Hello All,

New here, having a tough time. I read somewhere on these boards that there was a list of signs of infidelity posted somewhere but I can't find them. Can anyone point me in the right direction?
Thanks in advance.

Try this:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/000985.html

Why do you suspect an affair?

Thanks for replies and thxs for link.

She said the words "She sees me like a friend" out of to me no where on July 2. Since then I've been doing everything on this website and others I found to try to corret our situation. She hasn't budged, but won't leave. I realized I was accountable for LB's and her En's have not been met. My fault, all I can do is try to fix situation.

Since nothing is working, I've also started seeing more signs of secrecy with email and phone calls. She has bought new sexy underwhere, but we haven't had sex in a while. The optomist in me was thinking it's my emeotional handicaps and if I fix them she will come back. I know I've always been nieve, so am looking for more signs now.

Already from the list, I see many more that I wasn't aware were signs. Not feeling so good right now.

Thanks again for help.

Sorry to say it man, but those are some classic signs of an affair. And if she is buying classy underwear, then it may be about to go physical. You have very little time to stop it before it reaches that phase, if it hasn't already.

I'd recommend a keylogging program on your computer immediately. It will capture every keystroke that is made, along with even taking screen captures. You can also set it up to email the logs to your work if you don't have enough privacy at home to review them. I liked the "All-in-one" keylogger, but another one by Specter is popular too.

What about checking the phone bill to see if there is a specific number that has been texted or called repeatedly?

thxs again for help..I am hireing PI, but I think tomorrow mourning is when she is going to meet him and PI can't go that quickly. I am getting software installed and checking phone bills. I just hope she doesn't find out. If nothing is going on and I'm crazy, she will leave me for sure. I just wish I didn't push her into this position.

How long have you been married? Any kids?

Do you know anything about the possible OM?

married 8 years. no kids together, 2 girls 14,15 hers from previous, but I am more than acting father. It hurts me to think what they may be going through.

not sure about the other man or if there is one..just a feeling

If I'd guess, I''d say an ex-coworker.

Installed spy software, see shes making plans to go out with an ex-coworker, on days that I'm working. She did invite others, but she said "again" in the email so apparently she goes out often while I'm at work. Still, with all that, I feel like I betrayed HER trust by installing the software. Big hole in my chest right now

This is a war, man. You don't need to feel bad at all for trying to protect your marriage. Your wife is causing you damage behind your back.

What were the problems before all of this happened?

Have you talked with her? Have you asked her if she is having an affair?

Have you asked yourself, really thought about this - What will you do if you find out that she has had or is having an affair? You may want to consider what you will do with what ever you find out otherwise you will respond in emotion and that might not be the best thing.

Bad communication on my part is a biggy...not in frequency..but my listening skills..realized it 3 weeks ago after things went sour. Been improving since (imo). She doesn't like to talk. (mostly my poor listening skills). A few LB's for both of us, and a few en's not being met on both our parts. If I had found this site a year ago it may have been better already. I know I shouldn't play the blame game, but I feel awful right now...for my mistakes in our marriage and for spying.

I try to talk with her all the time, but she never wants to. I asked her 2x about a physical affair and 1x about an emotional 1 in the span on 1 month. She replied no to all. I think it is only emotional at this point, but about to progress. I am still trying to prevent it by making myself better and eliminating my LB's. If it's going to happen, it is going to happen no matter what I do.

The PI said to try to catch them 2x. If they get something after 1st time, I won't want to see it. Too many emotions to store if 2nd isn't imediate. After 2nd (and this is all if they do anything), I am hoping to say it's over (too much for me to take, I wouldn't be able to trust her again) and go to friends house till I can go back. Don't want to loose rights to home, but she has less places to go (om is married). At least this is what I hope for now.

Thxs for the help. I did think, but not really think about it before. Any advice on this is appreciated. And I hope through emotions, I can stick to my plan.