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Oh I missed the part about the proposed email.
How bout the flirty stuff and THEN say, oh, and by the way.... (the text of the other email.)
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Bugsy, I only have a minute here, so this is all off the top of my head, but your proposed email seems a lot like laying all your cards down on the table. Is it too soon for that?
My only advice is for you to consult your notes from your meeting with Steve. What do you think Steve would want you to do?
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Bugsy, I only have a minute here, so this is all off the top of my head, but your proposed email seems a lot like laying all your cards down on the table. Is it too soon for that?
My only advice is for you to consult your notes from your meeting with Steve. What do you think Steve would want you to do? Now that I think about it, I agree with SDguy. Maybe just stick with the short and sweet flirty stuff for now.
Last edited by princessmeggy; 08/06/08 03:52 PM. Reason: added agreement with SDguy.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Bugs,
I think you are moving in for the kill much too fast. Circle for a while because this beast isn't quite ready to be eaten.
Just my .02.....
BS - me 56
XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Hi Bugs, I don't think I've ever posted to your thread before, but I follow along. You're in good hands, and I don't really have anything to add regarding your situation. But this caught my eye: I was very careful to be positive and have no judgments - which is a bit hard due to DSS being borderline overweight. Also, DSS made a comment about "My dad said he might PUT me in wrestling this year". The dr jumped on that comment and said sports should be what HE wants to do. I've made that statement before when Drac's PUT DSS in sports and it never went over well. In the email, I told him what was said, but made the comment "It's really hard finding something that really sparks DSS's interest, isn't it?". Has DSS ever played on a rock climbing wall? I understand it's a good way to get an all-over workout, without the team sports and competition aspect. I hated team sports as a child, but I think I would have loved rock climbing. <back to lurking>
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Hey you all, I'm not ignoring your great advice/posts about the longer email, but I have a more pressing matter for the moment and I need your help!! I replied to his email about next Thurday Okey dokey.
I am staying over, as I plan to have some fun. One never knows just what that might include;);)
I'll make other arrangements for Ladybug His reply Wanna really have some fun - we should show up together. That would have them all talking I'll be honest, my stomach just dropped when I read this. Fun & flirty is certainly getting some response. so,,,,,,,,,,,NOW WHAT????????????
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Someone please ANSWER, the suspense is killing me. 
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Bugsy: About this: "I just wanted to say thank you.
Thank you for your support last week during Dad's heart attack. As hard the entire situation was, knowing you were there for me made it easier. I wish I could express what that meant to me.
Thank you for calling me last night when my car would not start. I was really scared when I turned that key and nothing happened.
Thank you for the offer to come help me.
Thank you so much for keeping me on the Triple A membership and for letting me know that I'm still covered. Knowing that I am covered gives me a lot of peace of mind.
Thank you for the offer to drive Dad's truck while you would have to take a ride to get a company vehicle. It was one less worry for me and Lord knows that I could use less of those these days!
Thank you for allowing for the possibility of email interpretation being the issue in my message about DSS's doctor visit. I know that it is difficult with email. There is a lot of room for misunderstanding or taking things the wrong way. I wasn't trying to imply that I wasn't 100% willing to help with DSS.
I don't know if you have the letter I gave you last year when I asked you to communicate via email. I tried to explain in that letter why things have to be this way. I don't know if I did a good job of explaining or not. Probably not. We were both in a different place then. I may not have written it well and you may have taken it differently than I had intended. " How about this: "I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for your support last week during Dad's heart attack. As hard the entire situation was, knowing you were there for me made it easier. You also offered alot of support last night, and I appreciate that, although I had already other arrangements to resolve the transportation issues. Bugs Nothing about the email comm. (WAAAHHH) IF he responds negativly to your "additional info email for DSS" I would send a reply to him and use the Plan B Para you wrote. And leave it at that. He stabbed you and continued to do so. He thinks because he ISN'T RIGHT NOW, that you should be nice to him. NOT. He dropped by to pick up DSS and kept it "business-like". Had he not, had he spent some time, or tried to make small talk. or "What additional info?" I would recommend differently. But he didn't. He was all business. About the meeting next week, obviously GODDESS-DIVA, that's a given. About Drac's email? Well. I would let him lead on that. "Yes, you will be there, may get a sitter of ladybugs if I decide to stay longer." Flirty, but somewhat neutral. Let him lead from there. Remember, he was stabbing you last month. Let him start the process of atonement. LG
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Bugs: My earlier post was not completed and I was stuck on the phone for business. And then you had your little exchange with Drac. This isn't "Let's give them something to talk about!" Bonnie Raitt Drac is proceed down that path that Lexxxy described. Be a little more "hard to get" LG
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Hey you all, I'm not ignoring your great advice/posts about the longer email, but I have a more pressing matter for the moment and I need your help!! I replied to his email about next Thurday Okey dokey.
I am staying over, as I plan to have some fun. One never knows just what that might include;);)
I'll make other arrangements for Ladybug His reply Wanna really have some fun - we should show up together. That would have them all talking I'll be honest, my stomach just dropped when I read this. Fun & flirty is certainly getting some response. so,,,,,,,,,,,NOW WHAT???????????? I LOL when I read this. Too funny. Is he predictable or what? You could reply with, "Hey I think they wrote a song about that... "Let's Give Them Something to Talk About".
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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That song was the first thing I thought of, too.
As we worked together when we first met, it was a bit of a theme song for us back then. Also, it's in the movie with the same title. We both like that movie and that's where we got Ladybug's nickname. In the movie Randy Quaid calls their daughter doodlebug.
If you all know the movie Randy Quaid gets busted cheating but in the end pulls his wayward he head out of his rectum and they reconcile.
I think I like that response, Meggy. Simple without really committing one way or another.
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Ok, so here's what I sent Now that song is stuck in my head - "Let's Give 'Em Somthing to Talk about. Good movie, too. His reply That's why I'm afraid to eat your cooking. In the movie, his wife's Aunt gives her a "special" recipe to 'teach him a lesson. She over does the special ingredient and he ends up in the hospital thinking she was trying to kill him when she just wanted to make him sick. It's really pretty funny. So,,,,,,,,,,,here I am again trying to think of a reply.
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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I'm not sure I'd reply. Is there a question in there? What is there to say?
Let him chase you....don't respond too quickly.
It could be fun to watch him fall all over himself to apologize when he thinks you are offended by the cooking comment.
Don't yank the line before the fish has swallowed ALL the bait.
Fox
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Perfect answer, Fox!
Besides, I had to unhook from my docking station and with no power cord, I'm almost out of battery!!
It's a sure sign that no response is the way to go for the moment.
I'm headed home and will check back in with you all when I get 'fully charged' again!
Thanks everyone!!
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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take it SLOOOOOWWWWWWW.
not too available. not too quick with responses.
each step should be well thought out.
its really cool that he is responding to you (not as a mommy).
I'd bet anything that the boyfriend questions from littlebugs were prompted by something he said to her. And as a direct result of the ballgame.
Don't be too available yet.
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GOOD LAWD, WOMAN!!!
Yup, stop responding right now. Leave it there. Let him come to you, for each and every opening interaction that is possible (barring you contacting him about emergency changes and such). Let him email you with questions, and THEN you answer--you can throw something spicy in it and then walk away, EACH TIME. Don't give in and start talking on the phone too soon, either. Stick to businesslike conduct with a little Plan A mixed in until he is BEGGING for you to TALK to him.
You want to be the wife, not the friendly coparent, the entertainment or the HO ( I know you are not a HO BTW--you are much too much of a Goddess for THAT role). RESPECT and LOVE.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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its really cool that he is responding to you (not as a mommy) That's what I was thinking too!
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Like James said, Bugs is walking a tightrope right now. I agree with the "wait until he really takes all the bait and buries the hook" sentiment. My gut says it is too soon and that Drac needs to keep defogging.
Plus, I'm afraid to see Bugs drop her protection too soon. I'm afraid I would drop mine too soon if I started seeing signs like Bugs is seeing, so I worry for her some.
However, I don't know [censored].
There was this guy that I think you talked to. He's got some experience with this sort of thing. Seems like maybe you dropped some money to get his opinion. What did Steve say? Review your notes. What would he want you to do right now?
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Bugs: James said this: Bugs is walking a tightrope right now The interesting thing is.... Her tightrope is about 6 inches off the ground. She can step off any time. And walk away. And if the rope got any higher, she has plenty of people around here to hold the net. LG
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GOOD LAWD, WOMAN!!!
Yup, stop responding right now. Leave it there. Let him come to you, for each and every opening interaction that is possible (barring you contacting him about emergency changes and such). Let him email you with questions, and THEN you answer--you can throw something spicy in it and then walk away, EACH TIME. Don't give in and start talking on the phone too soon, either. Stick to businesslike conduct with a little Plan A mixed in until he is BEGGING for you to TALK to him.
You want to be the wife, not the friendly coparent, the entertainment or the HO ( I know you are not a HO BTW--you are much too much of a Goddess for THAT role). RESPECT and LOVE. DING! DING! DING! I think SL's got it!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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