Wow. It took a few minutes to find the old thread.

DD20 and I leave for Minnesota tonight with my Mother’s ashes. Hopefully this will help give DD a little peace with things. She has been struggling badly about her Mother the past month or so. My Mother’s unexpected passing and Wayzilla’s adultery are unfortunately linked in time. Maybe this will help set them apart for DD.

So while I am scrambling around the house last night watering plants and yards, doing laundry and packing, who should call on my cell; Wayzilla. What a happy surprise. I did not answer and she left a message.

This is only the third time in over thirteen months that she has tried to make contact (four if you count the “ping” in June).

An email about not being to get a hold of DD two days before the Thanksgiving 1st anniversary of D-Day. No response.

An email wishing me a happy birthday in December. No response.

And now on the eve of DD and I returning to with Mom’s ashes to Minnesota, (a trip that Wayzilla and I made perhaps a dozen times during our marriage), she leaves a voice mail expressing her motherly concern that DD has been using too much of her savings in recent weeks and just wanted me to have a “heads up.” And of course it will receive NO response. It’s interesting timing on these contact attempts though.

I assume this was another check to see if I am out there and if I will talk to her. (Insert War’s Why Can’t We Be Friends?) This certainly would have been a simple email. It was hardly a crisis. Strange she gambled on a call instead. It was odd hearing her voice after more than a year. I could hardly recognize it.

The adultery is well over 2-years now so it is probably losing the chemical driven luster it once had. Reality is certainly setting in by now. Maybe she is starting to notice that Gollum’s head looks like it had been caught in some heavy machinery at some time and the surgeon who attempted repairs was drunk. Maybe Gollum is starting to get tired of hearing her suck on the inside of her lips when she’s in the car. Or…….maybe everything is fine in Mordor. It really does not matter.

Well, off to Minnesota, the state fair, Lake Superior, and of course, DD's favorite, The Mall of the Northern Hemisphere.



Oh, and I finally found out the details regarding my neighbor’s death. I won’t post it here. Stephen King would have been proud to write what happened in that house as terrific horror fiction. Unfortunatly it was real.

I was thinking of you last night, chris, and was going to dig up your post.

I wondered if something "happened" with WayZ. We all tend to get quiet when there is movement on the wayward front.

Well, except me, because I'm a blabber mouth.

I really feel for DD20. Waywards are STOOPID. I'm sure she would be thrilled to know that WayZ is looking in her accounts and tattling on her to you.

It could be much worse for DD20, though. Thank goodness she has such a great father. She should start calling you "The Rock", seems Duane Johnson doesnt' want that title anymore.

Have a nice trip to Minnesota. Although honoring the deceased can be heartwrenching, it can induce a flood of GOOD memories. Move further back then the time of her death.

Bring her back for a short while and include the good memories of WayZ, too. DD20's foundation is shaken. Let her know that it was not a farce. Her mother DID and DOES love her. It's a defect in WayZ that has brought her to where she is, not a defect in DD20.

You da man, chrisner. Not just any many, a GOOD man.

Take care.

Fox

Well, it IS probably a good idea to keep an eye on DD's savings while at the Mall of the Northern Hemisphere.

Ya'll have a good trip

Chrisner,

I must have missed something somewhere because I didn't know your mother unexpectedly passed.

My condolences.

DD20 will struggle with Wayzillas actions.

It took me years to get past my father's actions. Many years.

It really didn't get any better until the marriage to OW fell apart. Only time in my life I ever supported infidelity. Rooted my dad on to give her her own medicine.

I proceeded to kick his butt once that was over, however, and the 3 kids lectured him to stop being an idiot and be faithful if he was going to marry again.

But we get along well now and talk regularly. But that took about 5 years to happen.

DD20 remembers her mother, who was your W. She doesn't recognize or like or understand the stranger that has taken her place.

Sorry to hear about your neighbor.

Aloha, Amigo. I wish you safe passage on your journey, and hope that your DD gets SOME sort of closure from the ceremonies with grandmother's ashes; you as well.

Don't forget the rule; if you are gone longer than three days, you have to bring something back for everybody else to enjoy.

Not so strange... maybe she thought that you'd be more willing to talk to her in the wake of your mother's passing. Like, you're more emotionally vulnerable now and might just crack and take the call.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother.

I think Chris may have already left, so I'll clear up some possible confusion. Chris is just going to spread his Mother's ashes. She died a few years ago in the midst of Wayzilla's affair. I think D-day was shortly after.

Chris:

Just reading this:


Whoa! You need to post a little more, or a least of link. That is WAY to much of a tease.

LG

Prayers for your mother...

My fathers ashes rest on a shelf in my brothers basement. Nobody much cares what happens to them. Harsh. I know.

Choices.

LG

Chris,

Mall of the Northern Hemisphere? Take a ride on the rollercoaster for me! THAT's my favorite thing at the mall!

Seriously, I hope that this trip and the final destination for Mother's ashes brings peace and some closure to both you and DD20. A time to remember the wonderful things about the woman you loved and will never forget. Share some stories with each other about her & celebrate her life.

As for the WayZ - there's no doubt she knew this was the eve of your trip. Glad you didn't answer. She had a pretty lame excuse. Although, even a VM can be a bit of a trigger. Let sleeping (or even awakened) DOGS lie in that dept - I know you will.

Travel safe my friend,,,,,,,,,,,oh and definately give us a link or something about the neighbor!!

We’re home.

DD20 and I hiked about 3 miles to the high falls on the Baptism River on the North Shore of Lake Superior with my Mother’s ashes. We found a nice spot just above the falls and released the ashes into the river. We did not really talk but it was pretty emotional. All DD said was, “Well, she’s home now.”

My Mother collected little frog sculptures and DD and I both selected one to bring along. I found a little hole in the rocks above high water where we released the ashes and we put the frogs there to watch over the spot. They are pretty protected in the rocks so they may be there for a few years. And wouldn’t you know it, but the little eddying pool we released the ashes in was occupied by a real little Leopard Frog.

It was quite an experience to be there with DD. We have never been closer.

Did the fair, did the mall and visited with my favorite cousin and his wife. It was a very good trip. It was a little reflective heading home. With DD beginning her adult life we realized that we can never be sure when we will ever do the trip again. It was a trip we took with WxW every two or three years through DD’s life. I thought we always would. Now……well, who knows.

I talked to BC Friday night from the North Shore. He boarded up the house and went to Mississippi with his son to stay with his brother. He expected roof and fence damage. Houma sounds like it was hit hard. That's where BC's Momma is. I have not been able to get a hold of him yet. I will keep trying.

Hey Bugs Bomb. The rollercoaster was shut down. The park is no longer Camp Snoopy. It now has some tie to Nickelodeon and their strange characters. Camp SpongeBob? He ain’t no Snoopy. It is all painted in that nasty orange and green Nickelodeon pastel color now. Bleech. The pond and streams are gone. Lucy could punch the lights out of Dora the Explorer.

Hey LG. There is no link I am aware of. I will give you a few details and you can let your imagination wander.

His time of death was estimated at 2-weeks prior to discovery. This was about the last time I had seen him in his driveway. Denver was in the midst of the longest stretch of 90+ degree days in its history. A few of these days broke 100 and two made it to 104 degrees. The back sliding door to the house was open. Critters came and critters went. The remains were quite....ummmm....spread out. After discovery, animal control took away eight feral and vicious cats and all had to be destroyed. All the furniture, carpeting, curtains, cabinets and much of the drywall was impacted and gutted from the house. It’s going to be a tough sell.

Chris:

Sounds like you had a wonderful trip.

Why can't you go back with DD20?. Someday, SHE might have some grandkiddies for you to introduce to the UP.

About your neighbor....

That is really awful to hear. From your original post, it hinted that maybe there was some foul play involved. However, it was somewhat worse, I guess. I will let you delete the para if you want.

As for this:


Sounds like an appropriate treatment for unrepentant waywards....

LG

I just talked to BC. He is headed back home now. Neighbors told him things looked okay at his place. Houma is another matter. His Mom was with him in Mississippi but they can't return until Friday. She also heard that her home looks pretty good with just some minor damage. No word from Rin and how her house fared.



Wow, I never thought I would look forward to that but I think I am starting to. Thanks LG.

Happy to hear about your great trip. It sounds like one of those profoundly healing experiences--something both of you will have forever.

Sorry I missed you over the weekend, but I'll be back at some point.

Wow, I never thought I would look forward to that but I think I am starting to. Thanks LG. [/quote]

Aw heck Chrisner, grandbabies open up a whole nother world of possibilities and they are SUCH fun. The love of nature is a great legacy for granddaddy to pass on.

Whoa! Stop the train folks. I still need to get her through college and into a real world job first. Oh yeah, and that little marriage detail thingy. We got plenty of time.


Wayzilla left her a nasty voice mail right after she tried to get a hold of me last week. She demanded DD call her back so they could discuss her finances and budget IN PERSON! Just one more love buster. DD deleted it and never called her. They have not spoken, or have attempted to contact each other since. I suspect the two of them are about to enter a period of darkness. Wayzilla needs to pull her head out of her [censored] soon. None of this was in her great master plan. Sucks to be an adulteress.

Yipes!! Did she really expect a DEMAND to work?

Not my business and don't feel obligated to answer if you don't want to, but how come WayZ still has access to see DD20's accounts?

At some point DD20 has to be left to be a responsible adult on her own.

I was married and had two kids by the time I was 20. Totally not recommending that, but the parents have to let the kids sink or swim on their own eventually.

Easy for me to say.......

Fox

Originally it was for convenience as we both had decreed obligations to DD. We all bank at the same place so when she has needed money for books and tuition and other stuff we can just transfer it online into her accounts. Obviously We have access to hers but not each others. This actually has worked great for me and I don’t spy on DD’s accounts but is clearly a problem for Wayzilla. And although she did not mind the arrangement in the past DD is starting to resent it now for obvious reasons. The original plan was to remove ourselves from these accounts when she turned 21. That’s 4-1/2 months from now. Now….well I guess we will see.

So sad for DD20. What a waste. Hugs to her.

Ah, I see.

STOOPID waywards.

Lord only knows where the kids learn IRRESPONSIBILITY.

(not that DD20 is irresponsible, just saying if WayZ sees her that way it should come as no shock where she would get it from)

Fox

Wayzilla would have been a better partner for Scrooge than Marley was. She loves to count money.