I have not yet written a personal recovery plan, but I do intend to. A writen plan is the only sort worth having IMO.

Thanks
Fatty

You see your inability to protect your W is what led to the door opening that allowed the affair to begin.
1)You allowed yourself to be alone with another woman.
2)You allowed yourself to listen to her problems.
3)You shared your own problems.
You made the choice, for whatever reason, to NOT protect your wife and your marriage.

Hence, the need for EP's in your life.

Extraordinary Precautions:

a) I am responsible to protect my wife at all times.
b) I will give full access of all my business records to my wife.
c) I will agree to give all passwords, account codes business and personal to my wife.
d) I will not put myself in an advice giver role with another woman, unless my wife is present and has given her prior approval.
e) I will defer to my wife as the advice giver when it involves another woman, unless she specifically calls on me.
f) I will not spend any time with another woman that my wife is not present.
g) I will allow only my wife to hear my problems or concerns.
h) I will not share my infirmities with another woman.
i) I will allow my wife to be my exclusive care giver, unless she specifically calls on someone else to help her.
j) I will defer to my wife in all matters of charity and outreach, with her being the sole point of contact when caring for women.
k) I will not teach martial arts to another woman without my wife being present and having enthusiastic agreement about such training in advance.
l) I will openly share my daily business schedule with my wife.
m) At any time she requests, I will trade cell phones with my wife for the time she deems necessary.
n) I will allow only men to provide essential care, such as Doctors appointments, hair cuts, massages, individual counseling, etc.
o) I will always defer to my wife regarding any outside activity and will agree to eliminate any activity she feels is interfering in our relationship or the relationships of our children.
p) I will not travel out of town for business or personal reasons without the company of my wife.

I posted to you on page 1 or 2 of this thread - I linked some reading I thought would be useful for you. I was wondering if you'd had a chance to read (watch the video) any of those links?

Out of curosity - what sort of work do you do - not a specific company perse - but are you in sales, medicine, technology, science, labor ETC. Sometimes knowing what type of work you do helps us gear our approach. For instance - I work in medicine, so making comparrisons to something in my field helps me understand the marriage building concepts more clearly - and application of the concepts is smoother when we can relate to the examples in context to our lives.

Fatty,
So, what are you doing for Mrs. Fatty?

When is the last time you told her she was beautiful?

When is the last time you complimented her on her outfit or the dinner she cooked.

I dont' mean a general thought, I mean a true-blue compliment. Because we, the BW, feel so inferior after our H's A, we are totally unsure about everything we used to feel secure about. Your wife may seem on the outside to be the most secure and strong person you know, but inside she's probably a mess.

So, my advice is this. Pay special attention to her. Look her in the eye and simply smile. Touch her when you walk past her. Kiss her on the lips...not the cheek. Heck, make out with her -- whatever happened to that after marriage???

Really, you should be proud of what you're doing, now!

I have several jobs and depending on the situation I quote a different occupation. I am a part time farmer on the farm that we live on and I also do part-time milking on other farms. I have a bussiness copying old sound recordings onto CDs(that I operate from home), I am a part-time fire fighter

for a few months recently I was a full time caregiver for my father during his fight with cancer.

I was involved with Scouting, a local museum and operating a radio station - all on a voluntry basis.

Well I bet that was a longer answer than you were expecting

Fatty

Good luck today. Hope you can get back home soon, and hope you are not tempted to contact the OW.

People who have been swept off their feet know the feeling. Love makes us all feel funny. That sense of giddy disorientation, unsinkable euphoria and complete obsession with a new love can be so overpowering, that it's hard to imagine it's all about emotion. Now scientists are confirming there indeed may be a lot more going on in a body that's in love than simple, happy thoughts. In fact, a spate of research has shown what kind of chemical and neurological activities occur at different stages of human and animal relationships. While the results hardly make love less mysterious, they do start to shed light on why it can make people feel so funny.

DOPED UP

Helen Fisher, a research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University , is among many scientists who believe the flush of a new love is enhanced by natural stimulants in the brain, dopamine and norepinphrine. She explains that high levels of these natural chemicals can make people lose their appetites and their desire for sleep, just by thinking about their new infatuations. 'These are basic traits commonly associated with romantic love and with these natural stimulants,' she says. 'What else could explain the way you constantly think about a person, about the way you want to read them your bad poetry?'

Further studies show that gushy romantic sensations may be similar to the highs drug addicts feel when they're under the influence. Nora Volkow; the associate director for life sciences at Brookhaven National Laboratory in New York , has analysed the behaviours of drug addicts and people in love and found striking parallels. 'When a person is passionately in love, it is extremely exciting and provocative, and if the loved one is not there, distressing,' says Volkow. 'When I see my drug addicted patients, it just clicks with me how similar the addiction is. 'The fact that drug addiction and passionate love may trigger the same responses, signals to Volkow that drug addiction is especially dangerous since it taps into a natural sensation.

In the first two stages of love, the chemical phenylethylamine also appears in the brain. Phenylethylamine is the "love drug" in chocolate. It helps maintain the euphoric high of falling in love. If partners break up, phenylethylamine levels plummet, causing depression and woe.

After two to five years, phenylethylamine leaves the body naturally. It's replaced by other, more stable chemicals.