I love my wife more than i ever thought possible, but she hes come to the decision that we need to spend time apart. I have been a stay at home dad mostly for the past 3-4 years working only 10-15 hrs.needless to say i don't have much.She needs time away from me but somehow expects me to remain here.She has been on a date once because she met some guy and she has grown feelings for him. she says the reason for us to be apart is that we don't work well together. I cant stand to see this end but i cannot look past the lies and the betrayal. i want to give her the time she needs, but should i stay here and sleep on the couch ? or should i find a place to stay? we have 3 kids and always wanted to be there instead of childcare which makes more sense than spending that money on childcare when it would just mean less time w/ the kids. i cannot leave the kids and would never but how can i give her time she needs while still living in the same house?
If we must get separated i must find a full time job if not more , but she refuses to let me get one that conflicts with her schedule , because it would only result in childcare. I want the best for the ones i love, but cannot deny my felling of i shouldn't be in the same house.We hardly saw each other anyways but there will be those times when we are here together.I have no idea what to do.I do have any number of places to stay for a while but if separation is what has to be done i feel i deserve the time to do what i need to secure a home and income to support the kids and myself.Should i move out and come back to watch the kids everyday? or ignore the everyday pain i feel of having my beloved in the next room? How do i give this time needed and still be the father i want to be?

I used to be the only provider and she was a stay at home mom for the same reasons.But i never looked down upon her because she wasn't bringing in money, she had the more important job of mom which is so much harder than any job, i know that now i am doing the same she did, but also working when i can to help fill that gap. it still isn't enough. So working at the same hours and putting the kids in childcare may be the only option? Even though its less time with our children it would be better because we can afford nicer things?I am not materialistic at all, but i know the kids deserve everything i can give. And i want to give them Everything i can. But just the idea of childcare is not even a option for her. is this fair to any of us? I want to take all the load i can , and also want to better myself for the family so i can provide the way i should. But with so little time for me to do that how can i expect to be that man i need and want to be.

She is still married to you. This means she is having an affair. You need to stand your ground and not be pushed around by her demands. You need to let her know that you two will not act as friends and roommates post-divorce. That she is the one causing the disruption in the family and she will be the one moving out and not taking anything. That you will get a job that suites your needs.

DO NOT allow yourself to be bullied by a wayward spouse.

I'm dealing with a wayward spouse also. The hurt and fear almomst caused me to get on my hands and knees and beg for her ill treatment. Be firm and and stand your ground. When I started acting stronger, my wife actually started treating me better. You don't deserve to be cheated on and then have your nose drug through it. I would let her know that.

Your wife is having an affair and you absolutely should not move out and 'give her space' to carry on her affair. It is not appropriate for a married woman to go on a date and it should not be acceptable to you. Repost your thread in General Questions II and start getting the advice of the posters there. Your marriage has zero chance of surviving as long as the affair continues.