Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#2120401 09/03/08 02:27 PM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 33
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 33
WH needs help understanding why I feel the way that I do? He has not fully been able to come to terms with the amount of pain and hurt ,the patience required and the time needed to heal that is associated with being the betrayed spouse and having to deal with the A and an OC. It has been 4 1/2 mths and I am wreck . H tries to be supportive but it is in ways that he thinks should be done or what he thinks I should be doing? Pure selfishness on his part that comes across as a lack of empathy or compassion to the severity of this problem. Selfishness is what got him in this mess in the first place.

I have encouraged him to gain some insight in regards to how a BS feels, try to put himself in my shoes and figure out what he can do to help and what he should not do to help. I was also hoping that the MB community could help me point him in the right direction for him to gain this insight.

If he does not find a way to deal with me better my wall will never come tumbling down and my already one foot out the door will turn quickly to turn into two. I already know that I would not be here if I did not have COM (toddlers) and due to my COM and the life we have built together I have been willing to try to reconciale because I know that there is more at stake than just myself but will leave if my needs are not met. I will not travel down this road again.

Any suggestions/recommendations are welcomed. ( Articles, emails, books, tapes, etc...)



BS
WH-(to old to know better)
COM- 2 DS (toddlers)
DDay- 4/28/08
OC- NC
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Do you have the book "After The Affair" by Janis Abrams Spring? That book does an excellent job of explaining both sides of infidelity.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
Spend the $200 and book a session with the Harleys over the phone so that they can talk to your (ex?)WH. They're supposed to be really good at just what you're asking.

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Counseling with the Harley's would be ideal. Great advice. Here is the link to the notable posts thread. There is a lot of great information in it. notable posts


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,071 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5