I really value your opinion. And I did think that letting her know was the right thing to do, then when I tried I could never get a hold of her I called every 30 minutes after work for a few days.

To me that was God saying wait. That is all I am doing at this point. Calling OMW is on the list in my prayer journal.

I believe in waiting on God's timing that is all Im doing.

Sorry to get preachy but I dont know how else to explain it.

And I knew they were home. The freaking OM was online playing WoW and talking to my wife that very moment.

The OM PLAYS wow? What is he, 10 years old?

LOL if he was I think I wouldve killed myself by now. I play WoW Im 28. I introduced my wife to the game , THAT IS HOW SHE MET OM!!!!!!!!

I freaking want my money back.

Since you believe this then your wife should not have to tell you if she boinked the OM.

This is just proof how clueless you are about marriage.

I never said pedophilia is the same as adultery. I said they are both disgusting and clergy who stand by and do nothing to end it are disgusting. If men of the cloth give such advice, God help us all. So apparently the degree of the sin/crime is also up for consideration. We should tell rape victims...at least he didn't kill you.


or it was a sign that she just wasn't home.

Can you read everything before you post. I tried to call for three days at times I knew they were home.

Your W is still in touch with the OM?

Constructive..really.

How would it make a difference whether I knew this or not. Everyone keeps saying I am clueless without letting me know why.

No I was refering to the times I tried to expose. I knew I had the right number and I knew they were home.

Here's why.

Do you want to live and love a woman who can look you in the eye and lie?

Is that simple enough for you?

Red

your are still snooping aren't you? I know I am in the minority with my thoughts of exposing if the affair has died so I won't even go there, but, at the very least, you have to CONTINUE snooping to ensure the affair is actually dead. She has shown you that she would lie, therefore, you are under NO OBLIGATION TO TRUST HER, just yet. Keep snooping, man. Just make sure.

No but if it was an isolated event, and she changed and moved on they she is not lying to me about something.

I check phone records and bank account once a week, and email every day or so.

No but if it was an isolated event, and she changed and moved on they she is not lying to me about something. [/quote]

Yes, it is lying. You putting your fingers in your ears and singing "LALALALALALALA" won't change her lies.

Lying is lying Red. I guess you are willing to accept half a woman. Sad really.

You know you can acess the internet without being at home...strange as that may sound. You said you got an answering machine, but whatever.

I'm glad out of everything I have said that is what you have taken away from my comments. As you implied the OMW is probably some shrew who wasn't taking care of the hubby so it's her fault. I will take your remark as a sign from God that I'm wasting my time. Adios.

No but if it was an isolated event, and she changed and moved on they she is not lying to me about something. [/quote]

Yes, it is lying. You putting your fingers in your ears and singing "LALALALALALALA" won't change her lies.

Lying is lying Red. I guess you are willing to accept half a woman. Sad really. [/quote]

Is there a difference between isolated incidents and patterns??

Of course there is. Each situation has to be handled differently. In this situation was it better that I knew. Yes it helped me change.

But if my wife had a one night stand 5 years ago, how would knowing help me? How would he never telling me make her a liar?

Should you know about every isolated incident of your spouse's life? No. Should you know about patterns? Yes.

I know I know it goes against the policy of radical honesty. But I am not convinced its the right thing to do in every situation.

That was a tasteless comment on my part. I didnt really mean it, it was outta anger and fear as melody said.

I do feel sorry for OMW and their daughter that they dont have a good marriage.

When I feel like its time to call her I will try again.

If you aren't gonna call and expose, I think you should snoop with other methods. Keylogger, voice activated recorder. Again, against MOST others, I understand why you don't want to call omw, as long as the affair is over. (Wether I agree or not is not important, its YOUR life) BUT, you are gonna have to be MUCH more vigilant because NOW, you don't have OMW beating him over the head, actually in a way, becoming an ALLY in your fight. This leaves the danger of him trying to contact your wife again. Catch her withdrawing, weak and wanting her fix, and BAM. Its on now.

You have to up your snooping Red, if you find that youve been REBETRAYED, maybe then you will have a change in outlook.

You know you have to give God time to work on people's hearts. If I had done everything exactly when I wanted to and said everything to my wife that I wanted to I don't think my marriage would be taking the small steps that it is.

In a month I could be posting that my wife felt so convicted that we called OMW together.

I am not going to call atm because a bunch of people online are telling me to. I will wait til I know its the right thing to do.