Queenie


I am very concerned with this statement. Yes, we reap what we sow, but we are also not completely alone in our world. The consequences of OTHER peoples actions effect us as well. YOU are not SOLELY responsible for what happened in your marriage.

No matter our mistakes and faults, God forgives us. We must also forgive ourselves. AND, we can not take on responsibility for everyone else's actions either!

I am struggling to find the words I want to explain my thought to you on this!

Maybe I should take this opportunity to say - Stop Wallowing in your own guilt?!?! What is that getting you? It's certainly NOT what God wants you to be doing!!!

I think that's a pretty good way to say it. Thanks. I'll go take some aspirin now.

First, I really am in a very strong place emotionally. Actually I haven't been in such a place since before this happened or even in years and years. So having said that, I am really just sounding off, being introspective or interspective and looking at my behaviors from a healthier set of eyes.

I'm not beating myself up, but I am learning to accept my side of the street, because that's all I can do.

I don't know WH's side of the street. I can't judge him. I also can't condemn him because he is an addict in an active addiction. This affair didn't make him an addict he was one before that. He lived a dry drunk just like me and is very sick. He is destroying himself and has been for many years.

I'm just being totally honest and learning to accept my side of the street and it just is hard because my choices destroyed lives. Regardless of what he did, I did my own wreckage and am learning to accept it and seek G-d in how to move forward.

Maybe I am not writing the words correctly, but truly I am healing, learning to forgive and walking each step with G-d that he wants me to. I didn't EVER believe I would get to this place. But I am slowly really healing deep inside and seeing that my life is ok today.

Thanks Bugs.....

Queenie,



I'm ok with your statement of accepting your own side of the street. I have to question how YOUR choices destroyed lives? While choices you made may not have been conducive to keeping your marriage healthy, or even in tact, you didn't choose the DESTRUCTION of your family and your actions didn't MAKE your WS choose the Affair or force him to destroy your M and family.

Think a bit more about where to draw the line of your responsibility. I'm all about owning our own stuff,,,,just watch what you are 'borrowing' that doesn't really belong to you.

I LOVE to hear you talk about how STRONG you feel! Keep up that great work!

Hi Queenie,

How are you doing?

Queenie,

Glad to see you feeling stronger. Seems we go through ups and downs so rapidly at this point. Take advantage of the up....

I know that there is a reason and lesson in all of this, but I just haven't been privy to what that is. God will reaveal it in time. I just hope it's sooner rather than later! The last couple of days I've tried to figure out how this could be positive, and I've come up with some things that I hadn't thought about before. I'm probably just forcing puzzle pieces to fit right now, but it's therapy I guess....

Hi everyone,

I miss you lots. Well the unbelievable has happened. I am getting a life for myself. I'm happier these days and keeping way more busy than before. I don't think of you know who very much anymore. When I do, I remember you Mimi and shake my head and get it out of there.

It's the beginning of school and I am throwing myself into work so am not around right now getting ready.

I am off to meet with my sponsee and then head to school, finish up stuff for the return of staff and then go shopping for breakfast for staff tomorrow.

I'm finding more peace in my life. I'm finding that even though I miss my H beyond belief that pain just doesn't sit at the surface like it did. I didn't think it was possible, but you all were right. As sad as it is, I am moving on without him and can live my life today knowing he won't be home.

I think he is stupid and missing out on the very best life could offer, but that's his choice and I can't control that or him in anyways. I can't even control myself, I can just make choices that are best on G-ds will and new information and do the best I can.

I hope all is well with everyone. Smartie, if you are reading this, I have to charge my phone then give you a call and hear you laugh... 47-3. OUCH, that's a spanking beyond my dreams.

Talk to you soon everyone....

I've been wondering what you've been up to..sounds like it's FOR THE GOOD!!

Go Queenie! Peace!! Yeah!!

Yes, it's sad he is missing out, as you say, but you are doing what is BEST for YOU! keep up the great work. Life has lots of wonderful things in store for you!

Hi Queenie,


This is good news!

It's a definite sign to continue doing 'what you are doing'...an that it's the right direction for you...

((((((((((((((QUEENIE)))))))))))))))))

Hey Queenie,

I am so happy for you

and so sorry for the one who is loosing you.


You are a you know

Thanks ladies,

It's so weird, as peaceful as I am becoming and as I know I am moving on and forward, reading it from you put a knot in my stomach because it becomes real. How silly is that.

Oh well, I am G-d's miracle and need to keep on moving forward. I know that the love I have for my H is still there, tucked away should he ever decide on coming home.

I am not ready to say this is for the rest of my life, I can only stay in today and today I can live without him happily and contently.

My two older kids are all signed up for college. I had an argument with the younger child over his grades and going to driving school. His dad and I years ago set the mark that DYS and DD had to have B's for keys. He is pissed b/c OS didn't need to comply. I bought into it, but fortunately my friend was there to call me on it and help me get out real quick. Teenagers. I'm not backing down on it for two reasons, his father and I decided this together and I want to honor that man by holding to this and this is the smartest of all my children. He is more than capable of handling his school work and it was through his laziness that he had such horrible grades. I don't feel that rewarding him for bad choices is in his best interest. He starts high school this year... Hard to believe that my youngest is in high school and only has three more years. Once he is through, who knows where G-d will take me. Hopefully to Israel.

For those of you whose kids start school this week, I hope you have an awesome year. I know how hard my teachers are working for our kids and this is always a time of excitment.

Fortunately football is about to start in a little over a week. I met with my sponsee yesterday and it was awesome working with her on the steps. Watching it come to life is always so cool.

Thank you Miss Mimi.

How is your Monday going Queenie???

.

I absolutely forget how incredibly crazy a school office is.

How did your children do at school this morning.

Happy first day.

Hi Queenie-

It was the first day for teachers today. Our students come back next week.

I'm actually glad to be back.

Ah, school...

As my wife and I walked through the woods during our vacation last week we discussed how this is the first year in many, (30 to be exact) that we have no one going off to school. Our baby (DS22) got his degree last May...

Now all he needs is a job and a place to live.

Right now he is a cellar dweller...

OH MY...mine just told me that he will definitely graduate in May..

WE DON'T HAVE A CELLAR...

I told him to start looking for a job....Yep..already..

Tonight, I go to a meeting at my daughter's school....about applying for college. Of course, going to that meeting means I will NOT get to go to parent's night at my son's new school - entering high school this year - and will not know squat about what they tell parents and will not get to meet his teachers.





I have 4 meetings tonight. I am NOT happy!

5 yr old cried yesterday and today when I dropped him off because he wanted me to stay . I asked if anything wrong happiend yesterday he told me no. So I told him he can do it. It will get easier.

2 yr old wanted to stay at the school when we dropped them off this morning. to cute!

11yr old came home with homework :MrEEk: and we spent 3 hrs on double digit multiplication. Hes used to doing it one way and me the old fashion way. When I showed him that his way wasnt working he threw a HUGE fit and took him 3 hrs. The joy of homework has returned lol.