I would really appreciate if guys that have made changes to themselves for the sake of their marriage give me advice on how to do it. Adivce from women is also vey welcomed.

I've been married for almost two years. No kids. Both in our mid-late 20's.

I'm not a good communicator, when we get into arguments I stay quiet most of the time, I don't address the problems that we have, sort of just brush them off, not a romantic person, I haven't stood up for my wife with my family, I haven't been there emotionally for her. I just haven't been a good husband to her. I've been a terrible one.

I've promised her so many times before that i'm going to change that things are going to get better, but I never do. I never fix those problems. Everytime we get into a fight it ends the same way, with me promising that I will change but never making it last.

I want to change, I want to fix our marriage and be happy but i don't know why I'm not capable of doing so.

How can I fix my marriage, how can I change?

If you were starting over single again and dated a woman how would you treat her? Would you spend hours talking to her and romancing her? Of course you would. See, that's the problem. You say you are not like that but didn't you have to be at some point when you dated??

I think Marriage Counselling would be a good start. I think you need to find out what's keeping you from doing the things you want to do. As well, she surely isn't meeting all your needs either, and since you're having trouble bringing those things to her attention, a MC can help expose those.

You could also take a good look at the 2 main books that generated this site, His Needs Her Needs, and Love Busters. There are several questionaires that help a couple discover what's missing in their relationship.

Not being a talker, not being romantic, not being emotional DOES NOT make you a terrible husband. It may NOT be the way your wife would like you to be. And I think it says GREAT THINGS about your love for your wife IF you try and change, IF SHE LIKES THOSE CHANGES. But, again, those things in themselves do NOT make you terrible. But if they cause friction in your marriage, you BOTH need to change in order to get along. Changing for your spouse says TONS about your dedication.

BUt, I must admit, because my wife does the same thing, you NOT standing up for her in front of YOUR family cuts deep deep wounds in your wife's feelings for you. Your WIFE is your closet family member, NOT anyone in your FOO.