Right on about the puppy & kitty. I just recently told a friend that my male cat has been the best male I've ever been close to. He's warm and sleeps next to me every night. Always been loyal to me.

Also, I haven't had a meltdown in over a month. Yeah me!

People have remarked that I seem calmer. I tell them it's the Ativan. Still don't sleep too well. But I go to the gym every day. 7 days a week. I found out that I type 79 wpm. Zero errors. I'm also back to reading books. And I'm back to going to movies with friends. I still don't have enough courage to watch P.S. I Love You though. That may take awhile.

My settlement conference is in July. The actual trial is in August. I really don't want this whole mess to ruin my b-day. I wonder if he's nasty enough to try and ruin the entire month of August? I worry about that. But not talking to him has been the best thing ever. I don't know what I'd do without my intermediary. She has taken alot of stress off me. I'd still be in the psych ward of my local hospital without her. And my attorney should win a prize for being able to deal with me.

Good news though: No panic/anxiety meltdowns in awhile. Everybody said every month is easier. Eight months ago I didn't believe the pain would ever become bearable. But it has.

Got tickets to see Rooney at House of Blues. I can't wait.

I finally talked to my mom today. Haven't talked to her in a very long time. I told her what was happening. She kinda yelled at me for not calling sooner and telling her what was going on. She is sending me money. She said that every woman should have their own private account with at least $5K in it. I told her I used to have that account & that I'd used it all up. So she is sending me money. I also got a call for a job interview at a mortgage company. Full time and paid hourly. I interview on Friday. And it's not too far away. Hopefully it all works out. I need a job & $$$ asap.

My mom told me that from now on I am to call her every single Friday morning. She said she doesn't care that my dad is a grumpy ol' fart and it's his problem that he's still mad at me for speaking my mind 7 yrs ago! She said she is so disappointed in WS. She said she never would've thought he would do something like this. I told her me too!

Also, 2 friends who don't even know each other have given me their patio furniture. For free! And now all I need is an umbrella up there. It looks good. I sat up there this evening and read for awhile. Very relaxing.

So that's my update for now. I'm doing OK. Ativan is still my friend though.

Aren't moms grand???

I'm glad you have such wonderful support.

Today was ok. I'm going over all of the D paperwork. The pre-trial settlement conference is 7/28. I need to speak to atty to figure out the game plan.

Each day I have been going to the gym. It sure helps. And my skin is clearing up.

On Friday I'm going to the House of Blues for a concert. I can't wait.

That's great, Sunshine!!

You are gonna ROCK AND ROLL in court, Baby!! And we are all going to be here pulling for you. You will feel us with you, just as I felt everyone with me when I had to make the first court appearance.

Rock on, Sissa!!

Charlotte

So today was the pre-trial settlement conference. I asked for 3 things. 1. my fancy bed frame and head/foot board. 2. my cats 3. my things in the storage unit. Found out he gave away the bed. The judge told him to get it back. I was so mad that I started crying. I told the court I also wanted sole, permanent custody of my cats. Cuz I know if I didn't that he'd want Katrina someday down the line.

But we have to go to trial for the spousal support. He didn't want to pay it. I think he should. So I have to go to Tucson in August. I am so not happy about this. I have that scared, panicky feeling again. Just like the old days. He sounded different. Not the same.

I just think that now I'll have to see him again. But, it also gives me a chance to see this OW. Should be interesting.

I'm going to go take a few more Ativan.

Hey if I can get it off want me and my crew to load up and come out for support? No def plans on it at the moment though I think I asked for that weekend off anyways!!! It would be fun to do And great to be there to support you. I just need to check over a few things!

I love it...the judge made him get back something he'd gotten rid of.....that's wonderful....and those kitties will be lucky to have you.

That would be so wonderful. It's 8/13 at around noon. I'm supposed to talk to atty & see what we do from here.

I will see what we can come up with.. Who knows Keep us posted as well!!!

Well the court date is 8/13. I'm already really anxious & so nervous. And the stupid crying has started again. I'm sitting in the movies watching The Mummy 3 and I start crying. Why? I don't know. Just did. I had my friends daughter with me and I knew I had to keep it together until I took her home.

And I got my Jeep back from the auto body shop. Something just isn't right with her. The steering is weird and the back bumper doesn't look right. Plus they didn't put the Jeep decals on it at all. I found them on the back floor board. I will call the atty on Monday and explain how it doesn't feel right. And I feel crummy. My entire body aches. From head to toe. And my hands & arms. And I have to fly to Tucson like this. I hope my Dr. renews my pain medication Rx. Cuz I wanna take it as carry on.

I bought the last Stephanie Meyer book Breaking Dawn today. So I'm gonna start reading that & hope to finish by sometime tomorrow. It better have a happy ending.

Def get your jeep relooked at. I wouldnt want to drive something that doesnt feel right or that the person who worked on it did a rush/bad job and you get into another accident.

The atty called yesterday. He says that my trial has been pushed back AGAIN! Now to 8/25. I told him I'd already spent nearly $500 for 2 plane tickets. Luckily through SW airlines. I can reuse them for something else. But atty is going to talk to WS again about alimony. Atty doesn't think the judge will give me alimony. Said he could even take away things from me. Hopefully this all will be over soon. I just feel like I'm in a holding pattern and that I can't move on until this is all over. If I don't have to ever see him again I think would be easier for me.

Two more friends from high school have found me via my facebook and myspace accts. They had heard about what had happened to me from the small town gossip grapevine and were sending me good thoughts and good wishes. They both had been through rough D's and wanted me to know that I was gonna be OK. It's so weird. I haven't seen these people in nearly 20 yrs. And they tracked me down to give me support. I cried and cried reading their posts to me. Made me sad and happy all at the same time. Sad that so many people I know went through this kind of trauma and then happy because they cared enough to send me a positive email. My network of friends has grown so much since this all started. Even my friend from Australia called me on the phone to let me know she'd found out from a mutual friend in NYC. She invited me to Australia to recuperate. Which I thought was so wonderful.

I wonder sometimes if my WS has this many friends supporting him and giving him good thoughts/vibes? I don't think so.

The job hunt is also looking up. I've had help from 3 major mgt types from my old job. They helped me totally redo my entire resume. So hopefully a good full time job is just around the corner.

And the MRI for my car accident is 8/20. My back, neck and shoulder are messed up!

I called the atty & told him to get this whole mess over with. He told me he'd get it taken care of it. I am gonna be ok. Emotionally and financially. I've got some job interviews coming up.

The MRI has been rescheduled to 9/4. My back, arms and hands ache all the time. I don't sleep very well, but I need a job. So I am looking. A friend said there is openings at her company and she is going to refer me.

Hopefully they can find out what is wrong with my back. Get it fixed so I can sleep at night.

I think I'm gonna be ok. It's gonna be 1 year soon. I just need a really good job where I work alot of long hours and don't have to think about things. The more I work, the easier it will be.

But I'll live.

I heard that most people who have back problems are low in Vitamin D.

It sounds like a trip to a chiropractor could help your back too.

I take 2 multivitamins each day & I see the chiro 2 or 3 times each week.



What I want to know is this. It says that we shouldn't date or get close to anybody for 2 yrs after our divorce. That's gonna put me at 40+. Which means I'm gonna be a single old cat lady. Because all of the men my age are dating 20 something aerobics instructors. My prospects are going to be very, very slim. This is very worrying to me.

HEY!! Who you callin' old?!

40 is YOUNG, Sista!! You will experience a rebirth! You will become younger!! Wait and see!

Charlotte

<<<<<And this helps. A LOT! Especially belly dancing!



Charlotte