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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 76
G
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 76
I have come to learn that when one spouse is spending most of the time at work or most of the leisure time on their hobbies with others, then, thats the perfect breeding ground for affairs to develop.
The late night meetings, the out of town seminars, the after church activities, the girl scout moms meetings etc.
There needs to be a balance and couples need to create time for each other each day. Time to talk and romance each other.DAILY. This is not the time to balance books or do laundry.
This is the time that should be used to reconnect. Affairs start when two people drift apart emotionally. Love deposist have to be made daily into the love bank or soon the bank is empty and you will find it very hard to make a withdrwal.
People also have to take responsibility for their actions. If i cheat its cause its a conscience decision to do so.

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
S
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Can I get an Amen?

God's Blessings,

Say


Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 76
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 76
My wife kept telling me to come help out in her activities.She kept telling me how people said she was beautiful.I did not hear this as a call from her to come be with her. She spent countless hrs at meetings for church n developed this closeness to this guy there. Thank God it was only a month and nothing more happened but i do look back and realise i can not afford to ignore her.I have made a conscience decion to praise her, to be involved in her life, to compliment her looks and make her feel desireable and to talk about her projects at church or else someone else will.I just thank God it did not get physical and me and her have reconnected so closely after we had a frank talk.
We often forget to mention that at times our spouses will have emotional affairs cause we are absent mentally.Its very hard to win them back when they connect with someone emotionally and then have sex.Remember, DEPOSIT LOVE NOTES INTO THE LOVE BANK DAILY. An apple a day keeps the doctor away

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,414
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Posts: 1,414
Well, it appears you've learned a little in your 24 hours here, but you seem to have conveniently forgot the most important advice you were given ...

YOUR WW IS LYING TO YOU!!!

We've ALL been there, and she just threw you a bone to get you off her trail, and you picked it up and ran away with it.

You need to stop LISTENING to your WW and start watching her ACTIONS. SNOOP ... SNOOP ... SNOOP!!!

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 895
Just read his thread. Another Amen to Myrev's post is in order. Please listen to the advice you are being given!!!! The wool is being pulled over your eyes, Gforce!

God's Blessings,

Say


Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 571
A
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 571
Congrats on learning what you have and what you have realized. Now onto what is at matter. Listen to MyRev and all those that are posting to you and take what we are saying to heart. If shes not in a PA then at the most you get to find out what shes really up too.

Start involving yourself with her activities and vice versa get her more involved with yours.


Married 1996
4 wonderful children 16, 13 *OC*, 10, 7
FWW 30's
FWH 30's
My dday 1-2007 he came clean to me

My story
New beginings
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 517
R
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 517
TOO MUCH TIME AT WORK + POOR PERSONAL ETHICS/BOUNDARIES ESTABLISHED = AFFAIRS

Otherwise, I would be long overdue to have a A myself.

Last edited by RMX; 08/26/08 06:59 PM. Reason: The dingo ate my shift key

FBH 34 me,FWW 34,
DS 14, OC-D 12 (given up for adoption), DS-8, DD-5
D-Day#1 10-12-1998
D-Day#2 2-10-2008
Recovered!

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