; problems that IMHO adding more moderators and employing more censorship isn't going to solve.


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I have no problem with anyone stating their opinion on the boards so long as it is done so with respect to the owners wishes. The sign at the door reads:

Before participating in the forum, please follow these guidelines:

1. If you are having difficulty resolving a marital conflict, first read Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts.

2. If you have a question after reading the Basic Concepts, look over the Summary of Q&A Columns to see if your question has already been asked.

3. If your question has not been asked in any of the Q&A Columns, or if it was not answered to your satisfaction, then you may wish to post your question on this Marriage Buildersᆴ Forum.

This forum is open not only to those who have questions, but also to those with comments or suggestions. So we recommend that all participants of the discussion forum be familiar with Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts. However, the advice given is NOT to be construed as professional advice, nor is it even endorsed by Marriage Builders, unless Dr. Harley is specifically named as the responder. It's available to you as an opportunity to explore other people's opinions as they relate to your problem.


And of course the TOS should also be respected.


Quote
In light of several "changes" that have occurred on MB...

At first, I thought too, that there were "changes" that occured since the latter part of '07. The more time that passes though, I have come to realize that there are a few more deputies minding the townfolk is all.

Perhaps there is a bit of a learning curve for new moderators. I also think that the more moderators there are, the less consistency we are likely to see in their work.

Will I defend "to the death" your right to state your opinion? Not on a privately owned discussion board. Their site, their rules. We all know where the exit sign is.


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Will I defend "to the death" your right to state your opinion? Not on a privately owned discussion board. Their site, their rules. We all know where the exit sign is.
Part of their rules is the TOS. The TOS covers such things as name calling and general disrespect.

It appears to me that much name calling is allowed as well as bullying. Much of the bullying is done by people who appear to be very good at passive/aggressive techniques.

To be fair, I don't know how many of those posts are reported to the Moderators or if they are even aware of most of those posts. I do know that after returning to the board after another long absence, I reported a thread where a person claiming to be Wayward was being attacked and told to commit suicide because other posters decided that the person was a Troll. A Moderator showed up within minutes and, additionally, the thread had ongoing attention afterward and posts were edited soon after being posted.

I also noticed that other Moderators went through the thread at later times and edited more comments. I take that to mean that different Moderators have different ideas of what is disrespectful and what is not.

This isn't the first time over the years that the board seems to be overrun by some who remind me of schoolyard bullies and I hope it isn't long before it swings back the other way again--as it usually does when Harley is again viewed as the Authority of what is acceptable on his board and what is not, instead of individual board members assuming that authority and being allowed that authority by other posters as well as by some Moderators.

In the meantime, let's all start being an example of upholding the TOS. In addition, I intend to do my best to extend kindness and compassion to those who I respond to about issues that are causing harm and pain to them and to others in their lives. If I'm unable to do that it would most likely be because of my own unrecovered/unhealed issues, and I will refrain from posting to them as is my responsibility to do.




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Just wait until you're on their watch list. wink

I can get modded down before I stop typing! laugh


I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
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Just wait until you're on their watch list.
Whose watch list? The Moderators or the others I referred to?

If it's the Moderators, then I will get opportunities to evaluate myself each time I'm moderated, and free of charge! That's a bargain in my book--I used to pay a therapist good money for that service.

If it's the others that I referred to, then I will get opportunities to practice upholding my own code of ethics while continuing to work on my own issues.

Either way, I think it's a good deal for me. laugh

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And of course the TOS should also be respected.

Now that's an interesting observation, ba109.

What ARE the Rules of the System, where do members find them to know what the system HAS established as the rules to be followed by all members?

We keep hearing and even sometimes using the phrase, "TOS," but what are they and where are they for members to know what has been established as the rules concerning posting?

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Hi folks, we ALL have opinions and they are all welcome. Differences of opinions are OK. ATTACKING the poster is NOT!

If you see a post or thread that is offensive, hit the NOTIFY MOD alert. Please state your objection so we can clearly see the offensive sentence. IF you'd like a response from the mod, offer your email address. We very much appreciate your help in alerting us to problems.

Concerns about MB and/or the mods can be emailed directly to the mod or JustUss. Thanks.. smile

Revera
Revera01@aol.com


Moderator
Revera01@aol.com

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