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Why? Hu will just read about it, then discuss it with himself...since he and his BW are the same person.
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth"
Henry David Thoreau
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If Hu and his BW the same person, who is he cheating on? His right hand?
(sorry, that was bad)
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If Hu and his BW the same person, who is he cheating on? His right hand?
(sorry, that was bad) Yeah, but it was hilarious!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Charlotte
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LOL.
Since he doesn't seem to understand why OMW would benefit from knowing about the A...and the advice to expose would be HELPFUL to their M, I thought the basic concepts might help him.
But since he has his own agenda...and likely lost his own OW once the A was exposed, it may not make much difference. Thought it would be worth a shot.
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Pill, Would you stop by my thread when you get a chance? It may look familiar... Thanks. MogiSola My New Thread
Last edited by MogiSola; 08/11/08 01:11 PM. Reason: added link
BW (me) FWH (him - he's earning the F) 3 boys (4, 5, and 7) M 1997 LT EA/PA 2004-2007 D-Day #1 Feb 2006 Joined MB. D-Day #2 Feb 2008 D-Day #3 Aug 2008 Began REAL recovery Sept 2008.
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Tri,
I wanted to point out stuff already pointed out for clarity...
The A has not been over for two years. It only ended on 6/1/08 when NC was finally established. Which means WW is in withdrawal...no more contact for life...and we don't POJA until recovery really begins...after withdrawal.
Next, you're about to go from enemies to allies again in your marriage...which means you come to understand your enemy was the A, not your real wife...quite a shift after just understanding your marriage was being assaulted for two-three years, eh? So not keeping a secret that your WW, OM and you have now (because you now know of the affair) from the OMW is essential...you are not to be a party to deceit...or made one by omission (as they did to you and to OMW). Time to live in radical honesty in your marriage, which means you stand for your marriage, and understand that even if someone else thinks you informed OMW for revenge YOU know you did not...you did it so as not to be part of further betrayal.
OMW may already know, somewhat know, suspect or be clueless...you don't know. You can't know...so tell her, anyway. You act brave, from your own code...and realize you only just found out two months ago...and it's been two months you've withheld your new knowledge from OMW...act and let the outcome go, 'k?
All that was in your considering, weighing, etc. wasn't in your control...not for you to choose...for them...you were and continue to withhold the truth until you don't...take yourself out of being an ally to the A and back into standing for your marriage...inform now and let the rest go...you're not doing the harm, you're reporting the harm which has already been done.
Just as others have said...you will not experience O&H in your own marriage if you're unwilling to act from it yourself. You know that deep down...stop trying to control the outcome...none of us can, 'k?
Gives your marriage a clean slate and fresh start...which is it won't have until you both act on the side of marriage, 'k? You're both worth it...won't change the past...will definitely change your present.
We're here for you, in all our various opinions, as friends of your marriage and of Marriage. Thank you for being here.
LA
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Ah, got it. Will be stopping by soon
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I think you, MelodyLane and others, just like to have people become a BS so you can preach to them. Izzat you, Mr. Foggy??
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So this guy "hu" really posted as his own betrayed wife and is still around complaining that he thought this was supposed to be a marriage building website?? I'm picturing Will Ferrell at the keyboard for some reason.
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I think you, MelodyLane and others, just like to have people become a BS so you can preach to them. As far as I can tell it takes a WS to make someone become a BS, there is no other way around it or is he trying to say what one doesn't know won't hurt them? I feel sorry for his BS and even sorrier if she...he?...she doesn't know.
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agedcadilliac, I don't think that logic is his friend, if ya get my drift.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So this guy "hu" really posted as his own betrayed wife and is still around complaining that he thought this was supposed to be a marriage building website?? I'm picturing Will Ferrell at the keyboard for some reason. Yeap, he certainly did. We kept asking him if he told his wife about his cheating, and despite his assuring us he did, we weren't convinced. So, outta the blue comes Mrs. HU (her screen name eludes me at the moment). She was posting up a storm about how HU was complex and WAS at one time a baaaaaad husband but trying now, blah blah blah. Then a few folks (namely ML, Intovert, etc.) did some data mining and noticed Mr. HU never posted the same time (date/time stamp) as Mrs. HU. They always posted serially. We went round and round with HU about it, and he finally admitted he was posing as his wife here on MB. He also admitted he hadn't told her anything about his adultery. He lied to us. Jo
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he was posting as a GURL!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Bumping to see if TriSolo will share what he has decided to do regarding exposure to OMW.
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I've been absent for a while... sorry not to reply earlier.
I've decided to tell the OMW. I hate to do it, to put her through what I've been going through, but I'm actually glad I found out, so I know she needs to be told.
Telling her has been delayed a bit because of summer holidays, but I assume they are back at home now, so I'm going to ring this week, no, I'm going to do it tomorrow! Man, do I wish I didn't have to do this....
Thanks again for all the support, I post about how it went.
Tri
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As the oatmeal man say's: It's the right thing to do.
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