My WH and I have been separated 1 1/2 years following his 2nd affair. I have done all I know to do in dealing with my own heart and repenting to him and God where I have not met his needs. I have done my best to treat him with respect, love and kindness.

The first year of our separation, we spent lots of time together going to dinner, movies, golfing...but never talking about us. When I finally asked him after about a year, he said I have not changed.

My bottom line is this. I can't make him love me or choose me. I can't make him own his life or his behaviors. He see's what I am not and I can't change that.

6 months ago I told him that I loved him...that I am 'in' our marriage..that I will do whatever is necessary to work towards an 'us'. I would go to counseling..read books..talk with other couples..whatever, but I didnt want to continue as we were...a picture of a relationship without authenticity.

2 weeks later he said he wanted a divorce. He has not yet filed. We rarely speak anymore. We are very kind to eachother when we do. He still calls me hon which rips at my heart.

I am going to school in an effort to prepare myself financially. (we have been married almost 29 years). I am trying to move forward without moving on yet. Any words of wisdom?

How many women is he dating?