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For those who wonder... here some “stuff” (GREAT examples of fogginess and of what happens when the OW is forced to meet the WH’s needs) from the OW board. He says that she treats him crap and wholly without respect, so he says it's hard for him to care deeply about her feelings (when he doesn't get it from her in the first place). She is a pretty hardline person (I've seen it firsthand).
But yes, he's the king of passive-aggressive as well...which irks me to no end. I sincerely hope he won't be that way with me. I don't think he will, because we seem to tackle issues head on together for the most part. He says he feels very comfortable expressing himself and being who he really is to me without fear of recrimination and judgment. similar type of BW here, and yes I have seen it too. Very no-nonsense and hard-line. I suppose she could handle the issues herself, but it just didn't feel right to me. He still has a D at home that is leaving for college soon, and he should have been there for her IMO. I don't want to give too much detail, but one of the urgent matters was that their home had been robbed. BW and D handled the police call and followup while he was out partying. He says that if he was gone they would have to do it, so they may as well get used to it.
I am in no way setting a date or picking out china, thank God. Our plan is for him to get his own place and for us to date. My guy claimed to have married the wrong woman, hence the straying. She was dull, didn't want to do much more than cook and clean. Didn't express her feelings, didn't really want to have sex. This was why he spent so much time out with the guys and watching neverending sports on TV.
Well after 8 months of having him in my house and me doing ALL the cooking, shopping, cleaning, paying all the bills while he sat around and watched sports and got angry whenever I brought up a conversation about 'us' - I have to say I lost interest in being the sexy creature and sparkling conversationalist I once was.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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I like this part....
He says he feels very comfortable expressing himself and being who he really is to me without fear of recrimination and judgment.
I like it because this is exactly what my WW said that OM had to offer her...(she could talk to him without being judged...like she claimed I judged her). WTF DID WW THINK HE WOULD DO? WOULD HE SAY... "HEY, WW I REALLY THINK THAT YOU ARE ACTING LIKE AN IMMATEUR, SPOILED, CAKE-EATING, CHILDISH, SELF-SERVING, TRAMPy SL@T"..."WANT TO SLEEP WITH ME AGAIN"?
Some people are so f#cked up.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Just google "The Other Woman" and you'll hit it right off.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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WTF DID WW THINK HE WOULD DO? WOULD HE SAY... "HEY, WW I REALLY THINK THAT YOU ARE ACTING LIKE AN IMMATEUR, SPOILED, CAKE-EATING, CHILDISH, SELF-SERVING, TRAMPy SL@T"..."WANT TO SLEEP WITH ME AGAIN"? No WS will ever say anything like this. It reeks too much of honesty. P.S. I howled when I read this!!!
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WTF DID WW THINK HE WOULD DO? WOULD HE SAY... "HEY, WW I REALLY THINK THAT YOU ARE ACTING LIKE AN IMMATEUR, SPOILED, CAKE-EATING, CHILDISH, SELF-SERVING, TRAMPy SL@T"..."WANT TO SLEEP WITH ME AGAIN"? No WS will ever say anything like this. It reeks too much of honesty. P.S. I howled when I read this!!! Me too!
Last edited by princessmeggy; 07/25/08 01:55 PM.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Introvert that was classic!
You made me laugh and you made my day that much better!!
Don't you think that Waywards suffer from low self-esteem?
BS;ME43,WH45
DS19,DS16
DDay:6Dec06
WH left12Dec06
DIV:3Dec08
WH marries OW 21days later!
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PM, those posts are written by cockroaches who are reaping the crumbs that fall from the table of life. What kind of moron hooks up with a guy she knows is a CAD?  Any sane woman would know that a suitable choice would have good traits like, honesty, faitfulness, respect for women, respect for marriage, kindness, thougtfulness. What is wrong with a person that chooses someone she knows is dishonest, thoughtless, deceitful, selfish and cruel? Who would choose a man who would abandon his wife and children for some free nookie? Here we are in a country where women are free to choose their husbands, and these women squander that freedom with bad choices like this. Women like this make me ashamed to be a member of the same gender. It just amazes me that women can be so stupid.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I used to read there sometimes. I stopped, though. Every time I read there I got a headache!!!
Charlotte
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Introvert that was classic!
You made me laugh and you made my day that much better!!
Don't you think that Waywards suffer from low self-esteem? I'm pretty sure that my W suffers from it. When someone can basically tell a woman what she wants to here, and she takes her clothes off because of it...it pretty much reeks of self-esteem issues. I know darn well that the guy is saying "I feel so close to you...I'll do anything for you", but in the back of his mind, he's thinking "you are such a tramp...I can't believe you're falling for this crap". I think she still looks back at the A with OM and thinks that he treated her with more respect than I did/do. And yet I'm pretty sure OM isn't sitting around with his buddies, drinking beer, talking about how "great" of a person my W was to him during the affair...I'm sure it's more of a high five "guess what she did to me" type of conversation. I'm sure she'd disagree with me, but that's exactly what he is doing right now.
Last edited by introvert; 07/25/08 02:41 PM.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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