Believer I do get that statistically most affairs do eventually end....what I am struggling with now is the notion that while in a LTA they can still be in fantasyland..surely the honeymoon phase has gone and "normal" life resumes(reality)along with all the everyday problems that life throws their way...

In my case WH and OP have had their fair share of obstacles and they are still together,20 months on....I'm sorry if I am sounding like a goof ball but what "proof" do we have that its still fantasyland for them?WH is in the process of divorcing me how is that not reality or is just their affair not reality?

Have former waywards that were in a LTA confessed to still being fogged and in fantasyland?I would imagine by now to them they are in a steady relationship.....just venting whats on my mind....

I think I have to try forget about them as its driving me insane today trying to figure out WH's mind frame.

I was feeling very down this morning,I think cos DS15 is with WH.
I got a call from the inspecter dealing with DS18's motorbike accident.It has been 2 years a only now is something happening!

The guy who hit DS18 was drunk and ran away at the scene of the accident...WH gave up on chasing after the case.The legal system in S.A. is appauling and people literally get away with murder here.I told my divorce lawyer who happens to be a criminal magistrate who only deals in murders,about the case and she has been pressurising the inspecter in charge.Hopefully we'll see some results.The guy who hit my son lives in our town so its been hard having to see him driving around..especially for my son.
I TM WH and told him the news..I was in two minds cos he had given up long ago ...I tried to get regular updates for mt sons sake too..as parents we must fight on our kids behalf...right?

His response was'great,thanks for letting me know'

DS18 was pleased too

Sounds good that something is finally happening in your son's case. Here, the driver would have had to pay compensation or be in jail.

As far as the affair, I'm sure your husband will get very tired of being on his best behavior. People will do that for awhile, but it doesn't last. Sooner or later the two of them will show their real selves. And the sacrifices will be too much and their taker will come out in force.

I'm hoping the guy will get a hefty fine or jail time...he is a known drunk...+-60 years old...

I hope their takers come out in full force very soon!!
Just texting him this morning made me miss him...I thought I was over those feelings...planB is a definite for me....I wanted to ask him to come home!!..crazy...
Will go back to using my intermediary

:twobyfour: Wait a minute. I thought you WERE in PLan B. See how contact sets you back? Honestly, WH doesn't deserve ANY news from you, good or bad. This was something he could have found out from the boys.

to you, you'll be okay... work the Plan dear.

I hate to think what sort of emotional state I would be in now if I hadn't found MB and all you wonderful people....

I just thought WH would appreciate the news coming from me,if I hadn't told him myself maybe he would have thought I was been nasty and withholding info....I know silly,had a weak moment of sucking up to WH.

Zero tolerance for drinking and driving in my mind. I indulge in a drink (in fact H and I are enjoying a glass right now). If you can afford to have drink after drink you can afford a taxi.

It's just not worth it.

Good luck!

I am feeling better today dispite the fact that DS18 is about to leave to spend the weekend with WH.I am working tomorrow afternoon which is a bummer as the springboks are playing the all blacks(rugby tri-nations) and I'm going to miss it!!Going to join friends afterwards for a barbique(braai for us!)

I still haven't heard from my lawyer,its been 9 days now.I'm just curious as to what the delay is,otherwise I'm in no rush

DS15 has left his computer at home so I will at least be able to chat this weekend..

WH just came to fetch DS18...WH knocked and came inside...I heard DS18 tell WH "moms here at home hey" WH said loudly"just helping you carry stuff to the car"
I am sitting in DS15's "new" bedroom on his computer and I was worried WH would put his head round the corner to see his room.I kept dead quiet.He had her kids in the car too,had fetched them from school.

I was chatting to a friend at work who had an affair for a year and a child was the product of it.He is raising the child with his wife who he went back to.I asked him what he thought about the saying that if a person has an affair they'll do it again.He replied very quickly"then they haven't learnt their lesson if the do it again!'I tend to agree with him. He says my WH will grow tired of OP eventually...he says the sex dies down eventually too!

Well we lost the rugby...but after work yesterday I went to friends and we had a great party/barbeque...got home at 3.30 this morning!!A girlfriend of mine,who had seen OP and WH at a party about 6 months ago, commented that she had seen OP in the mall last week and OP has put on a LOT of weight!That put a smile on my face.

I'm supposed to be going out tonight with 2 of my single friends for drinks but I'm having second thoughts...I must stay clear of the male species me thinks!!

I just wanted to greet a fellow countryman.

I confess that I don't watch rugby or cricket anymore lest I jinx the game. The point is that SA losing WAS NOT my fault this time!

I'm glad that you enjoyed the braai. Here is to more of the same!

Stay away from other men until you are divorced and a year goes by. I know, no fair. But otherwise you could get into a mess when the affair ends and hubby wants to rekindle the romance with you.

My ex is still wanting to get back together. But I have another man. It makes me sad sometimes.

Imagine its so cool to have another South African here!!Where do you live?I will try to find your thread.I love watching the Springboks play..also enjoy 1 day cricket.

I've often wondered if there were any S.Africans hanging around here....

Well, Sunday evening I went out with my girlfriends,they can be very persuasive..band was great...I met a sweet guy...NOTHING HAPPENED!....just chatted,I was upfront with him about my situation.I will not date till the divorce is through...I really don't see WH changing his mind so I am not going to lock myself away,I will set up my boundaries and protect myself from getting involved.
DS18 came with a friend...one of my girlfriends told me that she had chatted with DS18 and he is proud of me for how I am dealing with things and that his very protective of me.It was really nice to hear....

Today is OP's birthday and I'm trying not to think of it!

One of our long time posters, Suzette, is from SA. She is the FWW. She has quite a story, hubby out of work for a long time, trying for a baby for years....

Anyway, she just updated a couple weeks ago that she is 4 months pregnant and very, very happy.

Thank you for pointing out that my location is not marked. Maybe someone can tell me how to do this. It should read Fairest Cape.

You won't find description of me on any thread but I have just posted an explanation of my presence on Mogi Solo's thread - BE WARY. (Basically aspiring writer)

I love the fact that this board has Christian based moderation and roots.

Unlike almost everybody on this site I have a wonderful and loyal spouse (WW = Wonderful Wife in this case).

I must comment that it is inspiring to see someone who Hopes and prays speaking to a Believer.

Well is been quiet in my life....DS15 is spending this week with WH.I wasn't too happy about it but DS15 said he doesn't want to lose his dad...so sad.

I heard via DS18's BF's mom that when the boys were with WH a fortnight ago,on his weekend,WH misbehaved.WH had made a barbaque saturday afternoon and proceeded to burn the meat as he was drunk.OP had to defrost more meat....WH subsequently passed out and DS18 had to finish off with the barbeque!!!
The kids said NOTHING to me...they know I'll be upset though.
It doesn't sound like a happy chappy to me!!!!!

Today DS18 needed a lift home from school as I was working the late shift.DS18 phoned him from school in the morning and WH was irritated cos he had to fetch OP's 3 kids and our DS15 from 3 different schools in a 15km radius AND then fetch OP from work!!WH said he can't keep going backwards and forwards on the road and that he couldn't fetch DS18!!!!lol must be terrible being a taxi driver and using his own petrol!!!

I've heard nothing more about D papers.WH sent me a text asking very nicely for a copy of my I.D book for the bank to ok the loan.I faxed it to him and he text back "thank you'.I didn't reply.

Oh, my lawyer did phone me to say WH had agreed to buying me a car to the value of his pension that I could have taken in the Div agreement.

She said she had asked his lawyer what reason did WH give for the breakdown of the marriage.WH said that I "WOULDN'T EVER FORGIVE HIM FOR BUYING THE MOTORBIKE THAT DS18 HAD THE ACCIDENT WITH!'It just confirmed to me that I was right about his mind set when he had the affair...he felt extremely guilty....I think he needs to forgive himself and he hasn't dealt with it.He could have told his lawyer ANY EXCUSE ..but he obviously felt safe talking to a stranger.

My lawyer has put pressure on the cops and the case is going to court soon.She said it will be good for WH to get closure on the accident too.I think shes right...we all need closure.

Sounds like there are little cracks in fantasyland. Very good. I wouldn't be at all happy if the cookd got drunk and burned the meat.

Also being a taxi service will get real old, and of course then there are the joys of living with other people's kids.

Hang in there.

My internet connection has been playing up at home which was very frustrating....so thats why I've been scarce around here

DS18 has just left to spend the weekend with WH so I am so glad I managed to connect!!!I always feel down when they leave.
I received a medical account from the aneathetist who assisted with DS18's op in APRIL!!Apparently our medical insurance had deposited the money into WH 's account and he was meant to pay the Doc.I always use to deal with the bills.....I gave it to DS18 to give to WH.$350.00..his going to be upset....he obviously isn;t keeping close tabs on his bank account!His most probably spent the money.

I had a relaxed day today,did some spring cleaning and visited my sister.No partying this weekend!!

The boys are coming home tomorrow morning,not evening, as DS18starts writing exams on Monday and he needs to revise his work.

Its going to be hard for me not to ask DS15 questions about his week long stay with WH.