I just got off the phone with DSHS. I know it will all get cleared up, but because my son is over 18 and graduated, dshs won't collect on him for child support. And WH isn't offering up the money either.

WH's company has agreed to his wages being garnished, but just for spousal and 1 child support.

I called A, he is opening up the file and will look into it, but he remembers clearly that WH is responsible to pay child support and A said he would file motion of contempt if need be.

Stay on the budd-face idgits case about the $$$$$

You understand me, young lady!!!!


Either of you two ladies want some copies of "Cross Stitch and Country Crafts" magazines? Have some incredible charts in them...simply incredible. But, I ran out of time and found new interests.

Q, maybe you do need to sit shivah for him. You say he's dead to you but you keep hoping he comes back. What happens if you totally let him go and see what happens? Kind of like Dobson's tough love.....let em go and see you not needing them or spending any energy on them. (It was very helpful for me to plan and carry out a ritual to let mine go...let him leave my life.)

Don't understand this.....

Then why would I be in Plan B and stay married, why not just go straight to D.

I get that I have to build a life without him. I have let him go and understand he can't be a part of my life, but then why don't I just finish it and move on and see who else is out there after I heal?

I'm not trying to be difficult, just looking at what the lesson is that you are showing me. I dont know if I am ready, but I'm willing to stretch and face the pain, ok?

Queenie,

You need to do what your heart is telling you do to. If your heart is wanting to hold out for WH to come back, how long are you going to hold out?

What is your heart saying Q?

My heart says to not give up. Not yet. How long, I'll have to leave that up to G-d.

I don't think I can wait forever...

Queenie,


No, you can't.

But forever isn't today is it? Today is today. So, what about it?

Are you going to spend all of your energy Today on WH? Or, are you going to expend that energy where it belongs, Taking Care of Queenie?!!

We keep talking about this, don't we? It's hard isn't it? I KNOW it's hard. But you have to find some way to lock away what you feel for him and have a Life. I think that's what Cinders is telling you when she's talking about letting him go.

I know that triggers like the child support issue make it extremely difficult, but you have to find a way to have LESS daily brain cells wasted on HIM.

I wish I had a magic formula for you on how to do it. It's different for each one of us. Remember my visual of the locket and the trunk? You need to find your own visual way of locking away those feelings.

Sorry I don't have a lot of time this morning and I HOPE you are in bed getting some REST. But think about this. Really think about how you can lock him away while you carry on your life. Then, you have a life moving forward. IF the opportunity comes where he starts to come around, you go find & unlock those feelings. IF it doesn't, you are not still STUCK in the post D Day muck.

Remember, Plan B needs to be about YOU. You are worth the effort!!

{{{Queenie}}}

Keep your attorney informed and stay on xh's case about the money - take care of yourself and those children. Do not let him slack on this. Do not let him off the hook.

I figured the system would censor me if I was more descriptive. I felt bad last night and was not in a happy place.

My neck has been really hurting lately and I yesterday had a big round of 6 steroid injections in the joints in my neck that have, today, made it much more comfortable.

What is Queenie doing for herself today?

I am going to take a nice bath, work on the clothes that DH washed last night for me. Relax till its time to get the kids. I would post what else i have planned out for the evening but DH reads the posts here and will ruin the surprise. Atleast the gesture.

I am off today and I have to be at work tomorrow for a 12 hr shift. *ICK* I work saturday 8am off sunday monday and tuesday i work morning hrs and wed I work 2p to 10p. Man does he have me jumping around the schedule.

I have to get the kids ready for daycare. BBL hugs and

Q,

Can you really get CS for 18 year olds? I thought that when they were 18, they were legally adults. Oh well, hope you can still get it because I know 18 year old boys eat a lot of food.

Anyway, maybe set a deadline a to how long you will wait, then forget about WH. Jennifer told me to wait 1 year, then call her again. Then at the 1 year mark, you can evaluate and determine if you want to extend. I think it helps a little mentally and emotionally because you don't feel such an urgency to decide what to do.

Keep the financial pressure on him though. It causes good LBs at the HoHouse.

Different states have different rules.....

Just out cruising tonight - trying to round up a few Plan B'ers....

Queenie, I used to journal - when I could remember.....

It was helpful for me to write that horrible, angry letter to my x....then I put it in the river with him. Floated it all away.

I didnt think of that! Thats a good way of doing something as well Q!!!

Hope you are doing ok today

Hi there,

Journaling is good. I actually will probably have lots of time after Sunday - it's supposed to be cloudy and rain, to journal and I will get that letter written.

I'm procrastinating, not doubt about it. I actually do that alot. ICKY, have taken up where H left off.

I am singing in my choir tonight for services because our new rabbi is starting tonight. We have her for one year. And then tomorrow going to services and singing. Then I have a lunch date with some girlfriends from work and then am meeting with a possible sponsee of mine, which will be my first, and then a AA bbq and meeting.

So I have a full day ahead of me.

I am really thinking or just intaking what you are saying Bugs, Cinders, and Pretty. I am praying on it and leaving it be for now because I don't have answers.

I'm heading to the pool to take in the last of the sunshine for now, It's in the back of my mind that I am going back to work and so I am looking at how best to take care of me with the time I have left, specifically today... Relaxing, sun, and services.

I think that's a good start in loving myself for today. And I just have to love myself and be good to myself today.

I'm so excited to be going to services tonight and singing. I was singing outside this afternoon some Shabbat songs and oh my, was it nice to hear the hebrew and use the words.

I love singing. I have missed it alot. I am in a much better place than last year and am looking forward to being in temple tonight. And with a rabbi, what a treat, plus we have morning services tomorrow which are way more formal and the songs are even cooler.

Last summer, WH, DD, DYS, and DD BF went to CA for WH's godchild/neice's wedding. My neice has been with this man for 6 years maybe and they had 2 children. They were ready to get married. This was actually the trip that we went on where when we came back, WH almost came home.

Anyways, I found out today through my YS that my neice just found out her H has been cheating on her for 3 months now. I have on clue what's happening and it was my OS who told me b/c YS tm'd him.

This is WH's favorite niece, I can't help but wonder if this would affect WH if he knew. I won't be the one to tell him. But still. Enough thinking of WH.

I hurt for her and wonder if there is anything I can do for her or even if I should know.

Hi there,

Tonight was absolutely INCREDIBLE. I felt like I was HOME. I felt safe, I felt like I belonged and I missed it so much. I loved singing and it just felt so awesome to be singing to G-d tonight.

Interestingly this week's Torah portion is Matot. The rabbi's sermon was on taking vows and promises and the seriousness of those in Jewish life. She went on to talk about how Jews make a vow and are not allowed to not follow through on it without dire results.

Then she talked about Judges and Jebda? Mark, do you know this story? What's your take on it.

Shabbat Shalom, Pretty and Mark

For the first time since this happened, I felt alive inside, I felt close to G-d and I felt safe. The newly elected president's wife and I were talking about WH etc. She said the sweetest things. She said he LEFT YOU? She was shocked. That was so kind of her to be that gracious. She also has the same calling I do or NEED to go to Israel and so we are planning a trip together for next year. She is a teacher and we work almost the same schedule.

WooHoo

I am so glad you enjoyed your evening.

Shabbat shalom to you Queenie and Mark.

I worked 12 hrs ... My feet hurt. But DH cleaned up the house for me tonight he said he did it for me!!! Made me feel warm inside lol

Hi Queenie,


THIS IS....great news...and a great PLAN!

Keep 'chipping' away at the mountain... and one day it will dust at your feet!

(((((((((((((QUEENIE)))))))))))))))

Queenie!!!




I am so, so, so glad to hear this! I was thrilled when I read of your plans earlier that you were going and that you were planning to sing!

I could 'hear' the excitement in your voice before the evening began and am so thrilled that it was such a great night for you. It's time that you re-connected in your life this way. So glad you had such great interactions!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Shabbat Shalom, Ladies.

I have to work today, but might get to stop back later. We do have a picnic this afternoon at our pastor's house, so it might be late, but I'll be back...

Mark