Okay, here's my deal. Yep, I'm still up. Working on inventory.
Anyhoo....
I think that Gray probably thinks I want revenge or whatever. Well, I don't. However...I gotta say it was very gratifying watching Shiny tear her up on the stand. I look forward to Round 2!
And I can see she wants to rub things in my face. She sure tried. And from the stand, no less. Oh yeah, and then there was the waving and the trying to talk to me.
So anyway, I may never tell him, but I did tell OWH this the day I gave him the evidence.
I don't harbor any ill will. And I mean it. Early on, before I was led to MB by a higher power, I decided in my own mind that I would purge any bad feelings and not even think evil thoughts about him or about her.
I didn't think it would solve anything. I still felt like crap warmed over otherwise, but in that department I thought I was doing the right thing.
Mel even asked me why I wasn't mad. So did DIL. Get angry! They said. Well, I tried. I even DID have a couple of rants here and there, mostly when I was in my cups. Which was another wonderful reason to get OUT of my cups!! Wasn't doing anything but putting negative in me along with the alcohol.
I have thought about it a lot and I think that whole snafu with my ex-SIL helped in that department. I had to go through so much emotionally with all of that. It was truly awful.
And I thought about that a lot when I waited for Gray to come home from work as it got later and later in the evening, and I'd have my Bloody Mary or two to calm my nerves.
I would have been in a heck of a fix, though, if not for MB. Things would have been a LOT different and I wouldn't be here right now, speaking sanely. (for the most part!
)
I was thinking today about the horrible shape I was in a year ago. Wow! A whole year!! It is right around that time where my body was starting to rebel because I wasn't eating. My Mom got me stuff to replace fluid and have at least some liquid nutrition and I had trouble with even that.
It's right around that time of year of that day I almost collapsed. I barely managed to get to the post office to send an important document to the courthouse because of Gray's DWI & Posession bust. He had forgotten all about it.
I went back to my grandma's and I was weak as a kitten. My stomach wasn't holding down anything. It would barely hold down water. I was supposed to see an IC that day but I had to cancel. I tried to call Gray to come and get me but he didn't answer. I slowly made my way home. I made it into the house and made it to the bathroom going v e r y s l o w l y.
I vomited. I was extremely dizzy. All my fluids were depleted. I crawled to the couch. He came in at some point, got me a bucket. I was SO dizzy, I didn't dare move even a FINGER. If I did, I had another violent heaving spell.
There wasn't even anything in me to come up. Foam. That was it. It was awful. This went on for 18 hours. He would check on me once-in-a-while while he was still up. I dragged myself to bed somehow but it was a long journey.
It hadn't changed by morning and he went in to work. I crawled out to the couch. I would crawl a few feet and then I had to lie down on the floor until the dizziness got better. I made it to the couch, though.
He was going to leave work to take me to the doctor but I nixed the idea. I didn't think I'd be able to make it. I tried to eat crackers and very bland things to build up some strength.
Yeah, when he left that morning I apologized for being so sick...I had a spell while he was nearby and I thought for sure my internal organs were going to come up.
He said, "It wasn't that bad." Me: ??????? What? Are you KIDDING me? (I didn't say it, but I thought it.) I really thought that he'd have to call 911 so they could hook me up to an IV.
It was awful. I have NEVER vomited that violently before, not even when I had too much to drink.
I think back to that horrible day and WOW!
Well, I didn't mean to get gross here but I was thinking about it and I wanted to write it down.
It's just hard to fathom...it was so, so, so, so, so bad and I thought it was the end of the world. And then I look at today, at the amazing difference!!!
Tomorrow, well, actually today, my nieces are coming into town with my sister. I am so happy to be here so I can have fun with them!!
I'll be in after Gray leaves on Saturday for a report. Hmmmm...what to wear? LOL!
IF he shows up. I think he will. I think he will try and get stuff out of me. I'm not worried, though. I can handle that creaky, drug-addled alien.
Have a nice weekend, Y'all!!
Charlotte