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#2099468 07/28/08 11:08 AM
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Hi All!
I am a newbie to this site and was directed here by others in my situation from another site.

I am not going to go thru the a whole story again. I am actually tired of talking about it but struggle with the decisions that I have made because of it.

My H had an A w/ an XGirlfriend (someone that has wanted him all her life and has waited patiently) . They secretly kept in touch over the years and he would talk to her when he thought he could not talk to me during difficult times in our marriage. Well the calls led to them meeting which led to a brief affair in which he stated he ended because he realized it was wrong he loved me and his family. Well it did not end because she intentionally got pregnant. Well he hid this from me until I found out about it 1 1/2 later and OC was about 9mths old. I am truly disgusted about the whole situation and w/my H because I was pregant as well and the OC is 2 mths older than my son. Well after all the dust settled from the news ( major dust) we decided to work on our marriage and try to keep our family together but him knowing that I could not stay if ther was going to be continued C with OW and/or OC and that the OC couuld not be integrated into our family.He struggled with it at first but he did call the OW and told her that he would have No role or involvement in OC's life. Something OW offered him in the beginning and me when all this blew wide open. So we took her up on her offer. This was a call that I wanted to take place with me present but did not and H states he has done it but I just do know wether or not to believe him. I want to but I feel I should not until I get proof. He has been so deceitful I feel that I do not know this man anymore. So here is my dilemma?

How do I trust him again?

I worry if he will be able to keep his promise of NC w/ OC? H told that if there was C there would definitely be no me...divorce.

I struggle with my logical decision ( commitment to family, young boys, do not want to be a single mom, belief in a two parent household, financially secure , stay at home mom, not wanting to give up what I worked so hard to achieve in life because of someones elses stupidity) to stay but emotionally I am beating myself up in regards to my own moral values and principles and my own self respect and dignity. How do you cope with this? The humiliation etc...

and bottom line does this get better I just feel so numb to the whole situation right now.


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 Quote:
How do I trust him again?


He must earn your trust back.
There is no rush there - it's a matter of your H doing the right thing without complaining, consistently over time (years).

Before you trust H, you must trust yourself. Trust your instincts, trust your intelligence, trust your ability to LEAVE HIM if your H is not doing what he must do to earn his way back into the marriage. In fact, you must leave the door open for yourself to leave this M should your H become a louse once again.

This is vile:
 Quote:
This was a call that I wanted to take place with me present but did not and H states he has done it but I just do know wether or not to believe him.


... and I very much doubt you know what actually went on.
So do NOT believe him unless he can prove he is not lying.

Lying includes lies of omission. It's what adulterous spouses do - half truth/half lie. It keeps the betrayed spouse off balance. That's why you feel so crazy - you don't know what is real and what is false.

Here's what I suggest - you and your children need LEGAL PROTECTION - get control of the family finances - not one dime gets spent without you knowing about it. It will be harder for H to pull the wool over your eyes without secret money. Have H's pay go into a direct deposit that you and only you have access.

Each pay period, you take the most $cash$ you can and stash it in a bank safety deposit box - your "rainy day fund" - H does NOT know about the fund. In 5 years - if your M is fully recovered, use the "rainy day fund" for a nice holiday with H.

You pay the bills. You look over the phone records. You make unexpected & unannounced friendly visits at his place of work or anywhere else he says he's going to be - to bring him a snack of course - but also to see if he is doing what he says he is doing.

You can/should put a GPS on his car. If you don't know what this is, ask us. If you can't manage it yourself ask your brother or sister or some other trusted person to help you put it on his vehicle. We had one BW discover that the 4 years of his Friday nite poker games were actually his weekly meeting with OW --- this was AFTER he had "ended" the affair in a manner similar to how your husband "says" he ended his affair.

I flat out call your H a liar. I don't believe his story.
And neither should you.
But instead of nagging/whining/worrying/crying/begging/pleading/teaching your WH - get your PLAN together.

secure the money so he has no discretionary cash
pay attention to his schedule and "drop in"
and get a GPS on his car

these are ACTIONS that will empower you - and you'll feel less helpless and lost.

In the meantime - behave as a loving doe-eyed wife - give your H no reason to think you are watching his every move.

And do not forget - you need to go to marriage recovery counseling together.

If you discover he's still seeing OW or OC - let us know. We can offer you support and suggestions.

Welcome

ASK questions

(((( hugs ))))

Pep



Last edited by Pepperband; 07/29/08 09:08 PM.
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I’m so sorry for your terrible situation shocker1.

Your husband will tell you that he has put OW behind him and he is probably sincere about it. But looking back at the history. I really don’t think you can trust him again. He has shown so many years of sneakiness. He knew what he was doing all along was wrong and he had opportunities to stop it and he didn’t.

That said, I really want to comment on OC. I think it’s terrible to cut off the connection to the child! And of course he cannot have a relationship with the child and not have one with the OW. The child should know his/her father! I know it’s painful for you and maybe you can’t or shouldn’t handle it but IMO it’s wrong! Very wrong! Children have to be cared for first.

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Here is a link to Dr Harley's opinion on this subject - since this is a MARRIAGE BUILDERS site - and that is the goal of people who come here seeking help:


link to Dr Harley's opinion

If you wanted assistance with how to keep an affair going I'm sure there are other sites for that purpose - and other opinions that do not understand that contact with the OP is a potential THREAT to the marriage

Pep

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Do not imagine, or be persuaded, that your children's welfare or the welfare of your marriage should be "nobly" sacrificed for the sake of OC.

Do not be persuaded that choosing your family's welfare, above others, is ignoble.


 Quote:
My advice is to avoid contact with the child until he or she reaches
adulthood.


Do not forget that children who are adopted, who do not meet and relate to their birth parent(s) until adulthood - do just fine.

If OC waits until age 18 to meet his/her father - it is preferable to making a complete mess of all these children's lives while they are little - and risking the stability of your marriage.

Your job, and your responsibility as a parent, is to make your children's lives stable and provide a safe environment for them to grow - and by excluding OC and OW from their young lives (until they are older) is doing your children a favor.

Children need stability. Your children first of all - need the stability you and your husband can provide with as little chaos and drama as possible. There will always be some drama & chaos in everyone's life - but it is unwise and uncaring for your own children to invite more, unnecessary, drama & chaos into their lives.

If you chose to have contact with OC - that is fine as well - but never allow anyone to tell you there is something wrong with you for wanting to protect your children AND yourself from the drama/chaos/instability that contact with OW will probably provoke.

Respect your decision. It has merit.

Pep



Last edited by Pepperband; 07/31/08 09:05 AM.
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 Quote:
That said, I really want to comment on OC. I think it’s terrible to cut off the connection to the child! And of course he cannot have a relationship with the child and not have one with the OW. The child should know his/her father! I know it’s painful for you and maybe you can’t or shouldn’t handle it but IMO it’s wrong! Very wrong! Children have to be cared for first.
Excuse me dumped at 40 but are you for real? IF IF IF they (h/w) choose contact if can very well be without ever talking to the xOW again. It CAN be done and HAS been done by some. However, it is not terrible to be NC with the OC. Yes, the OC is innocent but so is the BS and any COM. They have a right to not have the OW's craziness in their lives. His only true obligation is financial support.

Are you an ex OW by any chance? What is your story?


Faith

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shocked1, this is exactly why I suggested you come to MB. People like Pepperband have so much to offer. She really helped pull me out of the depths of my despair. Please read over on the General questions board and really familiarize yourself with the sites concepts.

Ignore the type of posts our situations always bring on like dumped at 40.


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I understand this is a marriage builders sight and maybe I am still too bitter with the failing of my own marriage to see the wisdom of marriage first, always. I am sorry for that and I will try to be more objective when I form and write my opinions.

As for my story, no Faithful Flower, I have not been an OW. I never even thought about infidelity for myself or my husband for the 15 years I was married. I am a mother and I was a housewife. I work part time at the school library while the children are at school. My husband simply came home one day and told me that he was leaving me because he found real love with another woman. The OW worked at the grocery store close to our home.

I guess what I am trying to say about your situation is that I see the outcome of this in one of two ways. Your husband with two X’s and two children, or with one X (OW) and an amazingly understanding and loving wife and two children. My point about your husband maintaining a relationship with OW was simply recognizing that he cannot have a relationship with a child and not have any contact with the child’s mother. When I say relationship I mean contact. Of course the two of you can work together to minimize the contact. For example if you are with your husband when he picks up or drops off the child, attends school events, etc., it may be quite workable, but you need to be a very strong person for that.

Of course shocked1, I cannot properly judge my own clarity of the situation. So if the consensus is that my judgment is out of line, then as Faithful Flower says, ignore my comments.

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Thanks for the responses...I was starting to think that no one was going to respond...I have read most of them and I am currently thinking some of the responses over before I respond to them but I have noticedthat there has been on going conversation about the C and OC...so I am going to put that to an end.

My choice:

There will be NC w/ OC because C w/ OC leads to C w/OW. Plus I feel that my COM and I are just as much victims in this just as the OC is but she is not my problem. The OC is the OW's problem and she needs to deal with how she is going to deal with OC now and the future. OW intentionally got pregnant trying to trap and keep my H. He recognizes that and also recognizes that I do not have to live with his indiscretion day in and day out. H was told that I was not afraid to leave but if we decide to work on our M that there will be NC w/OC until I was ready if that day ever came. Meaning I could be 70 years old and if I choose not to lay eyes on this child I do not have to. We also agreed that our boys will have to be told one day but we choose to tell them when they are considered adults and can make their own decisions and express themselves in a inappropriate way to address the situation, their father and the choices they will make. Also know that H was allowed to make a choice. He can have C w/ OC but we would divorce and go our separate ways. Well he chose to stay and we are currently discussing H giving up his parental rights and thinkinf of it as an adoption.

So believe I know that OC is innocent but so am I and the OW should of thought thoroughly about her decision to bring a child into the world and under what circumstances the child would be living in. I am a responsible person and both of my children were planned to be here and I would not have brought them here if I knew this was going on. It is unfair to subject them to this kind of cruelty. So my job now is to take care of me and mine and that is it. I am only responsible to them and that is what matters . The OW and the OC cannot matter to me . We did not matter to the OW or H when they decided to what they did and subject us tothis BS. We did not matter so they cannot matter.

I hope that helps you gain some insight on my feelings regarding this topic and will put it to an end because my decision is final on NC w/ OC. This is one area in all this mess that I do have some clarity on. I will not budge or waiver and if not adhered to by H I will be on my way.


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Wise choice to put yourself, COM, and marriage ahead of the OW, OC.

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Hi Shocked. I'm happy you've found your way here.

I'm happy that you can be strong in your resolve about NC with OW/OC. I agree, that it is in the best interest of you, your COM & your M. These women will continue to undermine your marriage until you have nothing left.

Making this decision can sometimes be a difficult hurdle once we've found out our world isn't what we thought it was. Fear easily sets in and some are afraid to stand up for themselves and what they truly want for fear the wayward husband will leave if you stand your ground and demand respect. Trust when I tell ya, if he isn't fully committed to your M FIRST, he'll be gone anyway because if he continues to live making OW happy & any sort of priority, your marriage won't survive that behavior & mindset.

I'm proud to see your empowerment. It will serve you well, regardless of which way things end up. NC has done WONDERS for our M. And you're RIGHT. OC is the OW's problem & responsibility. She made the decision to bring her child into this world with these circumstances, then she should be the one explaining it & living with the aftermath of HER choices. It just FLOORS me that once they make all these important decisions (including sleeping with our H's), that they expect everyone they've involved in the aftermath and destruction, to just fall in line and make THEIR child first priority. Even after the well being of you & your children were disregarded. Simply amazing...and SELFISH. They never THINK that once THEY set the balls a rollin', that the 'victims' just might not think this is such a wonderful thing huh?

Keep posting and learning the Harley's principles.

4ever


4eva

BW-47
WH-46
Married 21 yrs.
D-19
S-15
OC-14/born 9/99
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Dday #1 10/30/04
Dday #2 7/2/12 Skank ho #2 (40ish, childless, single & desperate; the world is becoming over-run with them...just like cheaters)
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I just came to this site last night. My situation is very similar to yours. I just found out four days ago that my husband cheated on me a year and a half ago and there is a ten month old baby with the OW. I have no idea what to do. We were getting ready to celebrate our five year anniversary in a month and we have two children, one and three. My youngest is only two and a half months older than the OC. I am so angry for so many reasons. He lied to me for a year and a half and now he just received a court order to pay child support to this OC and OW. We can't afford it. I am a stay at home mom as well and can't fathom putting my children in daycare and having to go to not seeing them 24/7. My oldest child has some special needs as well that require more money. I am so sick of people saying the right thing to do is to have contact with the OC. I get the fact that she is the innocent victim, but I'm looking out for my own children and not her. She's not my child and I want no contact with her mother especially. I don't have any answers for you, but I read your post and was surprised at how similar our stories are. I haven't told very many people of our situation especially if I decide to stay, so it has been nice to be on here. My H says he is so sorry and will do anything for us to stay together. I don't know what to do. How do I take my kids from their father?

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Sorry it has taken me so long to respond...of course as you know when dealing with a situation such as our life can get a little hectic trying to deal with everything...

I am sorry that you are in this situation I am still struggling with my decision to stay. I still cry at least once a day but I am also getting stronger as the days go by. Do not get me wrong..do I love my husband? Yes...if I did not this would not hurt so much...Will I survive this Yes...Will it be the same love I had for him? No hello no! It will be will be different but together or not there will be something there for him that I feel being that he is the man that I did marry and is the father of my two beautiful children.

My advice to you is just try to maintain some space from your H right now...I actually kicked mine out for 2mths and he is now in our home but sleeps in the basement and is only here because my 3yr old missed him terribly and his needs were more important than mine.

Time will also help you gain some clarity. You do not want to make any rash decisions based on emotions right now. When I found out about my situation I immediately went to my parents, his parents and an attorney. They all said the same thing ...we would like to see you work it out for the kids sake but if it doesn't we understand but take a step back to get over the emotions so you can make some clear and rational decisions about your future. My attorney said to me...know your power and if you do not know your power ... discover it and you use it to your advantage.

At first I did not understand this ...but now I do ...and I am glad that I did. Do not get me wrong I am still struggling but I am in a much better place than I was 4mths ago and I am discovering my power and feel that since he took away so many choices in my life and forced his choices and consequences on me ... He has the sole responsibility to fix it which he can never completely do but he can live life trying until the day he dies. Now my situation may different than yours but I do know one thing I worked hard to get where I am in life and I also do not want to give up what I have earned and become (financially and socially) due to his stupidity. If I leave it changes the lifestyle for everyone involved including my children and that is not fair to me or my children. So for that he must pay.

I have made my demands of him some verbal and some silent in order to regain my power...

1. I will not work ever again unless I want to and none of my $$$ will go to support this OC
2. My boys and I will not want for anything...we will be treated as the queen and princes we are.
3. I will pay all the bills and monitor all the financial activity.
4.He will put our estate planning in place so that if something happens to him the boys and I will be taken care of and all survivor benefits will be designated to go to the boys and I not the OC.
5. AS for the OC...will not be integrated into our life...I do not care if she is 30yrs old..
6. All monies are cut off unless we are forced to pay CS...and that has to be initiated by the OW in which she will have to prove paternity as well.
7. He had to have a discussion with the OW that he will have no role or involvement in this childs life, which also means no contact in any way shape or form..(pictures, calls emails etc...)
8. He is to act and we are to act as if the OW and the OC does not matter in our life. He is not to acknowledge this child existence (ie. if someone asks how many children he has...he sayst two)
9 Our children are not to be told until they are of an age ( hopefully and adult and out of my house) that they will have the ability to deal with the emotional stress of this because there will be some and I want them to have as much as normal childhood as possible.
10 If contact is made by OW or OC ..he is to make me aware of it and he is not to respond to it unless discussed with me to see if it is warranted and if it is we are to address together using the words ..our decision , we decided and state my name as much as possible.
11.If OC contacts to meet he needs my approval first and if I do not think it is a good idea he is not to entertain the OC's wants or needs.


Those were some of my and there were more but I think you get the idea...and oh yeah I contacted the OW to verify my H's conversation with her and to share some info about H and conversations that we have had about her and the OC to seal the deal to make sure she will never come after him again...plus to test if she would call him and if he would respond or not. It is amazing that a lot of time in dealing with these affairs that the H's have secrets on both sides and I felt I needed to expose him completely and lets just say I know that the OW is not happy and probably wants to get as far away from him as possible.

I will say this..he was pissed and stated he wanted a divorce. He also told me the OW called left a voicemail and told me what she said ...and he did not return the call. It is funny that when you take a little of their control away and invade their privacy or cross their boundaries how they react. I told him to leave and file for divorce but guess what he is still in my basement.

MY H desparetly wants to save our marriage as well but I just do not trust him and I know that I never will trust him the same way ever again. We are currently in counseling individually and looking for a marital counselor now. The hope is to rebuild for our kids sake and if we cannot at least we will grow from this awful experience and go our separate ways and can at least be friends for our kids sake...because realistically we are going to be a part of each others lives for the rest of lives regardless if we are together or not because of the kids. Due to this rational...I figure I might as well stay at least I can have some control of the situation in regards to our financial future and how this OC will be dealt with.

About my H...Do I think he will do this again? My answer is NO...but will I let him know that I think this ..He has single handedly destroyed everything that he has always strived to be. He has compromised his integrity, reputation, his fatherly image and my beliefs in him. He risked his and our stability, security and finacial future together. He has also highly embarrassed and is very uncomfortable knowing that our immediate family members know of this situation how upset and disappointed they are in him.

It is pretty sobering for him discovering that this effects more than just me and how it destroys more than just our relationship.

I am not sure that I answered your questions but I hope it helps you get an idea of what you can do to regain some control and power.

Lets stay in touch ..since our situations are so similar I would love to keep each other posted.


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OC- NC
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THANK YOU for posting this list

especially

6. All monies are cut off unless we are forced to pay CS...and that has to be initiated by the OW in which she will have to prove paternity as well.

I personally know one family where the WH was NOT willing to follow this wisdom .... and his foolishness has delayed and possibly ruined real recovery


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Thanks pepperband for being with me on this one...

H had self administered paternity test done on OC and came back his ( I do not even know if the OW knows he did it..knowing him the OW does not ) but I am sure ( at least I am hoping) that if she does file for CS the courts will make her confirm paternity first...I know I will be requesting it.

he paid her some money ( way to much) ...more so bribe money on his part to keep her quiet and blackmail money on her part...well when I found out I stopped it all. OW gets nothing and will not get anything else unless CS is filed. Come to find out she makes enought money to care of OC by herself (150,000 a yr) So I hope that keeps her away.

Now I am just dealing with H feeling horribly guilty about his decison to abandon this child and him wanting to set up an anonymous trust for the child to get when she is 18...not happy with this but I am working on this one as well ...any suggestions? if it has to happen I would like to push it to 21 ...I do not want her to come looking to early ...

I have spoken with this stupid OW...she told me she intentionally got pregnant ( I knew this already) and she accepts full responsibility for her role in this mess but yet feels as if she has not done anything wrong and does not have to apologize for her disrespectful actions toward me or my COM. My H is so stupid ..all men are stupid that underestimate the power of a woman that is in their child bearing years and wants a baby and a certain man at the same time. It is called trying to trap you...and H admits that he is to blame for putting himself in this position but there is no doubt in his mind that OW was trying to get him to stay with her by getting pregnant. She actually told him she was trying to get pregnant but like most men being stupid and thinking with the wrong thing...he did not think it could happen because it was so infrequent...sounds like some teenager crap doesn't it....did you miss sex education class growing up...and then was disappointed with her when she would not ...as he put it..." have you considered your options?" ...meaning Abort B----! ...and of course she would not ..she was happy and wanted to keep the baby...and was upset when he was not around for the pregnacy or the birth...hello you are not the wife...

Oh yeah stupid OW states she is treating this as donor baby...and she was given to her from a donor family...what a load of crap...luckily my H is not on the birth certificate...OW is just setting herself and the OC up for some crazy stuff. I already told her and my H that if the OC comes around here she is going to get the truth about how she got here and what her presence and existence means (affair, used to try to trap, betrayal, deceit, pain, etc..)so if they do not want her to know the truth she needs to stay away.

OW does not realize it but she will pay for this eventually...she will either get married and her H will do this to her or the OC will grow being rebellious etc... something but I know it is coming one day. God does not like ugly and what goes around does come around.

and furthermore... women in general need to learn that if a man comes to you under deceitful means that is how is going to leave you as well... and mine did just that.... he came to OW and left OW....women need to learn that you cannot keep a man that does not want to be kept.

okay sorry went on a rant...I guess this still upsets me ...how people can be so careless and irresponsible.


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Update...

Even though I am still struggling with my decision...I am trying to put my best foot forward understanding the complexity of this issue. This website and forum have been a blessing for me and I have shared lots of info from here with my H to provide some clarity for him as well as inform him about the path that he should take in regards to our recovery if we can recover.

Interesting enough my H and I had an emotional discussion about how our situation which turned into yet another arguement. I forget how or why but something triggered a thought in mind that instantly made me upset and brought me to tears and asking him why? why? why? How he could let the OW attack me and our children the way that she has?

An attack in which that I know he does not get because he is spending so much time blaming himself and trying to carry the burden on his shoulders for his and her actions. I found this disturbing and I quickly found myself being defensive because he unknowingly defends her actions and behaviors instead of condemning them or holding her responsible.

Well this is unacceptable to me because as he put it ...she felt that she did not know me, it was not her job to do what was best for me and my family and that he was ultimately responsible.

This is where I struggle with him. Yes he is ultimately responsible for this mess but I think he needs to understand the need to separate the two. It takes two to do what you did. If I am wrong please someone tell me and provide your reasoning ...it would help me a great deal.

Anyway I had a pretty calm talk with H the next day about how I feel he defends her actions. As long as I know that he is doing that and not holding her accountable or at least knowing that she holds some responsibility here we will never be able to move forward because he will feel some guilt obligation to her due to the situation.

I gave him some time to think about it and low and behold guess what? He opened up to me and said I was right but he has a hard time separating the two because he believes that if he just would not of done what he did he would not be in this position. I told him true... but you also made an individual choice along with some seduction and manipulation added to the mix to go forth with the A. Also recognize that she made a very selfish choice to be seductive and manipulative to have an A with a married man. You (H ) need to recognize this and start separating the two. You are both responsible and both she be ultimatley blamed for the destruction caused but you still are two individuals that made individual choices in this matter and you need to treat it as such. As long as you carry the burden for the both of your decisions you allow her to continue to blame you and not take responsibility for her actions in this matter and continue to let yourself to be manipulated (OC) by the OW's cruel intentions and will continue to let her affect our lives.

Yes you ( H) should be mad at yourself for your decisions but you should not carry the weight of her decisions as well. She made the conscious decision to knowingly talk and solicite a married man, she knowingly chose to get involved with a married man that had children at home, she made the choice to intentionally get pregnant, she chose to play a role in manipulating and seducing you.

You are not responsible for that ...that is hers to own ...and she is blaming you for her short sightedness and selfishness because you allow her to. She is the blame for that not you. She had options and she consciously chose the most damaging to try to win her prize and knew that she could not get it unless by forcing you along. She manipulated you and she is using the OC to continue to manipulate you and you refuse to see it.

Well ...he admitted that he does feel used, betrayed by the OW , manipulated and recognizes how he was lied to and left with false impressions by the OW and is starting to understand how she did what she did, tried to do what she did and is continuing to try to manipulate him and his life.

I asked him to take a step back for a moment and forget about me in this mess, because I am an adult and still have choices to stay or leave , yell and scream, cry , and condemn their actions. You need to think about the relationship with your children that she put on the chopping block having the OC. If she truly loved you and cared for you and wanted to do what was in your best interest ...she would have known that the one thing in life you love more than yourself is your son and she never would have tried to strain that relationship or compromise your moral integrity because of the image that you are suppose to represent for your childre. Your children do not have voice and can not escape you or the OC. Surprisingly enough he paused and remained silent. It will take some time for him to see the depth of the betrayal on OW's part but he has started to.

I think it is a start in the right direction.What do you think? Is there anything else out there on the site that may help H to understand this better? If so please send.

For us to move on he needs to understand and I need him to be able to get to a place that does not relieve of him of his responsibility in this A but relieves him of her choices in the A . He is the only one that can really hold her accountable for that so he can be released from some of the guilt associated with OC...because no doubt about it she intentionally brought the child here to try to trap him and get him to leave me, as well as setting up a situation in which it would make it terribly difficult for me to stay and work it out.

As a woman and all women would agree ..that the more you can do to tarnish the H or boyfriends image and cause harm to the unsuspecting W or girlfriend the better your (as the OW) chances are to claim your prize in the end because the wife or girlfriend will more than likely leave.

I told my husband the following about OW's thinking:

I got you now and I am not letting go without a fight. ( Any means necessary)

If you choose me great ( the desired end result)

If you do not choose me I will make you pay.( Revenge )

and cause you to have regrets for the rest of your life. (angst about the moral obligation to the OC, destruction of your Marriage and the relationships in your family.)


I told him that she has always wanted him and has waited patiently for him and got tired and forced the issue and she felt you owed her something.

The ultimate set-up!

Any thoughts?

Last edited by shocked1; 08/30/08 08:58 AM.

BS
WH-(to old to know better)
COM- 2 DS (toddlers)
DDay- 4/28/08
OC- NC

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