LMAO...I didn't think that was a TJ...just relating your stuff to mine...

Always appreciated...

Well, I was waiting on the contact from POWS about this storm and I got it this morning bright and early...

POWS: "What are you and the boys doing for the storm?

ME: "IDK yet"

POWS: "XFIL called last nite, he is coming to get RF and said he can get the boys if need be"

ME: "No, he may not!"

POWS: "Well, its an opp and why not"

Me: "It's my weekend and they are w/me, i will care 4 them during this time like i do everyday"

POWS: "I hope that you don't plan on keeping them here if it's coming this way"

POWS: "whatever Rin, he's just lookin out for his grandkids (I got mad here and called a friend to help me with the responses b/c it was back to back and I didn't want to

POWS: I don't care who's time it is I want to know if my kids are going to be in a safe place for the storm"

Me: "They will be, end of decision"

POWS: "I want to know where and when it comes to the kids you don't tell me end of anything. They are my kids too"

POWS: I don't know why you make a fight out of everything. But I want to know where my kids are going to be. If plan on staying here i will take them with me. you can be pissed with me I don't care but don't my kids in harm way by being mad with me and my fam. I would never do that to them"

ME: "like i would do that, when i figure it out i will let u know"

POWS: "Thank you. That's all I was asking. Just trying to help not trying to say you can't handle it or anything like that just letting you know there were other opps."

ME: "I said Idk yet but u know I'm considering all opps"

POWS: "OK, it's cool. Like I said it was not meant to piss you off"

Me: "It didn't, have a good day!"


I DID get very mad and started shaking...we have a history of fights with storms...

So, we were all very LATE this morning...and I was still upset when I got to work, good thing there's only five of us to close everything up...So, I called my lawyer and the para said she didn't know but would ask...she has custody of her kids and has no intentions of leaving...said that she would call back with info as soon as she could...I hadn't called in a while, so I asked about the community property b/f going into POWS being an [censored]...my lawyer happens to be going to court for something with POWS's lawyer and she sadi that she would have them speak on it this morning...

At least I think that he was as a result of past behavior...intimidation and has used the kids to try to make me feel guilty...

As far as the IL's...I feel that they are once again overstepping their boundaries...perhaps, I could have said no, that's okay, thanks...and we would not have gotten into it like that...even expecting it to happen I was still caught off guard with that one...I got up at 4 and couldn't go back to sleep, checking on the weather, washing clothes, cooking breakfast...

With POWS's contact...the shirt for YS didn't get dried in time, they both missed the bus...the other clothes are still wet in the washer...I had to drive both to school...fill out a form at YS b/c someone in the class has/had chicken poxs...gets myself ready for work in the process while talking to the friend to try to calm down...

B/c you know I'm thinkin the worse...him coming and trying to take them from me...and of course, it's the 5th weekend go I have papers to prove that...of course, the worst, fear popping in...

Thing is IF it was his weekend and this was going on, I would trust him to him the right decision and wouldn't even question what or where he was going...I know it's what I would do and not him...

I didn't need this right now...my brother is flighting in this morning and will be helping me out...we are all just killing time here this morning...MOF, my coworkers after hearing what happened was more than willing to send me home, but I need to be here rite now...I will calm down, MOF, doing better now than I was and calling the lawyer was a huge part in that...

Eh... guess this is what Graycloud calls the snake feeding sessions..


Personally my response would have been something to the tune of:


The boys will be fine with me. Thanks.


Him: Where are you going blah blah blah


None of your business, boys will be fine with their mother.


Him: BLAH BLAH BLAH.. RANT RANT.. BLAH BLAH


*crickets*

God I wish I could do that...the legal stuff is what worries me...we have joint custody with me as Dom...

So...then I don't HAVE to let him know what I'm doing...I "know" that there will be more contact...so I should just ignore it and do my thing for this...

CRAP...i was just telling my friend the other day that his bark is bigger than his bite and here I am falling back into the fear and all of that stuff all over again...

RGHHHHHH!!!I have got to stop falling into this trap...nothing has happened, he has caused a big mess in the past and I still got the boys and the house and all of the other stuff...just like he said that I wouldn't...I ran on fear of what he said to me for so long...I have got to stop doing this...

That's giving my power away...allowing him to control me...now I'm really frustrated with myself...

Bah.. no need to be frustrated with yourself Rin.

Just take the power back.. nobody has any power over us that we do not give them.

Rin... you're a strong woman, raising strong boys into men. Sure it's as daunting a task as the weather on the horizon, but you CAN and ARE doing a great job of this.

Look.. if he was so concerned, he had the choice to be with his FAMILY.. he chose otherwise.. he doesn't get to play hero when he wants to appease his guilt anymore.

These are the consequences of his actions.. he can live with them.

I'll tell you that PROBABLY what is going on is the feeling of helplessness that should anything happen to you or the boys that he will always be remembered as not BEING THERE.. I had the same fear a few times during tornado season this year.

It made me want to call WW... so I did.. but instead of talking to her I talked to the kids.. got them settled and under control when she was panicking in the background.. I was their rock and wasn't even there... POWS doesn't understand this, and is having trouble coping with his choices.. and is going to poke at you because you're the one who can make him feel better... and if you don't he can walk away muttering 'What a b1tch..' and self justify a little more.

Crickets darlin.. for your sanity. You got bigger stuff to worry about right now than what POWS thinks or is concerned about.. it's not your bother anymore.

He knows you're going to take care of the boys.. don worry 'bout it.

But if you do evac.. bring me some -real- shrimp etouffe and I'll let you crash as long as you want.

LMAO...where are you? The places I have to stay at, like my dad's are on the other side of BC's and in the line...I'm not going to go that way!

A friend told me to come to her house, plenty of room, BUT it's in savanna...I'm not driving to savanna with two kids and a dog I really don't like...for well over ten hours...

LMAO...I don't have that but I do have red beans and rice already cooked with sausage and tasso in it...Bon daux! i probably spelled that wrong but it mean Good GOD!!!

So I really don't "OWE" him anything...I don't have to tell him a darn thing...this is not part of the coparenting thing...thinking to myself really...trying to get it stright in my head...

Rin:

No disrespect to James here, but POWS CAN ask what is going on.

Sure, YOU CAN Handle it, but if the rolls were reversed and POWS had the boys, wouldn't YOU want to KNOW what he was going to do?

YES. And you would ask. You would offer.

Just like he did.

(Mimi, I'm not protecting POWS here at all.... )

TM's and emails dashed off in this case create much of the tension, up front. Because your trigger, and they do not convey ALL the INFo.

Otherwise, I think you sound great. Glad you decided to drop by some!

Just remember to always LOL!

LG

Nah.. I'm stuck up in the cornfields of Indiana, so a tad farther drive than GA I'd imagine.

But hey.. at least the Saints will be practicing up here for the week in our brand new stadium. It'd be jus like home


Mmm, red beans and rice... see, I have a cajun weakness as it's one of the few ethnic foods I've yet to be able to master.. which is odd considering how easy it's supposed to be..

Nope.. can do Thai.. Phillipino.. Italian.. Northern Italian (there IS a difference).. Greek.. and even some Indian food.. but nope.. no cajun.. I just don't have the Creole in me. But I sure do love to eat it. Fortunately for me I have a friend who used to be a four star chef down in Nawlins who opened up a 'lunch stop' type place called Yats that serves some FINE FINE FINE nummers.





You got it girlie.. all he needs to know is that you and the boys are safe and getting out of danger.. otherwise he can stew in it.. IMO at least.

None inferred LG...

My point however is that she doesn't have to let this get her all riled up.

Yup, he has a right to know that the boys are safe and out of the way of the storm..

What he no longer has a right to do is dictate what she does, or demand that she reports to him her every move.

Rin,

Yep, you let him push the button of "Rin isn't good enough" and instead of ignoring it you did give him the power to get you all worked up.

You COULD have taken his inquiry differently, but you took it based on your own bias.

Think about it = You could have thought, "Nice that he is concerned and making sure we are ok." Instead of immediately ASSUMING he was questioning your judgement when it comes to the safety of the boys.

Do you know how I am familiar with how this happens? Because I've done it myself too many times with Drac.

Remember the wonderful world that includes things like The Less Said to a WS the better? Next interaction do that. Less is more. A simple, "No set plan yet. Will be out of harm's way".

Done.

Over.

Rin is back to taking care of what's important in Rin's life.

I know you know all of this. Hope it helped to vent it out. I do understand the total frustration with his replies. I just wanted to remind you that YOU have the power to properly control these interactions IF you keep control of yourself first.

Now, I have some screwdrivers here that I need to put away,,,,,,,,,,,,

Bugs:


You naughty girl, YOU!



LG

well, with the last update putting the storm eye 17 miles from my house, I decided to go to my dad's...

So, I tmed him "Going to dad's"

He replied "Okay, Thanks!

My dad's place is in the direction that the storm will be going but by the time that it gets there according to the track it will be a tropical storm and not a Cat. 3, plus we'll be on the good side...

My brother and I just took a break, I have four window left to board up, almost everything else is picked up, we were even able to flip the trampoline and chain it down...I have a huge container freezing with water so that should be done....


I stopped writing and started done something, forgot I didn't finish my post, but we'll be done soon enough!

I'll post more later
Love ya...

thank James, don't want to drive there...door's always welcome to my fellow MBers!

HI all, it's not looking good for me and BC...I know it's still a ways away but it's upgrading and the track it going to be 26 miles from my house and I will be on the bad side...

I'm at my dad's right now and will be heading to my mom's, south of San Antonino tomorrow with the boy's...because it will still be a hurricane when it passes here with the increased intensity...we were going to ride it out here if it was going to just be a tropical storm...

I talked to BC yesterday while passing through his city...gas is hard to find everywhere...and heeding his advice, both my brother and I topped off our tanks before getting here...you should see the lines at the gas station waiting for gas trucks to arrive...looks like I'm going to have to leave here tonight becasue of contraflow...

okay, more when I can..
Rin

Thanks for the update.. you take good care of yourself and those boys Rin.. my prayers are with you.

Going to be a rough week for all concerned.. got some bad news today about my guitar player's DSS.. I'll update later when I'm emotionally capable, but it's one of those things that brings life into perspective.. Make those hugs extra tight tonight, one never knows what tomorrow brings.

Hey Rin,

How did you fair? Didn't come in as bad as thought? Keep us posted when you can.

{{{{{{{{{{{JAMES}}}}}}}}} It's always amazing and unearthing how G-d puts things in perspective for us. However we still choose to see it or not.

Take care and let us know how you are doing.

Q

HI B! Thanks for writing and asking...I'm not sure how things are at my house yet...I still haven't found anyone to check on it...of course there's not a whole lot of ppl in the parish right now...I'll be heading to LA tomorrow...it's a long drive from here to there so I'll be stopping at my dad's for the night before heading back home...

Besides we're not allowed back in until Friday at 6am and no later than 8pm...will be under curfew for some time I'm sure...no power but we can get food, water, and ice...

I'll keep you all posted...limited internet access here and i probably will not have it for a while at home, being that they haven't determined when we will be getting power back...

love all of you, keep prayin...and take care!
Rin

Rin,

So glad to see an update from you! Sorry you have no word yet on your place, but I know you are thankful just to have those 2 most important little guys safe & sound with you.

Please drive safe.

Praying for you and everyone down there!!

Keep us posted.

Just wanted to post an update I got from Rin.

The house is missing some siding and an small piece of the awning was torn down. At first glance the roof looks fine. They have water, but still no electricity. Her dad is bringing a generator to solve that problem.

Eph,

Thanks so much for the Rin update! Rin,,,,,,Glad to hear things aren't destroyed. Sounds like the necessary repairs aren't anything you can't handle.

Keep an eye out for my little brother down there,,,,,,he just might be on the crew that is restoring your power. He's down there with his lineman crew from Illinois. Last I heard he was moving from Mississippi over to Louisiana. Good looking, shaved head, tatoos, big smile, smart a$$/funny guy,,,,,,,and to add to that description that tells you nothing I'll give you one more tidbit that he'll probably be wearing a Harley shirt! ha!!

I've always loved being at places where there are lots of bikers and someone tries to describe one of them. It's always "black Harley shirt and tatoos!" I always say, "Sure I saw him specifically!"

Hope you are well. Give us an update when you can.

hi all...I finally got internet connection tonight...took a little work with extension cords, etc...still have no power...not sure when we will be getting it...we have a little block in our section that still doesn't have it...everyone else around us...but we have a wire across the street that's down and the transformer is at the end of my driveway...we go out to get ice, food, and water...when we come in, we check the transformer and nothing yet...

as most ppl, i lost everything in the freeze...

POWS was suppose to return to work today, all of the company's employees were...did he do it...no, just like it was suppose to be his weekend...guess where they stayed...with me...YS wanted to call him, so I let him...POWS is suppose to come by tomorrow...but a friend of mine invited us to go to his house a few hours from here...instead of spending 40 to 60 dollars a day for gas to run the generator at nite...so after my meeting at work tomorrow to see when we are going back to work...i may take off and go there to be a little more comfortable...

yesterday I went help a friend cut down some trees and haul them and then ended up at another friend's house and helped the neighbor tarp his roof...when I was there, I found out a little more on why Mr. POWS lost his office job...basically not cut out for the job, not doing what he was suppoe too...like I thought...he really pisses me off...I talked to him the other day...he asked about the house and not the kids...SOOOO typical him...

I know I'm more aggravated these days because of the heat and dealing with all of this crap by myself...my dad and a friend came to stay and that helped out alot...

we're also watching Ike to see what he's going to do...and the dog got hit by a van today, but she appears to be perfectly fine...no limping or anything...I just felt bad for the boys b/c they watched her...perhaps she learned her lesson about running off...

I did find out today that I will be getting paid for the time off, which is a great help...I'm waiting until Ike does his thing to call the insurance company, I don't have enough damamge to do anything with them but have to go through the motions to get to FEMA to pay for the evacution expenses and all of the expenses I'm taking on now...we actually got mail today, that was amazing, I wasn't expecting that...still waiting on garabage pickup...all that food I lost is starting to smell pretty bad...

okay, I'm venting a little but I really have nothing to really complain about I'm really lucky...I have pictures that I want to upload when things get back to normal...

I don't even know if POWS is going to take this weekend b/c he missed last weekend...he's sooooooo.....sooooo....avoiding his stuff...and I'm carrying the load...so the norm with him...

I need to relax...today was the hottest...and I'm tired...

Bugs, I wish I would run into your brother...LOL...I NEED HIM!!! LOL

Umm, yeah...it was a little more involved than that! :RollieEyes:

Thanks goodness for your remote IT help